Blood Ties by Peter David Page A

opportunity to try to cast aspersions. I wasn’t fooled by it for a moment.
    Word was that gnomes were relatively harmless, aside from their propensity for tossing out insults. Nor did it take much to dispose of them. A single well-placed shot was enough to blow them back to wherever it was they came from, be it Brightwall or the netherworld itself.
    Angry over its incessant insults, I pulled my pistol out and took aim.
    It didn’t flinch. Instead, it actually seemed to welcome the threat. “Hah! So much for what your word means. Go ahead, shoot. Prove that your promises are as worthless as you are. You know what I like about humans? They die. Which is what’s going to happen to you next time you’re not lucky enough to have a gnome warning you.”
    Never had I wanted more to pull a trigger on a weapon than I did at that moment. By the same token, never had I been less able to. The damned thing was right. I had given my word. It didn’t matter that the recipient of that word was some inhuman, insulting creature that had started out life—or what passed for life—as a statue in someone’s garden, providing something for birds to roost upon and crap all over.
    A promise was a promise.
    I holstered my gun and said aloud for the first time: “A promise is a promise.”
    The gnome looked and sounded disappointed. “You must be joking. Not that there’s a bigger joke in all these words than your face, but still . . .”
    â€œNo, I’m not joking. I’m not going to go back on an oath just because you’re not human. And why would it bother you that I’m letting you live? Would you rather die than be faced with the idea that a human’s word is his bond?”
    â€œYes,” said the gnome without hesitation. “Humans are worthless, smelly, foul-breathed, and disgusting. And those are their good points.”
    â€œOkay, well . . . you can add the fact that we keep our word to our good points.”
    â€œYou call that a good point? What kind of brainless git makes a promise that he’d rather not keep, then keeps it even though it’s going to cause him nothing but problems ?”
    â€œThe kind who believes that promises mean something.”
    â€œThe stupid kind, you mean.”
    â€œThere’s no point in arguing this with you,” I said. “I’ll be on my way, gnome, and you be on yours. Good day.”
    â€œHow can any day be a good one when you live to see the end of it?”
    I didn’t bother to reply. What was the point? The creature was what it was, and there was nothing to be gained by trying to go toe-to-toe with it in an insult competition. “Farewell, gnome.”
    I continued on my path down the road, then I heard a scuffling next to me. I looked down. The gnome was following me. “Where do you think you’re going?” I said.
    â€œThat depends.”
    â€œOn what?”
    â€œOn where you’re going,” said the gnome, with a gleeful ringing in its voice.
    â€œWait a minute.”
    â€œWhy a minute? Is that the maximum length you can hold a thought in your head?”
    â€œI didn’t say you could come with me.”
    The gnome chortled at that. “You didn’t say I couldn’t. Now that I think about it, even if you had said I couldn’t, that wouldn’t stop me.”
    â€œBut . . .” My mind was racing. “But why in the world would you want to come with me? I don’t even know where I’m going.”
    â€œOf course you don’t. With your head so far up your arse, how could you possibly be aware of anything?”
    â€œThe point is, there’s nothing for you to be gained by tagging along.”
    â€œOf course there is!” said the gnome with entirely too much joy for my comfort. “Usually I just hang out here and torment passersby. And I usually have to hide because I don’t need them taking shots at me. But you!