not, in fact, conceive the state of things,
imagining that the authority and supervisal of the College extended
over her son's daily existence, whereas it was possible for Godwin
to frequent lectures or not, to study or to waste his time, pretty
much as he chose, subject only to official inquiry if his
attendance became frequently irregular. His independent temper, and
the seeming maturity of his mind, supplied another excuse for the
imprudent confidence which left him to his own resources. Yet the
perils of the situation were great indeed. A youth of less
concentrated purpose, more at the mercy of casual allurement, would
probably have gone to wreck amid trials so exceptional.
Trials not only of his moral nature. The sums of money with
which he was furnished fell short of a reasonable total for bare
necessities. In the calculation made by Mrs. Peak and her sister,
outlay on books had practically been lost sight of; it was presumed
that ten shillings a term would cover this item. But Godwin could
not consent to be at a disadvantage in his armoury for academic
contest. The first month saw him compelled to contract his diet,
that he might purchase books; thenceforth he rarely had enough to
eat. His landlady supplied him with breakfast, tea, and supper—each
repast of the very simplest kind; for dinner it was understood that
he repaired to some public table, where meat and vegetables, with
perchance a supplementary sweet when nature demanded it, might be
had for about a shilling. That shilling was not often at his
disposal. Dinner as it is understood by the comfortably clad, the
'regular meal' which is a part of English respectability, came to
be represented by a small pork-pie, or even a couple of buns, eaten
at the little shop over against the College. After a long morning
of mental application this was poor refreshment; the long afternoon
which followed, again spent in rigorous study, could not but reduce
a growing frame to ravenous hunger. Tea and buttered bread were the
means of appeasing it, until another four hours' work called for
reward in the shape of bread and cheese. Even yet the day's toil
was not ended. Godwin sometimes read long after midnight, with the
result that, when at length he tried to sleep, exhaustion of mind
and body kept him for a long time feverishly wakeful.
These hardships he concealed from the people at Twybridge.
Complaint, it seemed to him, would be ungrateful, for sacrifices
were already made on his behalf. His father, as he well remembered,
was wont to relate, with a kind of angry satisfaction, the miseries
through which he had fought his way to education and the
income-tax. Old enough now to reflect with compassionate
understanding upon that life of conflict, Godwin resolved that he
too would bear the burdens inseparable from poverty, and in some
moods was even glad to suffer as his father had done. Fortunately
he had a sound basis of health, and hunger and vigils would not
easily affect his constitution. If, thus hampered, he could
outstrip competitors who had every advantage of circumstance, the
more glorious his triumph.
Sunday was an interval of leisure. Rejoicing in deliverance from
Sabbatarianism, he generally spent the morning in a long walk, and
the rest of the day was devoted to non-collegiate reading. He had
subscribed to a circulating library, and thus obtained new
publications recommended to him in the literary paper which again
taxed his stomach. Mere class-work did not satisfy him. He was
possessed with throes of spiritual desire, impelling him towards
that world of unfettered speculation which he had long indistinctly
imagined. It was a great thing to learn what the past could teach,
to set himself on the common level of intellectual men; but he
understood that college learning could not be an end in itself,
that the Professors to whom he listened either did not speak out
all that was in their minds, or, if they did, were far from
representing the advanced guard of modern
imagining that the authority and supervisal of the College extended
over her son's daily existence, whereas it was possible for Godwin
to frequent lectures or not, to study or to waste his time, pretty
much as he chose, subject only to official inquiry if his
attendance became frequently irregular. His independent temper, and
the seeming maturity of his mind, supplied another excuse for the
imprudent confidence which left him to his own resources. Yet the
perils of the situation were great indeed. A youth of less
concentrated purpose, more at the mercy of casual allurement, would
probably have gone to wreck amid trials so exceptional.
Trials not only of his moral nature. The sums of money with
which he was furnished fell short of a reasonable total for bare
necessities. In the calculation made by Mrs. Peak and her sister,
outlay on books had practically been lost sight of; it was presumed
that ten shillings a term would cover this item. But Godwin could
not consent to be at a disadvantage in his armoury for academic
contest. The first month saw him compelled to contract his diet,
that he might purchase books; thenceforth he rarely had enough to
eat. His landlady supplied him with breakfast, tea, and supper—each
repast of the very simplest kind; for dinner it was understood that
he repaired to some public table, where meat and vegetables, with
perchance a supplementary sweet when nature demanded it, might be
had for about a shilling. That shilling was not often at his
disposal. Dinner as it is understood by the comfortably clad, the
'regular meal' which is a part of English respectability, came to
be represented by a small pork-pie, or even a couple of buns, eaten
at the little shop over against the College. After a long morning
of mental application this was poor refreshment; the long afternoon
which followed, again spent in rigorous study, could not but reduce
a growing frame to ravenous hunger. Tea and buttered bread were the
means of appeasing it, until another four hours' work called for
reward in the shape of bread and cheese. Even yet the day's toil
was not ended. Godwin sometimes read long after midnight, with the
result that, when at length he tried to sleep, exhaustion of mind
and body kept him for a long time feverishly wakeful.
These hardships he concealed from the people at Twybridge.
Complaint, it seemed to him, would be ungrateful, for sacrifices
were already made on his behalf. His father, as he well remembered,
was wont to relate, with a kind of angry satisfaction, the miseries
through which he had fought his way to education and the
income-tax. Old enough now to reflect with compassionate
understanding upon that life of conflict, Godwin resolved that he
too would bear the burdens inseparable from poverty, and in some
moods was even glad to suffer as his father had done. Fortunately
he had a sound basis of health, and hunger and vigils would not
easily affect his constitution. If, thus hampered, he could
outstrip competitors who had every advantage of circumstance, the
more glorious his triumph.
Sunday was an interval of leisure. Rejoicing in deliverance from
Sabbatarianism, he generally spent the morning in a long walk, and
the rest of the day was devoted to non-collegiate reading. He had
subscribed to a circulating library, and thus obtained new
publications recommended to him in the literary paper which again
taxed his stomach. Mere class-work did not satisfy him. He was
possessed with throes of spiritual desire, impelling him towards
that world of unfettered speculation which he had long indistinctly
imagined. It was a great thing to learn what the past could teach,
to set himself on the common level of intellectual men; but he
understood that college learning could not be an end in itself,
that the Professors to whom he listened either did not speak out
all that was in their minds, or, if they did, were far from
representing the advanced guard of modern
Similar Books
