Betrayal 2012 by Amber Garr Page B

table.  I caught him looking at me in a way a man should look at a woman.  His gaze was full of hunger and a wave of sensation washed over me like an aphrodisiac.  We had only lived together for three weeks, but those three weeks were the closest both physically and emotionally that we had ever been.  Not only did I miss his companionship, but I missed our experiences.
    “You look amazing,” he finally said.  “You’ve changed.”
    “No I haven’t,” I replied even though I recalled thinking the same thing earlier in the evening.  “Well, I feel like I’ve aged about five years in the last month.”  I didn’t even try to hide the sadness that went along with those words.  Losing my parent’s was still hard, having the responsibilities of a clan leader weighed me down, but not knowing where Brendan and I stood had plagued me the most.
    “It’s not a bad thing, Evs.”  He reached across the table and grabbed my hand.  Shivers ran through my body with that one touch.  “You just seem older.  More mature.  Wiser.”  He smiled his crooked grin that I loved.  It always showed the tiniest hint of a dimple and accentuated the glimmer in his eyes.  My face lit up without command.
    “I suppose I am wiser now.”  Squeezing his hand I pushed the next question out through gritted teeth.  “How are you doing?” 
    Instead of responding right away, he looked at me in wonder again.  I wished I was telepathic at this moment because right now I had no idea what was going through his mind.  His carefully schooled face didn’t provide any hint and I began to worry that he was thinking only bad things.
    “I’m alright, I guess,” he finally answered.  “Julian’s been really great and it’s kind of neat to be in Seattle again.”  Brendan and his father lived in this area before he was kicked out of the house at sixteen.  It wasn’t personal.  It was just the way the selkie’s were.  They stuck around long enough to raise their child on their own, but as soon as they were capable, the kids were left to fend for themselves.
    I wanted to ask him more, but he continued to speak.  “It’s just not right.”  He pulled away from me and sat back in his chair.  Running both hands through his hair, he let out a sigh that seemed full of desperation and defeat.  Fresh tears glistened in his eyes.  “I don’t feel right .  I’m not supposed to be here.”  His hands reached for mine again and I didn’t hesitate.  This was it.  The moment I’ve been waiting for.  “I miss you so much, Evs.  Nothing in me functions when I’m away from you.  It’s like half of me has been cut away and I’m dragging around a lifeless body.”  He dropped his gaze and shook his head.  “I can’t stay here.”
    Time literally stopped as I processed his words.  I think he was saying that he wanted to come back to California and that he wanted us to be together again.  The pure happiness and joy that washed over me was the best feeling that I’d had since we were in that mountain lodge together on my birthday.  It was almost too good to be true.
    “Come back with me.”  I said and then quickly added, “Or at least to California.  We can take things one day at a time.”
    He raised his head to look up at me and smiled.  “I think that’s what I want.”  I squeezed his hands even tighter as he leaned across the table and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.  The electricity between us was undeniable and it took every ounce of maturity I’d gained over the past month not to pull him back towards me.  “But I can’t leave yet.”
    My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and apparently my face showed my dismay.  “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he quickly continued.  “I just have to talk to Julian and get a few things in order first.”
    I nodded and said, “Okay,” without really understanding what he meant.  I feared that if he spoke to Julian, he would change his mind