when you do boring sucking thumb stuff.’
So that’s the problem. (You know how all stories have a problem? Well that is the problem for this story.) Biddy wants to find a silly human friend and I want her to play with me––her already best friend.
Shall I tell you that story? Okay. Wait— I have to start it properly… I’ll just stand up here on the top of Biddy’s head like a real storyteller.
Are you listening?
‘Long ago, before the dawn of time…’
No, I can’t say that because it is happening right now…
‘One day,’ I start again, ‘there was a little girl called Biddy. Her evil parents had locked her in a bedroom prison. Biddy was so sad. But her invisible friend (that’s me)…’
‘Am I boring?’ Biddy interrupts. ‘Is that why I haven’t got a best friend?’
‘Shh, Biddy,’ I say. ‘I’m telling a story.’
‘If I was a pirate I wouldn’t be boring,’ Biddy says, jumping off her bed.
‘Biddy, stay still,’ I yell. But it’s too late. She is running and I’m slipping. I grab a handful of hair and swing out behind her. ‘Wait,’ I yell. ‘You are getting into the story without me.’
Chapter one
pirates and pigsties
‘I need a pirate costume,’ Biddy says, tipping over her toy box and rummaging through the toys. ‘Ah-ha! My dagger!’ She spins around with her dagger in her hand, threatening all the other pirates on the pirate ship. ‘Now, where is my pirate hat?’
‘ Craaark! ’ I yell. A pirate’s best friend is a parrot. So I’m on Biddy’s shoulder being her best pirate parrot friend.
‘ Ahh-ha! ’ Biddy snarls. She runs to her cupboard, pulls out a drawer and grabs a hat. It is white with pink flowers. It is not very piratey.
‘ Nah! ’ Biddy says, throwing the hat over her shoulder.
She pulls out a green cap. ‘Nah!’
An orange one. ‘Nah!’
Finally she pulls out the drawer and tips it upside down.
‘ Craaark! That one!’ I say, pointing with my beak to a purple sun hat.
She puts it on, turns up the edges and runs to her mirror. ‘That’s better,’ Biddy says. ‘Now I need a one-eye.’ She grabs a headband and wraps it around her head so it covers one eye.
‘ Aarrr! ’ she growls into the mirror, holding her dagger up like a fierce pirate. She looks a tiny bit like a pirate.
‘I am the Captain Brigitte Loos,’ she yells into the mirror. ‘The fiercest captain on all of the vast oceans. My best friend is Princess Isolde who lives in a castle on the sheer black cliffs of Bittangabee Bay.
‘I have killed the giant sea dragon and stolen his treasure .’ Biddy walks to her new bunk beds. ‘I am taking the treasure in my ship to my friend Princess Isolde.’ She climbs to the top bunk, pulls out her imaginary telescope and looks out to the horizon.
‘ Land ahoy! ’ I yell in a pirate parrot voice, pointing out the window with my wing.
‘Land ahoy!’ Biddy yells. ‘All hands on deck!’ she tells her pirate crew.
‘See, Biddy,’ I say. ‘We don’t need a silly human friend.’
Suddenly the door opens. ‘What is all this noise about?’ Mum asks.
‘No!’ I yell. ‘Don’t interrupt us now. This is the first fun we’ve had all year.’
Mum looks into Biddy’s room. She sees the clothes flung about, the drawers upside down, the toys and games all over the floor. ‘Brigid Lucy,’ she says. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Biddy’s naughty, hey, Mum?’ Miss Getting-All-The-Attention Matilda says. ‘I am not,’ Biddy says. ‘I was just practising to be a best friend pirate.’
‘Brigid, I asked you to play quietly and look what you have done,’ Mum says. ‘This room is a pigsty .’
‘It is not a pigsty,’ Biddy says. ‘Pigsties have mud, pigs and…’ and for a moment she can’t think what else pigsties have. Then she remembers, ‘… and they have lots of stinky, pooie piggy smells.’
