couldn't handle that, especially that. Her rejection would mortally wound him, more so than any pain a vampire could inflict upon him.
It became too painful to look at her any more, so he quietly got out of bed, grabbed some clothes from his bag, and took a very long shower. Standing there in the shower, with the hot water pounding on his neck and back, he thought about how much had changed in such a short time.
These feelings of longing for Lanie were so new that the sensation was raw. It was like an open wound, sensitive to touch and pressure. Sure, he had been with other women, but not like her. He never wanted to protect the others, or yearned for the titillation of their gentle touch. Lanie was different. He couldn't even picture himself without her near him anymore, with her gentle comforting ways and soothing voice. He didn't know what to do. All these confusing thoughts and feelings, not to mention the danger they were in, made everything a mess in his head.
He dried himself off, got dressed, grabbed his leather jacket and the giant hunk of wood with the room key, and quietly slipped out of the room. He thought maybe the cool fresh air of the morning would clear his head or make sense of the jumble of feelings that attacked him from all sides. Maybe this would be an opportune time to stop by the drug store and get some things for her. Like old times, he put his iPod on full blast and ear buds in and headed down the block to the drugstore.
Slipping into his old ways, he ignored everything around him and pushed the world away. Like a pair of old jeans that fit exactly the way you expected them to, this was comfortable. But Lanie was amazingly comfortable too. A totally different kind of comfortable, like being a normal person. He'd always thought that's what he wanted, to be a normal guy, with nobody else’s thoughts running through his mind. He had always thought he wanted a normal life with a beautiful woman and maybe a family of his own one day. Now he wasn't sure what he wanted.
He hadn't realized how scared he was until just then. This would be a totally different life, nothing like he was used to. The leap of faith to initiate it, to expose himself and his vulnerabilities to another person with the possibility of being rejected, that scared him more than anything.
Lanie had been a great friend to help him with this situation, but it didn't mean she had any feelings for him. How arrogant of him to think that he even had a chance with her. They'd really only known each other for a few days. He was probably getting all worked up about things when there wasn't anything to worry about. Normally that would have made him feel better, but somehow it only made his chest hurt and confused him more.
He was at the store now and went up and down the aisles realizing he really didn't know what she needed. What if she needs some girl stuff? I don't know what she would want or need. He walked down the feminine products aisle. It was overwhelming. There were tampons and pads and from there they had sizes. There were even some with wings. What the heck are wings ? There was light, super light, medium, overnight, super, heavy, scented, unscented. Geez, how could a woman decide? Next to the pads were a gazillion kind of condoms, lotions, and jellies. Dear God , he thought and blushed as he exited the aisle for something a little less embarrassing.
Toothbrushes and toothpaste, that I can handle – he thought. Aw geez . There were soft through hard bristle brushes, bent brushes, straight brushes, small through large headed brushes and at least six different colors to choose from of each kind. Not to mention, there were about a million different kinds of floss and toothpastes. Next to the toothpastes were the deodorants. There too, were a million different choices. How do women do it? I should have brought her . This was a stupid idea . He grabbed a straight
It became too painful to look at her any more, so he quietly got out of bed, grabbed some clothes from his bag, and took a very long shower. Standing there in the shower, with the hot water pounding on his neck and back, he thought about how much had changed in such a short time.
These feelings of longing for Lanie were so new that the sensation was raw. It was like an open wound, sensitive to touch and pressure. Sure, he had been with other women, but not like her. He never wanted to protect the others, or yearned for the titillation of their gentle touch. Lanie was different. He couldn't even picture himself without her near him anymore, with her gentle comforting ways and soothing voice. He didn't know what to do. All these confusing thoughts and feelings, not to mention the danger they were in, made everything a mess in his head.
He dried himself off, got dressed, grabbed his leather jacket and the giant hunk of wood with the room key, and quietly slipped out of the room. He thought maybe the cool fresh air of the morning would clear his head or make sense of the jumble of feelings that attacked him from all sides. Maybe this would be an opportune time to stop by the drug store and get some things for her. Like old times, he put his iPod on full blast and ear buds in and headed down the block to the drugstore.
Slipping into his old ways, he ignored everything around him and pushed the world away. Like a pair of old jeans that fit exactly the way you expected them to, this was comfortable. But Lanie was amazingly comfortable too. A totally different kind of comfortable, like being a normal person. He'd always thought that's what he wanted, to be a normal guy, with nobody else’s thoughts running through his mind. He had always thought he wanted a normal life with a beautiful woman and maybe a family of his own one day. Now he wasn't sure what he wanted.
He hadn't realized how scared he was until just then. This would be a totally different life, nothing like he was used to. The leap of faith to initiate it, to expose himself and his vulnerabilities to another person with the possibility of being rejected, that scared him more than anything.
Lanie had been a great friend to help him with this situation, but it didn't mean she had any feelings for him. How arrogant of him to think that he even had a chance with her. They'd really only known each other for a few days. He was probably getting all worked up about things when there wasn't anything to worry about. Normally that would have made him feel better, but somehow it only made his chest hurt and confused him more.
He was at the store now and went up and down the aisles realizing he really didn't know what she needed. What if she needs some girl stuff? I don't know what she would want or need. He walked down the feminine products aisle. It was overwhelming. There were tampons and pads and from there they had sizes. There were even some with wings. What the heck are wings ? There was light, super light, medium, overnight, super, heavy, scented, unscented. Geez, how could a woman decide? Next to the pads were a gazillion kind of condoms, lotions, and jellies. Dear God , he thought and blushed as he exited the aisle for something a little less embarrassing.
Toothbrushes and toothpaste, that I can handle – he thought. Aw geez . There were soft through hard bristle brushes, bent brushes, straight brushes, small through large headed brushes and at least six different colors to choose from of each kind. Not to mention, there were about a million different kinds of floss and toothpastes. Next to the toothpastes were the deodorants. There too, were a million different choices. How do women do it? I should have brought her . This was a stupid idea . He grabbed a straight
Similar Books
