that constantly derided him. She expelled every demon inside him and made him forget the past. With her, he only saw the future.
Zarya was his haven even in this miserable hell.
Staring at himself in the mirror, he despised what he saw there. He always had. All of Arturo’s insults rang in his ears. But the ones that hurt most were from his own mother’s lips.
“You will never be what your father was. You’re just a pititful shadow of him. May the gods help us if you ever inherit.”
He flinched, then pushed those ghosts out of his memory.
Please let tomorrow work out the way it’s supposed to.
Don’t worry, Dar. You’ve been on missions before that went bad and yet turned out fine. Whatever happens, you will adapt and you
will
survive.
For Zarya, he would walk through the fires of hell just to make her smile. And if everything went through tomorrow, he’d make sure she never cried again.
Look on the bright side. Either you’ll succeed tomorrow or you’ll die.
One way or another, he’d finally be free.
3
Darling lay on his “bed” alone, going over all the plans for tomorrow. He mentally checked and rechecked every single second of the day. There were so many details. So many things that could get royally screwed.
It won’t.
He didn’t believe that for a minute, which was why he was making himself insane going over every variable, planning for the unexpected. No matter how ludicrous the thought, he prepared for it.
Even the highly unlikely possibility of a mechanical failure on his fighter.
The link he’d smuggled into his room past his guards vibrated under his hand. He glanced down, then smiled as he saw Zarya’s photo. Now that was enough to reverse even the worst mood. Turning the video output off, he clicked the channel open to see her looking tired, but nonetheless breathtaking. “Hi, beautiful.”
“Hey, sexy. I wasn’t sure you’d be able to pick up.”
Yeah, he didn’t want to think about what Arturo or his guards would do if they found out he had the link with him. The least would be he’d have to postpone his try for freedom by a few days as his body healed. “Only for you.”
She laughed. “I’m so glad you’re not taking fire and that your voice sounds relaxed. What are you doing?”
“Relaxed” was not the word he’d use for himself right now. He was wound tighter than a cat in a dog kennel.
“Wishing I was with you.” Probably not the manliest admission. But then, he’d been pretending to be effeminate for so long that sometimes those lines got blurred. Although to hear Maris berate him, he was never effeminate enough.
“I swear, Darling, you’re way too masculine for your own good. I don’t know how anyone buys the fact that you’re gay. They’d have to be blind or stupid. Both actually.”
But no one had ever guessed the truth.
Except for possibly his friend Caillen’s wife, Desideria. While Desideria hadn’t questioned him about it, he’d caught her looking at him strangely a few times when other women were around, as if she suspected the fact he was straight.
But she was the only one.
And Desideria wasn’t the woman he wanted to think about right now.
That was reserved for an amber-eyed goddess who made his blood catch fire. He traced the line of her cheek on the screen, wishing he could feel her skin under his hand. “Did you eat anything?”
“Why do you always ask me that?”
“Because I know you. You get so wrapped up in other things that you forget all the time. It’s not good for you, you know.”
Her eyes were filled with love. “You’re the only one who’s ever noticed that.”
Only because she lived so deep under his skin that he noticed everything about her and her habits.
Like now. He saw the dark shadow in her eyes and it worried him. “What’s wrong?”
“I just have a bad feeling that I can’t shake.”
“About the Resistance?”
“No. We’re making good strides there. Two of our patrols were able to
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