‘Stop-arguing,’ Mum says. And, ‘Clean-up-this-room.’ She tries to bend down to pick up a toy but
So that’s the problem. (You know how all stories have a problem? Well that is the problem for this story.) Biddy wants to find a silly human friend and I want her to play with me––her already best friend.
Shall I tell you that story? Okay. Wait— I have to start it properly… I’ll just stand up here on the top of Biddy’s head like a real storyteller.
Are you listening?
‘Long ago, before the dawn of time…’
No, I can’t say that because it is happening right now…
‘One day,’ I start again, ‘there was a little girl called Biddy. Her evil parents had locked her in a bedroom prison. Biddy was so sad. But her invisible friend (that’s me)…’
‘Am I boring?’ Biddy interrupts. ‘Is that why I haven’t got a best friend?’
‘Shh, Biddy,’ I say. ‘I’m telling a story.’
‘If I was a pirate I wouldn’t be boring,’ Biddy says, jumping off her bed.
‘Biddy, stay still,’ I yell. But it’s too late. She is running and I’m slipping. I grab a handful of hair and swing out behind her. ‘Wait,’ I yell. ‘You are getting into the story without me.’
Chapter one
pirates and pigsties
‘I need a pirate costume,’ Biddy says, tipping over her toy box and rummaging through the toys. ‘Ah-ha! My dagger!’ She spins around with her dagger in her hand, threatening all the other pirates on the pirate ship. ‘Now, where is my pirate hat?’
‘ Craaark! ’ I yell. A pirate’s best friend is a parrot. So I’m on Biddy’s shoulder being her best pirate parrot friend.
‘ Ahh-ha! ’ Biddy snarls. She runs to her cupboard, pulls out a drawer and grabs a hat. It is white with pink flowers. It is not very piratey.
‘ Nah! ’ Biddy says, throwing the hat over her shoulder.
She pulls out a green cap. ‘Nah!’
An orange one. ‘Nah!’
Finally she pulls out the drawer and tips it upside down.
‘ Craaark! That one!’ I say, pointing with my beak to a purple sun hat.
She puts it on, turns up the edges and runs to her mirror. ‘That’s better,’ Biddy says. ‘Now I need a one-eye.’ She grabs a headband and wraps it around her head so it covers one eye.
‘ Aarrr! ’ she growls into the mirror, holding her dagger up like a fierce pirate. She looks a tiny bit like a pirate.
‘I am the Captain Brigitte Loos,’ she yells into the mirror. ‘The fiercest captain on all of the vast oceans. My best friend is Princess Isolde who lives in a castle on the sheer black cliffs of Bittangabee Bay.
‘I have killed the giant sea dragon and stolen his treasure .’ Biddy walks to her new bunk beds. ‘I am taking the treasure in my ship to my friend Princess Isolde.’ She climbs to the top bunk, pulls out her imaginary telescope and looks out to the horizon.
‘ Land ahoy! ’ I yell in a pirate parrot voice, pointing out the window with my wing.
‘Land ahoy!’ Biddy yells. ‘All hands on deck!’ she tells her pirate crew.
‘See, Biddy,’ I say. ‘We don’t need a silly human friend.’
Suddenly the door opens. ‘What is all this noise about?’ Mum asks.
‘No!’ I yell. ‘Don’t interrupt us now. This is the first fun we’ve had all year.’
Mum looks into Biddy’s room. She sees the clothes flung about, the drawers upside down, the toys and games all over the floor. ‘Brigid Lucy,’ she says. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Biddy’s naughty, hey, Mum?’ Miss Getting-All-The-Attention Matilda says. ‘I am not,’ Biddy says. ‘I was just practising to be a best friend pirate.’
‘Brigid, I asked you to play quietly and look what you have done,’ Mum says. ‘This room is a pigsty .’
‘It is not a pigsty,’ Biddy says. ‘Pigsties have mud, pigs and…’ and for a moment she can’t think what else pigsties have. Then she remembers, ‘… and they have lots of stinky, pooie piggy smells.’
‘Stop-arguing,’ Mum says. And, ‘Clean-up-this-room.’ She tries to bend down to pick up a toy but
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