Bird Brained by Jessica Speart Page B

for who I am, and realize that my work is as important to me as yours is to you?”
    Santou sighed deeply. “Because I have enough stress just dealing with my own career. And I don’t think I can stomach downing any more Mylanta.”
    “Whoever asked you to deal with mine?” I quickly retorted.
    Jake stared at me for a long moment, as if weighing what he was about to say. “There’s no way I can help it,
ch
è
re
.” Then, taking hold of my finger, he dipped it into his wine glass and slipped the tip into his mouth, gently sucking on it until my soul clung to the edge of my skin. “Remember, I said there’d be no games between us?” His voice was as deep as a tom-tom beating a warning.
    Those were the words Santou had used back in Las Vegas, when he’d first asked me to marry him. My finger fell from between his lips, and I suddenly felt cold.
    “We can’t put this off any longer, Rachel. It’s way too important, and you’ve been dodging the issue for months. I’m ready to settle down. I want a real home, with a wife and children. I’m not talking about some time in the foreseeable future. I mean here and now.”
    “Don’t tell me: You’ve got a justice of the peace hidden around the corner, just waiting for you to give him a sign,” I teased, trying to ignore the lump in my throat.
    “Say the word, and I’ll have one over here faster than you can whip up a wedding garter,” Santou challenged.
    “I don’t even know if I can get a transfer back to New Orleans,” I replied, playing for time. “Unless you’re thinking of applying for a job with Metro Dade. In which case, I’ll have to check and see if Fish and Wildlife would be willing to let me stay on in Miami indefinitely.”
    Santou’s expression put a stop to my rambling. “That’s what we need to talk about, Rachel.” He hesitated and my heart teetered on the edge of a bottomless precipice. “The more I think about it, the more I realize I can’t deal with a part-time wife and mother who fits me and our kids in between working on cases and shrugging off death threats.”
    I began to laugh, only to realize that Jake was serious. “You’re joking. You expect me to give up my job?” I asked incredulously. “All for kids that we don’t even have yet?” Santou veered away from my gaze, but only for a moment. Then his eyes met mine, their intensity settled into stubborn resolve. “That’s part of it. I also need someone who’s there for me, 100 percent of the time.”
    “Don’t you think I am?” I asked, the words dry as sawdust in my throat.
    “Only when it fits into your schedule,” he replied. “From what I can tell, you’re interested in a relationship that takes place in installments, depending on where you’re transferred next. That’s not something that I can live with.”
    I couldn’t be certain which was pounding harder—the beat of my heart, or the throb of my growing anger. “You’ve known from the start that I’m not the domestic type. Since when did you become such an old-fashioned guy?”
    Santou’s jaw visibly tightened. “Call it what you want, Rachel. But I need to be number one in your life, and our children number two. You can’t deny the fact that your job takes precedence over everything else, at the moment.”
    “I didn’t realize my work posed such a threat,” I responded with forced coolness. “But if those are your demands, then maybe I’m not the right woman for you.” I held my breath, waiting for him to vow that there was no other woman in the world for him.
    A nerve twitched beneath Jake’s right eye, as if in reaction to an invisible slap. “Should I take that as your final word on the subject?” he quietly asked.
    I nodded, unable to speak.
    “Then maybe you’re right, Rachel. Maybe you’re not the woman for me, after all,” he replied, equally cool. And then he stood up.
    “Where are you going?” I asked numbly, too stunned by the speed of events to believe what was