last
look through the room for anything else that could be useful.
“He was thorough. There’s nothing else
here,” Robert comments.
I share Robert’s feeling of disappointment
even though his observation doesn’t surprise me. “This is how he eluded
capture for so many years. He wasn’t one to leave evidence behind.”
“I guess I was lucky, then,” Robert
responds with a short laugh that shows little humor , “ though
if I had more concrete evidence of his other dealings, he
would have been in jail so much longer, and this never would have happened.”
I don’t know what to say. We’ll both
live with regrets about Mark and everything to do with him for the rest of our
lives. Pondering what could have been does nothing to
help our current situation.
I clear my throat and grab the bag of
papers, throwing it over my shoulder before moving to the door. “There’s one
more place I want to check before we leave.”
We make our way up the staircases and down
the hallway to the apartment I shared with Morgan during our time here, to the
one place where we were truly separated from Mark and his business and the rest
of the world.
The door is locked, but it’s so old and
run-down I manage to break it open with a hard slam of my shoulder against it.
I turn on the light and am instantly
overwhelmed by the feeling of Morgan that still exists in this small
apartment. Her presence is felt all around me as I take in the plaid fabric
couch where we held each other for hours, the tiny kitchen with ancient
appliances where I’d sometimes make her breakfast with eggs that I stole from
the mess hall, the unmade bed where our naked bodies last met to share in the
ultimate connection between us, the pillows we cried into when we realized the full weight of what we had done after we tried to create life
together.
She is everywhere in here, and yet she
is nowhere. I have no idea where she is.
“This is where you both lived,” Robert says,
almost in disbelief at his moment of realization .
I nod. I don’t know that I can
properly speak right now.
Robert looks around the small room, picking at the peeling paint on the white wall as
he ambles to ward the couch.
Morgan’s dresses are still there, resting neatly across the arm of the worn
piece of furniture . They’re the outfits Mark bought for her
after she proved that her presence and sex appeal were secret weapons that
could be used in his business meetings.
Robert fingers through them, no doubt
noticing just how revealing and sexy the dresses were meant to look on her. I
don’t want him to think about his daughter like that.
“That wasn’t really her,” I assure
him. “She wore those dresses and went to Mark’s business meetings because she
felt she had to. She wanted to make herself useful to Mark to ensure her
survival, but it was mostly an act. She enjoyed the
rush she got from it, but she wasn’t really like that.” I remember what Robert
said about not giving up on her, so I correct myself. “I mean, she isn’t really
like that.”
Robert lets go of the dresses, looking
up at me with a sad but knowing smile. “She had her reasons for choosing this
life.”
What he’s really saying is she had me,
and she sacrificed everything for me.
I look away from Robert, unable to meet
his gaze again, and busy myself with filling the rest of the trash bag of papers with some of my clothes from the room. I ignore the small part of my brain that
thinks if I look up I’ll see Morgan sleeping soundly on the bed. It takes
every bit of willpower I have not to look for her there .
I move to the door, turning around to
take one last look at the place where my love for Morgan grew stronger and blossomed into something beautiful .
I’m ready to move on from here . I’m ready to get the
hell out of this place and back out into the world to find her.
7
His Perseverance
∞
I’ve only seen
pieces of
look through the room for anything else that could be useful.
“He was thorough. There’s nothing else
here,” Robert comments.
I share Robert’s feeling of disappointment
even though his observation doesn’t surprise me. “This is how he eluded
capture for so many years. He wasn’t one to leave evidence behind.”
“I guess I was lucky, then,” Robert
responds with a short laugh that shows little humor , “ though
if I had more concrete evidence of his other dealings, he
would have been in jail so much longer, and this never would have happened.”
I don’t know what to say. We’ll both
live with regrets about Mark and everything to do with him for the rest of our
lives. Pondering what could have been does nothing to
help our current situation.
I clear my throat and grab the bag of
papers, throwing it over my shoulder before moving to the door. “There’s one
more place I want to check before we leave.”
We make our way up the staircases and down
the hallway to the apartment I shared with Morgan during our time here, to the
one place where we were truly separated from Mark and his business and the rest
of the world.
The door is locked, but it’s so old and
run-down I manage to break it open with a hard slam of my shoulder against it.
I turn on the light and am instantly
overwhelmed by the feeling of Morgan that still exists in this small
apartment. Her presence is felt all around me as I take in the plaid fabric
couch where we held each other for hours, the tiny kitchen with ancient
appliances where I’d sometimes make her breakfast with eggs that I stole from
the mess hall, the unmade bed where our naked bodies last met to share in the
ultimate connection between us, the pillows we cried into when we realized the full weight of what we had done after we tried to create life
together.
She is everywhere in here, and yet she
is nowhere. I have no idea where she is.
“This is where you both lived,” Robert says,
almost in disbelief at his moment of realization .
I nod. I don’t know that I can
properly speak right now.
Robert looks around the small room, picking at the peeling paint on the white wall as
he ambles to ward the couch.
Morgan’s dresses are still there, resting neatly across the arm of the worn
piece of furniture . They’re the outfits Mark bought for her
after she proved that her presence and sex appeal were secret weapons that
could be used in his business meetings.
Robert fingers through them, no doubt
noticing just how revealing and sexy the dresses were meant to look on her. I
don’t want him to think about his daughter like that.
“That wasn’t really her,” I assure
him. “She wore those dresses and went to Mark’s business meetings because she
felt she had to. She wanted to make herself useful to Mark to ensure her
survival, but it was mostly an act. She enjoyed the
rush she got from it, but she wasn’t really like that.” I remember what Robert
said about not giving up on her, so I correct myself. “I mean, she isn’t really
like that.”
Robert lets go of the dresses, looking
up at me with a sad but knowing smile. “She had her reasons for choosing this
life.”
What he’s really saying is she had me,
and she sacrificed everything for me.
I look away from Robert, unable to meet
his gaze again, and busy myself with filling the rest of the trash bag of papers with some of my clothes from the room. I ignore the small part of my brain that
thinks if I look up I’ll see Morgan sleeping soundly on the bed. It takes
every bit of willpower I have not to look for her there .
I move to the door, turning around to
take one last look at the place where my love for Morgan grew stronger and blossomed into something beautiful .
I’m ready to move on from here . I’m ready to get the
hell out of this place and back out into the world to find her.
7
His Perseverance
∞
I’ve only seen
pieces of
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