him, of course. I always missed him when he wasn't around, but if it gave him a chance to be at home every night, then I was all for it.
I could tell it had been the answer she had been looking for, and she beamed the rest of the way home. Personally, I just tried not to grimace too much. I couldn't stop thinking about Matt. He wasn't mine in any way, shape, or form. Why in the world would I care if he got in Kendra's car? Then again, why would he feel the need to lie to me about it?
Something was strange about all of it.
We got home and I remembered my weight loss goal. Nine hundred calories for the day. My stomach remembered that nine hundred was way too low and I needed at least twelve hundred if not more to be healthy. I told my stomach to get over it. Once I was healthy, I'd start eating better. Until then, I needed a jump start. Nine hundred calories would have to tide me over for the next ten weeks while I lost my twenty-five pounds.
Mom fixed grilled cheese and French fries for supper. She obviously didn't know about my new diet. Mentally calculating, I didn't see how grilled cheese could be very fattening so I ate my sandwich with a glass of milk and only a handful of fries. There, all totaled, that couldn't be over nine hundred calories.
At around six, I kissed my mom good night and headed up the stairs to do my homework. When she questioned why I was heading up so early, I reminded her about my horrible English poet paper. She never asked again.
Once in my room, I threw my backpack down and slid into my computer chair. I pulled up the weight loss site I'd favorited this morning and got to work.
Breakfast: Toast- 79 Calories (Not too bad!)
Lunch: Half chicken sandwich 220 (Oh! I was doing well. Still had 600 calories left for the day!)
Supper: Grilled Cheese—185 calories; fries—130 calories. Total: 315
Total for the day: 614 calories
614 calories! Total! I was 286 in the hole! I couldn't believe it. I'd done it. Sure, I hadn't eaten a fruit or a real vegetable… and my legs felt a little weak, but the website said if I kept this up, I'd weigh 176.8 in five weeks! Nearly twenty pounds less than I did now.
My weight loss was doable!
I couldn't be happier.
Saving my food log, I pulled out my English and started on my paper. I had found three dead poets and just needed two more to print biographies on and then work them into a five page paper.
The longer I sat, the more fidgety I became and the more my head started to ache. After suffering for another thirty minutes, I decided the culprit must be the computer screen. Folding my laptop, I rubbed my eyes to ease the strain on them. The clock on my phone said it was only seven, but I couldn't stay up any longer. With my homework relatively complete, I crawled into bed without taking off my clothes or brushing my teeth. In a few seconds, the sandman came to visit me.
****
Red lights taunted me from my nightstand. My clock read 2:08 and it was still dark. Normally, I could roll over and go back to sleep. Not tonight. Tonight, my stomach growled and no matter how much I told it to shut up, it refused to listen. At around three, exhausted, I grudgingly got up and flopped my feet on the floor. If I couldn't go one day without eating like a pig, how did I expect to make it five or six more weeks?
Tired, worn-out, and frustrated, I made my way down the dark stairs and into the kitchen. I don't know why I snuck really. It wasn't like my mom would open her door across from mine and scold me for getting a midnight snack. I had to keep my thoughts on the goal. Skinny… Skinny like Kendra… Skinny like my mom… skinny so I wouldn't be 'Big' anymore. I had no control over what people called me, but I did have control over how I looked — well, how much I weighed anyway.
In the dark, I opened the refrigerator door and became blinded by the light. It took a few seconds for my eyes to focus again. When they did, I grabbed a soft drink. On the counter, I grabbed
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