Born Hard Again: Book Three of the Future Remembered Chronicles by Bo Unce Page B

answered.  Yes!  It was working!  My dickfeet were responding to the friction stimulation and started to harden and enlarge.  Soon I was standing on dick-stilts!  Now viewing from a higher elevation, I surveyed my surroundings.
    In the dim moonlight I saw an orange and red glimmer off in the distance, flickering softly.
    "Marcus, do you see that?" I asked.  "Do you think that could be Clarabelle69's mechsuit still burning?"
    "You know damn well I cain't see shit!  D'ya see any muffuckin' optical zoom on dis here camera?  Fuck you, P!"
    "Sorry, sorry, Koochy."  I took him by the hand and directed him to the north, out over the ghostly white expanse.  "We have to walk a little ways.  Shit, this ice is cold!"
    "Fo' rea'?  You juss figgered that out?" Koochy mocked.  "When e'erybody be like, 'Big Kooch, he col' as ice', you din't thank like oh shit, ice be chillin'?  Damn P, you a dumb ass little jeezy baby."
    "No, I meant like I need some dickshoes for my dickfeet," I continued.  "Ah!  Brrr!"
    "You cain't put shoes on yo' dick, foo'.  You put a hat on yo' dick!  But I don't fuck wit' dat neither, haaaaah!"
    "You never wear a condom?" I said.  "That's not safe, Marcus.  Sometimes I worry about you."
    "Ay, you do you, I juss do me.  You da' one wit' the baby momma.  Ain't no pussy hot 'nuff to burn muh.  I do dat burnin'!"
    I looked at him, puzzled.  Whatever.  "You're right, I agree," I replied.  Koochy nodded in acknowledgement, his dead jaw dangling with the motion.
    We finally reached the scene of our most recent disastrous battle; at least the most recent disastrous one that was above ground.  Enormous severed penises were strewn over the ice, now frozen into strange glittery stalagmites.  I scratched idly at my suit where something was uncomfortable under the chest plate.  Clarabelle69's mechsuit was a smoking ruin, a hulk of mangled metal with various wires, gears and flesh tubes spilling out of gaping holes all over its surface.  I recalled that it was powered by the strange energies behind Rule 34, so I stayed clear.
    "Ay, don't want none  o' dat," Koochy agreed.  "I want dat juice, not dat jizz!"
    I saw a shapely, sexy heap of chunks of blue flesh and averted my eyes, hoping that TK wouldn't overhear any stray thoughts about my former mistress.  Shit!   Now I had to try to quiet my thoughts about me thinking about thinking about it.  I was getting a headache.  At least it shifted the pain away from my freezing dickfeet.
    We'd reached the spot where I'd been bleeding out on the ice.  A short distance away from the dark pool of congealed and frozen blood, I saw a mutant-brain-sized divot in the thin snow.  The shallow dent was adjacent to a large slug-like trail cut through the accumulated powder.  The single thick groove went on for a few dozen meters and then separated into footprints, the evidence in the snowfall showing a slow, depressed shuffle off towards the horizon.  We'll meet again, Ralph my son , I thought to myself.
    I looked in the opposite direction.  "There!" I cried out.  "The chariot!  Maybe it has an extra power source we could use!"
    We reached the once-sleek vehicle.  It had been made for extended explorations and expedient travel across the ice sheets; it was not built for battle, and had suffered dearly in the fracas.  I noticed Putin's sigil on the side, matching the one on the suit that Koochy was wearing.
    "Yeah!  Look, some lights are on inside!" I observed.
    Some movement came from within, followed by a cheery and unfortunately familiar voice.
    "Hey, guys!" Alphonso greeted us.  "You're alive!  That's great!  I'm alive too!  Hooray!"
    "Shut the fuck up!" Koochy shot back.  "Nobody cares about yo' shit!"
    "So there was an extra surgipod in the chariot, did you guys know that?" Alphonso continued.  "Pretty helpful huh?  When that big robot thing knocked us around I got my knee hurt really bad, it was even bleeding a bit, I mean it was a pretty