went onto the deck. The walk to the beach was slow; Lainey wished today would just end. The water was cold at first, but it didn’t matter. Her hands shook as she slowly pulled the petals from the first rose and dropped them into the water.
“I’m so sorry, Becca. I miss you.” She tried to swallow the lump her throat. “I miss you every day. You’re my best friend. Forever.”
Lainey walked out a few feet into the ocean and lay the second rose down. She let the waves pull it in and toss it around. Soon, it belonged to the sea.
Jon found her a few hours later. She was sitting on the sand, her legs pulled up to her chest. The water barely touched her toes as the waves broke onto the sand. He plopped down beside her.
“I hate that the sun is shining,” Lainey whispered. “Nothing is allowed to be happy today.”
Jon didn’t speak. His shoulder pressed against hers, but she didn’t pull away. His touch was comforting.
“Would you like to talk about what happened?” he asked after a long pause.
Lainey nodded, not bothering to wipe the tear tracks from her face. Her gaze didn’t leave the surface of the water as she spoke. “It was just a normal day for us. Becca and I went to swim in the water, pretending we were dolphins or mermaids. We did that every day. A storm was blowing in, and we knew it was gonna be a good one. While we were out in the water, she… she lost her friendship necklace. I had given one half of it to her.” Lainey fingered the small dolphin around her neck. “Her dolphin said ‘friend’. I told her not to worry about it, but Becca said she knew where it had fallen. The storm was coming in so fast. I begged her to come back to the beach but she didn’t listen. She dove under the water.” Lainey paused. “I only saw Becca one more time. She swam to the surface, and she was screaming. Screaming my name. But the current was too strong and it pulled her under again. I’ll never forget the sound of her screaming.”
Lainey put her face in her hands as Jon wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her against his chest. He waited until her sobs lessened a little.
“What happened then?”
“I tried to save her. I called Peter’s cell phone and begged him to help me. He came running down the beach as the rain started to pour. I was in the water, trying not to go in too deep and calling out her name. Becca didn’t surface again. I was hysterical. Peter and our next door neighbor, Ryan, hauled me out of the water, and Peter carried me up to the house. The storm was in full force. Help came, but it was too late. They never… they never even found Becca’s body.”
“I’m so sorry, Lainey,” Jon murmured.
“I should have saved her. I should have gone back into the water or pulled her out with me. I shouldn’t have let her go back for the necklace. It’s my fault.”
Jon shook his head. “It’s not your fault. You’ll keep telling yourself it is for a long time, but it isn’t. Lainey, you didn’t want it to happen, and I’m sorry it did. It’ll take time, but one day you’ll hopefully realize it was meant to happen. I know that isn’t comforting. It’s taken me over ten years to get to that point.”
She wiped at a tear trickling down her cheek. “You lost someone?”
“Yes, I lost someone very close to me. It changed everything. I can’t say it was all good or bad, but I’m learning to live my life.”
Lainey nodded, returning her attention to the waves. “I just wish I could get past being so hurt and upset all the time. I’m tired of my mom, Peter, and Rachel all walking on egg shells around me so they don’t make me cry. I’m sick of it.”
Jon took a deep breath, putting his hands in front of him and resting his forearms on his knees. “We sorrow when people die because we love them. In order to remove the pain, we would have to remove the love. No one wants that. It’s okay to grieve and feel pain, but we have to be able to pick up the pieces
“I’m so sorry, Becca. I miss you.” She tried to swallow the lump her throat. “I miss you every day. You’re my best friend. Forever.”
Lainey walked out a few feet into the ocean and lay the second rose down. She let the waves pull it in and toss it around. Soon, it belonged to the sea.
Jon found her a few hours later. She was sitting on the sand, her legs pulled up to her chest. The water barely touched her toes as the waves broke onto the sand. He plopped down beside her.
“I hate that the sun is shining,” Lainey whispered. “Nothing is allowed to be happy today.”
Jon didn’t speak. His shoulder pressed against hers, but she didn’t pull away. His touch was comforting.
“Would you like to talk about what happened?” he asked after a long pause.
Lainey nodded, not bothering to wipe the tear tracks from her face. Her gaze didn’t leave the surface of the water as she spoke. “It was just a normal day for us. Becca and I went to swim in the water, pretending we were dolphins or mermaids. We did that every day. A storm was blowing in, and we knew it was gonna be a good one. While we were out in the water, she… she lost her friendship necklace. I had given one half of it to her.” Lainey fingered the small dolphin around her neck. “Her dolphin said ‘friend’. I told her not to worry about it, but Becca said she knew where it had fallen. The storm was coming in so fast. I begged her to come back to the beach but she didn’t listen. She dove under the water.” Lainey paused. “I only saw Becca one more time. She swam to the surface, and she was screaming. Screaming my name. But the current was too strong and it pulled her under again. I’ll never forget the sound of her screaming.”
Lainey put her face in her hands as Jon wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her against his chest. He waited until her sobs lessened a little.
“What happened then?”
“I tried to save her. I called Peter’s cell phone and begged him to help me. He came running down the beach as the rain started to pour. I was in the water, trying not to go in too deep and calling out her name. Becca didn’t surface again. I was hysterical. Peter and our next door neighbor, Ryan, hauled me out of the water, and Peter carried me up to the house. The storm was in full force. Help came, but it was too late. They never… they never even found Becca’s body.”
“I’m so sorry, Lainey,” Jon murmured.
“I should have saved her. I should have gone back into the water or pulled her out with me. I shouldn’t have let her go back for the necklace. It’s my fault.”
Jon shook his head. “It’s not your fault. You’ll keep telling yourself it is for a long time, but it isn’t. Lainey, you didn’t want it to happen, and I’m sorry it did. It’ll take time, but one day you’ll hopefully realize it was meant to happen. I know that isn’t comforting. It’s taken me over ten years to get to that point.”
She wiped at a tear trickling down her cheek. “You lost someone?”
“Yes, I lost someone very close to me. It changed everything. I can’t say it was all good or bad, but I’m learning to live my life.”
Lainey nodded, returning her attention to the waves. “I just wish I could get past being so hurt and upset all the time. I’m tired of my mom, Peter, and Rachel all walking on egg shells around me so they don’t make me cry. I’m sick of it.”
Jon took a deep breath, putting his hands in front of him and resting his forearms on his knees. “We sorrow when people die because we love them. In order to remove the pain, we would have to remove the love. No one wants that. It’s okay to grieve and feel pain, but we have to be able to pick up the pieces
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