Brave by The 12 NAs of Christmas, Zoe Dawson Page B

I’m sure you’ll make something wonderful.
Okay?”
    I
stirred and looked down at her. She was a miracle I wanted to
deserve. “Thank you,” I said softly and she left, closing
the door behind her.
    I
got in the shower, letting the warm water relax everything, heat my
skin, release that hard ball of pain in the pit of my stomach. Some
of what I had experienced with Alissa came pouring back, and it hurt
like blood rushing back to a numb limb.
    I
wanted that. I wanted her. I didn’t know how to find myself to
give to her. I couldn’t see how to put myself back to the way I
was before the blood, before the death, before failure and the
breaking of my vow.
    She’d
loosened something inside me by giving me all that she had given me,
being so open and trusting. Her compassion made me wonder, made a
tiny bit of hope grow in me. It was so, so fragile.
    Covering
my eyes, I sank down and cupped my face with both of my hands, my
hope and despair mingling with the blood from my gash and the warm
water from the shower.

    #

    When
I came out to the kitchen, she rose from the table. Our eyes met and
she smiled. “You look better. Are you better?” she said
it quietly, without a trace of pity or condescension. Then she
frowned and limped over to me. “You’re still bleeding.
Sit down. Where is your amazing case?”
    “Over
there.”
    She
made her way to it, bent over, and rummaged around inside. Finding
what she wanted, she limped back to me.
    “Is
it okay to touch you?”
    I
closed my eyes and nodded. I couldn’t think of anything in this
world that I wanted more.
    Her
fingers were warm as she stroked my temple, brushing away my damp
hair. I kept my eyes closed so I could focus on every nuance of her
closeness. It was hard not to stiffen up. I was so rusty at this. The
long day had taken a pretty big toll, and I was dead on my feet, so I
felt the panic more than I showed.
    I
sensed her move and couldn’t stop the faint groan I made when
she placed her mouth against my temple. The kiss was gentle, almost
sweet, and I felt my heart catch a little when she wove her fingers
into my hair and held my head to apply the bandage.
    “I
could have done that myself, you know,” I said.
    “You
could probably slay dragons bareback. But, I wanted to do it for you.
You’re so tired. Emotionally ragged, as would be expected of
someone who had gone through what you’ve gone through.”
    “Alissa…”
    “It’s
my turn to help you. Let me, please.”
    Those
words sounded so good like an answered prayer. I hadn’t ever
sought help. After I had been rescued, the nightmares and the
flashbacks had driven me out of my home to this place that had become
my prison.
    “Thank
you for what you did on the deck,” I said. “What happened
in the living room…I’m…I’m sorry for that.”
    “Actually,
I’m sorry I woke you up, but I’m not sorry that I kissed
you like that. I’m not sorry I touched you. I’m not sorry
about what happened. I’ve never known passion like that,
Dakota. Never. I’ve never felt more alive than I have here in
this cabin with you. The way you look at me…I can’t
describe it. It’s so…real. So, I hope the hell you’re
talking about the flashback and not what we shared.”
    “That
should have been a mistake.”
    “But,
it wasn’t.”
    “You
don’t even know me.”
    “That’s
not true. I know you carve beautifully, part of my fascination with
your hands. I know that you’d risk your life to save a total
stranger on the edge of a cliff. I know that a woman’s tears
affect you so profoundly that you’d risk your life again. This
time for a silly backpack, without even asking what meaning it has,
only knowing that it has meaning. And, I know that you are a
wonderful healer, with a sometimes-grumpy bedside manner.” She
took a deep breath. “And, I know that you are an amazing
kisser.”
    I
turned to look at her and she smiled at me. Maybe I didn’t have
to find all the pieces. Maybe she was