Luckily he leaves the bathroom quickly, wrapped in a towel. He passes in front of me as if I didn’t exist and starts rummaging through a chest of drawers.
“Uh, Charles? Um, I’m going…”
“Okay. Have a good day.”
14. On the couch
I leave with as much dignity as I can muster. I don’t want to look like I’ve never dealt with a romance before. Lovers? I’ve had tons. We have passionate romances with no tomorrows, and then everyone runs off to work the next morning. I’d love to be that kind of woman. Except I’m not. And now I’ve been crying in the shower now for twenty minutes, I don’t even know why. I’m upset, that’s for sure. To be kicked out so coldly, naked and blindfolded…who wouldn’t be upset?
There’s also the fact that I’ve almost forgotten all of my principles over this insensible man. You can’t call yourself a feminist and at the same time accept priceless gifts while letting yourself be pulled around by the hair like a slave, and that’s what I’ve done. I’m ashamed. I feel like an idiot. And humiliated. And I think I still like him, despite it all. His dimples, his lion’s body, his way of laughing at everything, his passion for things from other eras, his games, his hands, his mouth…Everything about him fascinates me. Even his dark side. That cloud, which suddenly darkens his eyes, it’s not a game. He’s not sadistic, I’m sure of that, he didn’t coldly kick me out this morning just to make fun of me. There’s something going on, I can sense it. But what is it?
“Maybe he’s afraid of commitment?” Manon guesses at the cafeteria.
“I didn’t ask him to move in with me…I didn’t suggest anything to him, he’s the one that started this little game with the sword…”
“Sexy.”
“You’re telling me.”
“Still, I’m confounded! You went from being a frustrated nun to a courtesan in the wink of an eye. I’m almost jealous.”
“Sure, except you’re forgetting how it ends. The minute the courtesan returns to her garret apartment to cry like a baby.”
“Sure. Which brings us to our problem.”
Hey, it’s become ‘our’ problem now…I don’t say anything, since it makes me happy that she’s interested in my personal life. I’d go crazy if I was left alone with all of these doubts. I really need a friend right now.
“Maybe he’s married?”
“My cousin would have told me. Or Elisabeth. Or I would have seen his wife.”
“Unless he’s hiding her in the attic? Or maybe she’s really, really ugly…or really, really old!”
“That’s it…”
“Or widowed? Imagine: since the tragic death of his beloved wife, the inconsolable Charles Delmonte can no longer get emotionally attached to a woman, afraid of suffering once again…
“That’s great, but it doesn’t seem likely. Besides, it’s much too romantic.”
“Romantic? You, the slave of the Cossack, think it’s too romantic?”
I laugh. Analyzing this over a plate of meat in brown sauce does me a lot more good than I would have thought it would.
“If we’re going to be non-romantic, then, we could just say that he’s boring and doesn’t know what he wants. You know, it’s a frequent neurosis among people who have everything.”
I sulk. That would really turn me off. But that’s what I had thought of him before sleeping with him. Maybe I was wrong about him. No!
“I take back what I said! The great Charles Delmonte could never be so boring. All evidence points to a secret wound! Very serious and very secret. Just like the person, naturally.”
“Now that sounds more like it!”
“Or maybe, he’s a werewolf? Or a vampire?” Mathieu adds.
When did he get here? I have no idea. In any case, he also seems to be involved in ‘our’ problem. Alright. At least he’s making me laugh.
“Or the mafia is watching him and swore to kill anyone who he gets close to? Or the Chinese triad?”
“Or he’s a dangerous psychopath being hunted by police all over the
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