seemed to be appraising him.
‘What do you like?’ the man asked.
A deep voice. Sexy, Brian thought with relief. A manly voice.
‘Lots of things,’ Brian said.
Did the man just want sex? That would be a small disappointment – but maybe OK too.
‘And you?’ Brian asked.
The man did not reply. Slowly he extended one of his hands towards Brian. The motion was controlled and calm – he didn’t want to startle Brian when he touched him.
The man lightly rested his hand on Brian’s shoulder. Brian felt as the man probed his shoulder and shirt. Maybe he was feeling to see if he worked out. What a strange situation – did this guy choose his companions like squeezing fruit at the greengrocer’s?
‘I like the dark,’ the man said.
Brian stared in confusion. He didn’t know this code word. It sounded intriguing but strange.
Then the man left. Just like that, disappearing as quickly as he came.
Brian stared into the mass of humanity in the middle of the dance floor, hurt, rejected, useless.
Two hours later he had had enough.
The night had not been good. Not bad, since Evelyn and other people he knew had been around, but nothing had led anywhere. He hadn’t seen or wanted to see the man in the leather jacket any more, and the two others who caught his attention hadn’t shown any signs of interest. Evelyn had confided in him about worries at work – she was having a hard time getting past the open disdain one of her colleagues showed for her – but there was nothing new in any of this. Evelyn was always having some problem at work, and there were always men in the bars who were destined to be nothing more than eye candy.
Walking to the door, he wiped the sweat from his brow. Adele was singing one of her songs that you felt through your whole body. Brian waited to hear the end.
Once Adele’s confession was complete, Brian found Evelyn smoking outside. Two boys were bumming fags from her. Too young for Brian.
‘Ready, Evie?’ he asked.
In reply he received kisses, one on one cheek and then another on the other. Evelyn was drunk, almost too intoxicated to walk.
‘
Completely
ready,’ Evelyn sighed.
‘
Complete
idiot,’ Brian said affectionately.
If nothing else came of these evenings, at least they brought the two of them closer together.
Evelyn was in no shape for the Tube, so they would have to get a taxi. Brian glanced up and down Camden High Street, but no taxis were anywhere near. What he could see were men standing around.
There were always a few standing around outside gay bars like the Black Cap looking for company. The ones who didn’t dare go inside or who didn’t want to for one reason or another. Some of the guys loitering outside were always hopeless cases, and sometimes they were prostitutes looking for clients who hadn’t found anyone to go home with in the bar.
Walking past these men was a sort of little test. You had to be looked at, to have glances follow you. Sometimes someone approached him, but Brian wasn’t looking for that – the man of his dreams wasn’t going to be hanging around outside a bar like this.
But if no one even looked, that would also be a sign. Brian was well over thirty, but still a good prospect for a while yet. How long exactly would be measured here, among other places.
Slowly he walked along the street, looking for a taxi and keeping a lazy eye on the loiterers. One looked. Then another. Thoroughly. That one would have come over to chat if he had looked back.
Brian’s shirt might be a little too small, he might never have been able to make a relationship work and now he’d been on one more night out he would never remember, but he still had a future at least.
Then, far ahead, he saw the man in the leather jacket, waiting on a street corner. The man was looking at him, waiting for him. His eyes burned even at this distance.
Bing. Round One
. It was as if Brian heard a real sound in his head, the bell at the beginning of a boxing match
‘What do you like?’ the man asked.
A deep voice. Sexy, Brian thought with relief. A manly voice.
‘Lots of things,’ Brian said.
Did the man just want sex? That would be a small disappointment – but maybe OK too.
‘And you?’ Brian asked.
The man did not reply. Slowly he extended one of his hands towards Brian. The motion was controlled and calm – he didn’t want to startle Brian when he touched him.
The man lightly rested his hand on Brian’s shoulder. Brian felt as the man probed his shoulder and shirt. Maybe he was feeling to see if he worked out. What a strange situation – did this guy choose his companions like squeezing fruit at the greengrocer’s?
‘I like the dark,’ the man said.
Brian stared in confusion. He didn’t know this code word. It sounded intriguing but strange.
Then the man left. Just like that, disappearing as quickly as he came.
Brian stared into the mass of humanity in the middle of the dance floor, hurt, rejected, useless.
Two hours later he had had enough.
The night had not been good. Not bad, since Evelyn and other people he knew had been around, but nothing had led anywhere. He hadn’t seen or wanted to see the man in the leather jacket any more, and the two others who caught his attention hadn’t shown any signs of interest. Evelyn had confided in him about worries at work – she was having a hard time getting past the open disdain one of her colleagues showed for her – but there was nothing new in any of this. Evelyn was always having some problem at work, and there were always men in the bars who were destined to be nothing more than eye candy.
Walking to the door, he wiped the sweat from his brow. Adele was singing one of her songs that you felt through your whole body. Brian waited to hear the end.
Once Adele’s confession was complete, Brian found Evelyn smoking outside. Two boys were bumming fags from her. Too young for Brian.
‘Ready, Evie?’ he asked.
In reply he received kisses, one on one cheek and then another on the other. Evelyn was drunk, almost too intoxicated to walk.
‘
Completely
ready,’ Evelyn sighed.
‘
Complete
idiot,’ Brian said affectionately.
If nothing else came of these evenings, at least they brought the two of them closer together.
Evelyn was in no shape for the Tube, so they would have to get a taxi. Brian glanced up and down Camden High Street, but no taxis were anywhere near. What he could see were men standing around.
There were always a few standing around outside gay bars like the Black Cap looking for company. The ones who didn’t dare go inside or who didn’t want to for one reason or another. Some of the guys loitering outside were always hopeless cases, and sometimes they were prostitutes looking for clients who hadn’t found anyone to go home with in the bar.
Walking past these men was a sort of little test. You had to be looked at, to have glances follow you. Sometimes someone approached him, but Brian wasn’t looking for that – the man of his dreams wasn’t going to be hanging around outside a bar like this.
But if no one even looked, that would also be a sign. Brian was well over thirty, but still a good prospect for a while yet. How long exactly would be measured here, among other places.
Slowly he walked along the street, looking for a taxi and keeping a lazy eye on the loiterers. One looked. Then another. Thoroughly. That one would have come over to chat if he had looked back.
Brian’s shirt might be a little too small, he might never have been able to make a relationship work and now he’d been on one more night out he would never remember, but he still had a future at least.
Then, far ahead, he saw the man in the leather jacket, waiting on a street corner. The man was looking at him, waiting for him. His eyes burned even at this distance.
Bing. Round One
. It was as if Brian heard a real sound in his head, the bell at the beginning of a boxing match
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