the first time he’s ever raised his voice so it scared the
hell out of me. Angry Caleb is not a good Caleb.
I remember how much pain I felt
when he said he couldn’t deal with this anymore and threw his plate
of food across the kitchen. What couldn’t he deal with anymore? His
parents? Me? Us? The house? The lack of money? He never did tell
me, he just told me to drop it which was totally unlike him.
I started crying and instantly
he sobered. He stopped being angry and just held me, begging me not
to cry. Telling me it breaks his heart when I cry.
And now, he sees my anguish but
does nothing. Screw him.
I stomp up the stairs, my eyes
burning even though my tears are spilling over. I try not to think
about it too much, he’ll forgive me I know he will. At least… I
hope he will. Now is not the right time for a baby.
I’m shocked when I hear him
follow me up the stairs, clearly he has something on his mind that
wants out. Maybe we can resolve this.
I sit on the bed and wait for
him to reach me. When he does he stands in the doorframe just
staring at me, his eyes blank. I can’t read him at all.
“ Why are you
doing this?” He asks suddenly, his brows scrunching.
“ Because it’s
the wrong time. I’d like it if you came with me,” I say, my sorrow
clear.
“ No.” He
bites out through clenched teeth. “I won’t.”
“ Babe…”
“ If you do
this…” He stops speaking and straightens abruptly while his fingers
run through his hair. He looks devastated. It hurts me deep. Too
deep.
“ Yes?” I
prompt, not wanting him to finish his sentence but knowing he
should.
“ I’ll never
forgive you,” my chest constricts at his words. “Never.”
“ Caleb,” I
gasp, my hand going to my chest, as if trying to shield it from his
emotional blows. “You don’t mean that.”
“ It’s ours,”
he shouts. “It’s half mine. I should get to decide.”
“ We’re not
ready,” I shout back. “I want to finish my education and buy a
house first.”
“ We’ll figure
it out,” he says, his voice almost pleading. “Together we’ll figure
it out. I’ll ask my parents to help with childcare.”
I laugh coldly, “You mean the
parents that disowned you for staying with me? Why would they
help?”
He winces, “They’ll help. I’ll
just go into work for my dad.”
“ The reason
you left home in the first place was to avoid working with your
dad, how is this a better option? You’ll end up resenting us,” I
reach for him but he steps away. “We have a lot of student loans to
pay off and the first year of work neither of us will be bringing
in much money. They’re just placements. There’s no guarantee
they’ll keep us and they definitely won’t keep me if I’m
pregnant.”
“ We’ll make
it work. You’ll see. It’ll all be fine.”
“ You’re
living in a dream world. We have no money, no family. It’s just
us.” I say this firmly.
“ I’ll drop
out, I’ll go back to University in a couple of years,” he grips my
arms. “We’ll make it work.”
“ It’ll be too
hard.”
“ I want this
baby. I want a baby with you.”
I scoff. “You don’t think I
want that? Of course I do. Just not now!”
“ So you’ve
made up your mind then?” He spits, his face a mask of anger and
hurt. “Without even listening to what I want?”
“ What about
what I want? What I need?”
“ Fine,” he
snarls, I’ve never seen him so angry, he’s even angrier than the
time he smashed the plate. He rages past me, his body tense and
trembling. My heart stops when I see him packing his things into a
large suitcase that he’s just pulled from under the bed.
“ W…what are
you doing Caleb?” My heavy heart stops entirely when he looks at me
and replies, “I can’t stay here.”
“ Why?” Panic
at full throttle. I think I’m dying. My body hurts.
“ I can’t
watch you kill our baby.” That stings.
I blink in horror, “You’re
leaving me?”
“ Yes.” My
chest
hell out of me. Angry Caleb is not a good Caleb.
I remember how much pain I felt
when he said he couldn’t deal with this anymore and threw his plate
of food across the kitchen. What couldn’t he deal with anymore? His
parents? Me? Us? The house? The lack of money? He never did tell
me, he just told me to drop it which was totally unlike him.
I started crying and instantly
he sobered. He stopped being angry and just held me, begging me not
to cry. Telling me it breaks his heart when I cry.
And now, he sees my anguish but
does nothing. Screw him.
I stomp up the stairs, my eyes
burning even though my tears are spilling over. I try not to think
about it too much, he’ll forgive me I know he will. At least… I
hope he will. Now is not the right time for a baby.
I’m shocked when I hear him
follow me up the stairs, clearly he has something on his mind that
wants out. Maybe we can resolve this.
I sit on the bed and wait for
him to reach me. When he does he stands in the doorframe just
staring at me, his eyes blank. I can’t read him at all.
“ Why are you
doing this?” He asks suddenly, his brows scrunching.
“ Because it’s
the wrong time. I’d like it if you came with me,” I say, my sorrow
clear.
“ No.” He
bites out through clenched teeth. “I won’t.”
“ Babe…”
“ If you do
this…” He stops speaking and straightens abruptly while his fingers
run through his hair. He looks devastated. It hurts me deep. Too
deep.
“ Yes?” I
prompt, not wanting him to finish his sentence but knowing he
should.
“ I’ll never
forgive you,” my chest constricts at his words. “Never.”
“ Caleb,” I
gasp, my hand going to my chest, as if trying to shield it from his
emotional blows. “You don’t mean that.”
“ It’s ours,”
he shouts. “It’s half mine. I should get to decide.”
“ We’re not
ready,” I shout back. “I want to finish my education and buy a
house first.”
“ We’ll figure
it out,” he says, his voice almost pleading. “Together we’ll figure
it out. I’ll ask my parents to help with childcare.”
I laugh coldly, “You mean the
parents that disowned you for staying with me? Why would they
help?”
He winces, “They’ll help. I’ll
just go into work for my dad.”
“ The reason
you left home in the first place was to avoid working with your
dad, how is this a better option? You’ll end up resenting us,” I
reach for him but he steps away. “We have a lot of student loans to
pay off and the first year of work neither of us will be bringing
in much money. They’re just placements. There’s no guarantee
they’ll keep us and they definitely won’t keep me if I’m
pregnant.”
“ We’ll make
it work. You’ll see. It’ll all be fine.”
“ You’re
living in a dream world. We have no money, no family. It’s just
us.” I say this firmly.
“ I’ll drop
out, I’ll go back to University in a couple of years,” he grips my
arms. “We’ll make it work.”
“ It’ll be too
hard.”
“ I want this
baby. I want a baby with you.”
I scoff. “You don’t think I
want that? Of course I do. Just not now!”
“ So you’ve
made up your mind then?” He spits, his face a mask of anger and
hurt. “Without even listening to what I want?”
“ What about
what I want? What I need?”
“ Fine,” he
snarls, I’ve never seen him so angry, he’s even angrier than the
time he smashed the plate. He rages past me, his body tense and
trembling. My heart stops when I see him packing his things into a
large suitcase that he’s just pulled from under the bed.
“ W…what are
you doing Caleb?” My heavy heart stops entirely when he looks at me
and replies, “I can’t stay here.”
“ Why?” Panic
at full throttle. I think I’m dying. My body hurts.
“ I can’t
watch you kill our baby.” That stings.
I blink in horror, “You’re
leaving me?”
“ Yes.” My
chest
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