skin flushed from the effects of their meld and mutual desire. She gazed down at him, her hair falling forward and touching his face like a spiderweb of silk.
“Choice.”
Julia stilled in his embrace, searching his serious eyes.
“You need to have choice. It's been robbed from you too many times. And your safety is foremost. It must be. I am your Singer soulmate but as the Combatant is charged with your safety, until that is assured, I can't let my selfishness take control.” He feathered kisses on the jaw that was exposed above him. “However damn much I want to. I love you too much to let harm come to you.” The kisses went lower, heat and air along her skin like the shiver of butterfly's wings.
Scott let Julia slide down his body and she felt how much he wanted her; it was in his eyes, against her body in rigid desperation, the heat of his hands at the small of her back, the harsh breaths he contained from the force of his will alone.
Julia wanted him back.
He knew it. Sensed it. Groaned from the lack of consummation.
Carefully... oh so carefully, Scott put Julia away from him.
“I don't know if I can do this...” Julia said. “I've been brave, I've survived. I thought Jason was dead, now he's worse than dead, he's some kind of crazy werewolf that's got mixed feelings about me... and, we're still married!” she cried, hands covering her face.
Scott closed his eyes. When he opened them, he moved another step away from her. Julia's hands fell from her tear-stained face as her eyes tracked his escape.
If he didn't leave now, Scott knew he never would. He spun on his heel, wrenching the door open and the remnants of the shattered knob fell on the floor and rolled on behind him.
It didn't entirely chase the sound of Julia's crying from him.
*
Julia didn't know how long she laid on that bed. Her heartbeats slowing to her own rhythm, not Scott's but her own.
She didn't eat. Didn't care.
Jen came wordlessly in to check on her, then out again. The sun moved in her room like a dial. Pie shaped wedges of sunlight moved relentlessly through the room until only a sliver remained.
Finally, Julia sat up and looked at the door, the hole where the knob used to be gaped back at her like a missing eyeball. She walked to the bathroom, shut the door and leaned against it. Julia looked at the shower then shucking her clothes as she walked to the stall, gave the faucet a vicious twist and went beneath spray so hot it nearly scalded her skin. When Julia had washed the grime and guilt from her body she toweled herself off and glided over to the mirror on the river of her sadness. She swiped the ornate mirror's surface using her forearm and the sense of déjà vu was strong as the image stared back. A little older now, a little more raw. Her eyes moved to the crescent-shaped scar that had everyone in a stupid lather and Julia had a moment of wanting so badly to break that reflection. Shatter that tether to the past with her fist.
Her hand hovered above the surface expectantly. Julia slowly lowered it; seven years bad luck and all. Besides, it wouldn't undue anything, or help her where she was now.
Julia turned away from her image, her belly griping about its emptiness. Julia moved out of her room and the entire household was buzzing with activity. The litter of glass was gone from the battle with the vampires. Workers had tables of plywood set up on sawhorses while one cut the glass to fit the hole in the pane, the other installed and glazed it. They were like a well-oiled machine. By tomorrow, it would be as if it never happened.
Paul approached her in the hallway and she gave him a grateful smile. It was amazing what a shower could wash away. Not everything, but enough to eke out another day of pretending to feel human.
Paul held out his hand, his carrot colored hair flopping with his enthusiastic pump of her hand. “Thanks.” She cocked her head, releasing his hand. “You're the one who’s keeping it all
“Choice.”
Julia stilled in his embrace, searching his serious eyes.
“You need to have choice. It's been robbed from you too many times. And your safety is foremost. It must be. I am your Singer soulmate but as the Combatant is charged with your safety, until that is assured, I can't let my selfishness take control.” He feathered kisses on the jaw that was exposed above him. “However damn much I want to. I love you too much to let harm come to you.” The kisses went lower, heat and air along her skin like the shiver of butterfly's wings.
Scott let Julia slide down his body and she felt how much he wanted her; it was in his eyes, against her body in rigid desperation, the heat of his hands at the small of her back, the harsh breaths he contained from the force of his will alone.
Julia wanted him back.
He knew it. Sensed it. Groaned from the lack of consummation.
Carefully... oh so carefully, Scott put Julia away from him.
“I don't know if I can do this...” Julia said. “I've been brave, I've survived. I thought Jason was dead, now he's worse than dead, he's some kind of crazy werewolf that's got mixed feelings about me... and, we're still married!” she cried, hands covering her face.
Scott closed his eyes. When he opened them, he moved another step away from her. Julia's hands fell from her tear-stained face as her eyes tracked his escape.
If he didn't leave now, Scott knew he never would. He spun on his heel, wrenching the door open and the remnants of the shattered knob fell on the floor and rolled on behind him.
It didn't entirely chase the sound of Julia's crying from him.
*
Julia didn't know how long she laid on that bed. Her heartbeats slowing to her own rhythm, not Scott's but her own.
She didn't eat. Didn't care.
Jen came wordlessly in to check on her, then out again. The sun moved in her room like a dial. Pie shaped wedges of sunlight moved relentlessly through the room until only a sliver remained.
Finally, Julia sat up and looked at the door, the hole where the knob used to be gaped back at her like a missing eyeball. She walked to the bathroom, shut the door and leaned against it. Julia looked at the shower then shucking her clothes as she walked to the stall, gave the faucet a vicious twist and went beneath spray so hot it nearly scalded her skin. When Julia had washed the grime and guilt from her body she toweled herself off and glided over to the mirror on the river of her sadness. She swiped the ornate mirror's surface using her forearm and the sense of déjà vu was strong as the image stared back. A little older now, a little more raw. Her eyes moved to the crescent-shaped scar that had everyone in a stupid lather and Julia had a moment of wanting so badly to break that reflection. Shatter that tether to the past with her fist.
Her hand hovered above the surface expectantly. Julia slowly lowered it; seven years bad luck and all. Besides, it wouldn't undue anything, or help her where she was now.
Julia turned away from her image, her belly griping about its emptiness. Julia moved out of her room and the entire household was buzzing with activity. The litter of glass was gone from the battle with the vampires. Workers had tables of plywood set up on sawhorses while one cut the glass to fit the hole in the pane, the other installed and glazed it. They were like a well-oiled machine. By tomorrow, it would be as if it never happened.
Paul approached her in the hallway and she gave him a grateful smile. It was amazing what a shower could wash away. Not everything, but enough to eke out another day of pretending to feel human.
Paul held out his hand, his carrot colored hair flopping with his enthusiastic pump of her hand. “Thanks.” She cocked her head, releasing his hand. “You're the one who’s keeping it all
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