Born Liars

Born Liars by Ian Leslie Page A

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Authors: Ian Leslie
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self-regulation and self-censoring. Hearing a question, or just a word, triggers a whole set of associations for the patient. Of course, this happens to all of us – hear the word scar and you too might think about war wounds, old movies, or tales of near-death experiences. But you don’t let all of these random thoughts reach consciousness – and if you do, you don’t articulate them. You self-censor for the sake of truth (I wasn’t in World War II), sense (you can’t be killed and come back to life) and social appropriateness. Chronic confabulators do none of these things. They randomly combine real memories with stray thoughts, wishes and hopes, and summon up a story out of the confusion.
    The wider significance of confabulation is what it tells us about the normal human mind: specifically, it exposes the mind’s gushing stream of invention. We are natural-born fabulists, constantly spinning stories out of our experience and imagination, testing the leash that keeps us tethered to reality. It’s just that, most of the time, we exercise our cerebral censors, exerting control over which stories we tell, to whom – and which we want the hearer to believe. The degree of control exercised, however, can depend on personality, and on the moment.
    * * *
    Mark Howard may have been surprised at the length and detail of Galloway’s extemporisation but he was more than happy to let him continue, because he knew he was lying. In the course of conducting an exhaustive background check on Galloway, Sky’s legal team had discovered that there was not and never had been a Concordia College on St John; there was not, nor ever had been, a Coca-Cola office or facility on the island. Nor was there an airport; it was not possible to fly onto the island. The barcode and stamp on the book Galloway produced marked it as the property of a library in Missouri, near Galloway’s home. A few days after Galloway’s testimony, Howard presented to the court an MBA certificate that his pet schnauzer Lulu had been awarded by Concordia College and University, an unaccredited institution based in Delaware that awards degrees based on ‘Life Experience’. The barrister pointed out that Lulu had managed to achieve a higher mark than Joe Galloway. He also displayed a letter of recommendation written on behalf of Lulu by Concordia College’s president and vice-chancellor.
    Perhaps the most remarkable thing about Joe Galloway’s lying was its unnecessary elaborateness. Once Howard began to ask Galloway about his MBA, Galloway’s best tactic would have been to confess to its origin, since a moment’s reflection would have told him that in a case with such high stakes it was likely that every aspect of his witness statement would be pored over for veracity; a second option would have been to stonewall most of the barrister’s questions by claiming not to remember much about it. Instead, he recalled his year on St John at length and in finely drawn detail. Galloway was exhibiting something that lying experts term ‘duping delight’ – although perhaps his delight lay less in the duping than in the exercise of his own fertile imagination.
    Explaining his decision in favour of Sky, the judge said that the apparent ease and confidence with which Galloway had lied about the MBA had destroyed his entire credibility as a witness, and indicated a propensity to deceit in his business dealings. Lying about an educational qualification was one thing, said the judge, but Galloway had demonstrated something else: ‘an astounding ability to be dishonest’. EDS was ordered to pay Sky over two hundred million pounds.
    * * *
    In the film The Usual Suspects , detectives engage in a desperate search for the mysterious Keyser Söze, a ruthless, violent and brilliant criminal who has acquired a mythical reputation in the underworld. Though his brutal deeds are legion, barely anything is

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