few years’ time, when——’
People interrupted her, and I felt as if I were being pulled in half, because she was so brave but she was so wrong and I loved her. As soon as she had finished, though no one could hear what she said after a bit, everyone shouted that they didn’t agree. Sir Meredith Sullivan stood there listening to it all.
Finally he said, ‘You seem to be outnumbered, Miss Jones’—he knew who she was. Then he spoke to all of us again and said, ‘You wish me, then, to tell the trustees that St Thomas’s must be kept going at all costs?’
We all shouted, ‘Yes,’ and clapped our hands like mad. I watched Victoria as I clapped, and I saw her pushing out of the ballroom through the crowd. Her face was tight and beautiful, but I knew she wanted to cry. I left Sir Meredith—that was a bad thing to do, but I had to—and worked my way round after Victoria.
She had reached the outside doors by the time I caught her up, and Ted Dunphy was talking to her there. They didn’t see me, and I stopped short. Dunphy was standing in front of her, twisting his hands with nervousness. I heard him say, stuttering all the time, ‘I—I just wanted to tell you that I b-believe you are right, M-Miss Jones. D-Don’t think everyone is against you, p-please. I’m not. I think you are absolutely right.’
Victoria smiled at him through her tears. Ted was a young driver, and he was in love with Victoria, I knew that. He worshipped her.
Then a fellow came to tell me Sir Meredith Sullivan wanted to speak to me, and I had to go back with him while Victoria glanced at me and went out through the big doors to the outside.
Sir Meredith kept me for half an hour. I don’t remember what it was about, because thinking of Victoria wanderingabout and crying was like having the fever. As soon as I could I got out of there, leaving them all, and went quickly to Victoria’s house. I knocked. No one answered, so I went in. She wasn’t there, and I went out of the back door, across the lawn, through the bushes, and on to the line.
The signal light shone red among a lot of floating stars. A little pencil of white light shone straight down from the bottom of the signal lamp, just enough to make a short stretch of rail look like a silver bar. I smelled cigarette smoke and heard an engine puffing slowly a long way off, and the low murmuring, almost growling noise, that Bhowani City makes at night from across the waste land beyond the line.
I knew where to go to find her, because in the old days we had often met to talk under that signal.
I saw the end of her cigarette and then the shape of her, and I whispered, ‘Are you there, Victoria? Oh, Victoria, I am glad I found you.’
She didn’t say anything, and I could see the wet on her eyes by the signal light. I tried to tell her why I hadn’t spoken up to defend her in the Institute. I told her I couldn’t, because I didn’t agree. She said she understood. She said it was obvious that she and I didn’t think the same about a lot of things, important things. I kicked at the ballast with my foot so that the stones crunched together under the toe of my shoe. I said, ‘I love you, Victoria. I know what you feel. I understand, honestly I do.’ I was trying to find some way of helping her, of persuading her she’d be happier if she closed her eyes and fought alongside the rest of us.
She didn’t answer. While I waited for her to speak I moved a little so that some of the red from the signal lamp shone on my face. I must have looked bad, frightening. The engine puffed slowly, like breathing, over there under the Sindhya Hills.
Victoria sighed, and I tried to catch her in my arms. Words were no good. I could smell her hair and her scent all together with the hot steel smell of the railway.
I am very strong, and I was crushing her and couldn’t let go because if I did I was afraid she’d leave me for ever. I didn’tlet go until she said, not angry but tired, ‘Let me
People interrupted her, and I felt as if I were being pulled in half, because she was so brave but she was so wrong and I loved her. As soon as she had finished, though no one could hear what she said after a bit, everyone shouted that they didn’t agree. Sir Meredith Sullivan stood there listening to it all.
Finally he said, ‘You seem to be outnumbered, Miss Jones’—he knew who she was. Then he spoke to all of us again and said, ‘You wish me, then, to tell the trustees that St Thomas’s must be kept going at all costs?’
We all shouted, ‘Yes,’ and clapped our hands like mad. I watched Victoria as I clapped, and I saw her pushing out of the ballroom through the crowd. Her face was tight and beautiful, but I knew she wanted to cry. I left Sir Meredith—that was a bad thing to do, but I had to—and worked my way round after Victoria.
She had reached the outside doors by the time I caught her up, and Ted Dunphy was talking to her there. They didn’t see me, and I stopped short. Dunphy was standing in front of her, twisting his hands with nervousness. I heard him say, stuttering all the time, ‘I—I just wanted to tell you that I b-believe you are right, M-Miss Jones. D-Don’t think everyone is against you, p-please. I’m not. I think you are absolutely right.’
Victoria smiled at him through her tears. Ted was a young driver, and he was in love with Victoria, I knew that. He worshipped her.
Then a fellow came to tell me Sir Meredith Sullivan wanted to speak to me, and I had to go back with him while Victoria glanced at me and went out through the big doors to the outside.
Sir Meredith kept me for half an hour. I don’t remember what it was about, because thinking of Victoria wanderingabout and crying was like having the fever. As soon as I could I got out of there, leaving them all, and went quickly to Victoria’s house. I knocked. No one answered, so I went in. She wasn’t there, and I went out of the back door, across the lawn, through the bushes, and on to the line.
The signal light shone red among a lot of floating stars. A little pencil of white light shone straight down from the bottom of the signal lamp, just enough to make a short stretch of rail look like a silver bar. I smelled cigarette smoke and heard an engine puffing slowly a long way off, and the low murmuring, almost growling noise, that Bhowani City makes at night from across the waste land beyond the line.
I knew where to go to find her, because in the old days we had often met to talk under that signal.
I saw the end of her cigarette and then the shape of her, and I whispered, ‘Are you there, Victoria? Oh, Victoria, I am glad I found you.’
She didn’t say anything, and I could see the wet on her eyes by the signal light. I tried to tell her why I hadn’t spoken up to defend her in the Institute. I told her I couldn’t, because I didn’t agree. She said she understood. She said it was obvious that she and I didn’t think the same about a lot of things, important things. I kicked at the ballast with my foot so that the stones crunched together under the toe of my shoe. I said, ‘I love you, Victoria. I know what you feel. I understand, honestly I do.’ I was trying to find some way of helping her, of persuading her she’d be happier if she closed her eyes and fought alongside the rest of us.
She didn’t answer. While I waited for her to speak I moved a little so that some of the red from the signal lamp shone on my face. I must have looked bad, frightening. The engine puffed slowly, like breathing, over there under the Sindhya Hills.
Victoria sighed, and I tried to catch her in my arms. Words were no good. I could smell her hair and her scent all together with the hot steel smell of the railway.
I am very strong, and I was crushing her and couldn’t let go because if I did I was afraid she’d leave me for ever. I didn’tlet go until she said, not angry but tired, ‘Let me
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