raised.”
Ruggles got up and gave him a bottle of water and a glass. “You want something stronger?”
“How about a shot of liquid Valium?” Ruggles raised his forest of eyebrow hair as if to say, “If you need it …” Moses realized he could in fact give it to him. “No, just kidding.”
Ruggles struggled to formulate his words. “This situation has placed me in the most tenuous professional and ethical position. I hate to be the bearer of such an inconceivable”—he paused—“revelation. What I can’t even presume is if she was told you were stillborn by her adoptive parents or if she was told the truth but doesn’t believe it because the process was so traumatic. She is highly, highly sensitive and alternately elastic and brittle.”
“Did you believe I was dead?”
“We had no reason not to. The Bickleys never informed me until two days ago, and there was no mention of you in the trust, as there is of Alchemy.”
“Is my death part of her delusion?”
“Possibly, yes. With Salome, one never knows. She does not accept ‘psychology’ as existing in the remotest realm of science.”
“Is she sane?”
“That’s a definition question. One’s psychological state is based on a cluster of disparate symptoms that, no matter what any authority claims, we don’t really understand. Thomas Szasz made some good arguments, but mental illness is
no
myth. Salome’s received many reductive diagnoses over the years, ‘severe dissociative disorder,’ ‘depersonalization disorder,’ ‘dissociative fugue,’ ‘dissociative amnesia,’ ‘identity disorder,’ and simple schizophrenia. At first, she was accused of faking to escape arrest for her violent actions. If so, she is an even better actress than her mother.”
Moses’s head tilted forward quizzically.
Ruggles shook his head. “I’m sorry. I should not have said that. In Salome’s first visit here in 1976, the doctors treated her and others with insulin therapy and a primitive form of electroshock, which repulses me.” Ruggles stopped himself, refocused, and continued. “Sorry, I’ve been both too technical and veering off course. As I say, it is difficult for me to make a reductive classification for her. We have adjusted her drug regimen. She certainly has a keen memory when she wants to. The ECT caused some retrograde amnesia and anterograde memory loss, but it has not been significant. She functioned for many years, broke down, and then functioned again. Her accomplishments as an artist are well documented. I believe she can function again. She’s only fifty-seven and physically in excellent health.” Moses did a quick calculation and realized Salome must have been fourteen or fifteen when she had given birth to him. “Right now, with Alchemy being away and Nathaniel Brockton’s physical constraints, her risk of another traumatic …” Ruggles waved his hand and pointed towardsome unknown beyond. “Alchemy, not the Bickleys, is now her guardian and her anchor.”
“Where is he?”
“At a Zen monastery in New Mexico. He’s in the middle of a three-month retreat. It was communicated to him that she is back here, but he’s taken a vow of silence, which I suggest you interrupt immediately.”
“I’m inclined to agree. Let me think about it overnight.”
“The question arises: Should you meet and be introduced to Salome now? Should I tell her? I am at a loss. In all the years I’ve been practicing, and I have experience with extreme and rare cases, never before have I encountered such a conundrum. If you want to meet her, I’ll need at least a few days to prepare myself. And her.” Ruggles rubbed the mole on his cheek with his right index finger and shook his head as if to acknowledge,
You don’t have the time
.
“Meet her? Maybe. No. I think I’ll find Alchemy, and then, who knows? I need to avoid any more blows until, well, things are clearer. I’m not sure it is best for her. Or me. Can I
see
her and
Ruggles got up and gave him a bottle of water and a glass. “You want something stronger?”
“How about a shot of liquid Valium?” Ruggles raised his forest of eyebrow hair as if to say, “If you need it …” Moses realized he could in fact give it to him. “No, just kidding.”
Ruggles struggled to formulate his words. “This situation has placed me in the most tenuous professional and ethical position. I hate to be the bearer of such an inconceivable”—he paused—“revelation. What I can’t even presume is if she was told you were stillborn by her adoptive parents or if she was told the truth but doesn’t believe it because the process was so traumatic. She is highly, highly sensitive and alternately elastic and brittle.”
“Did you believe I was dead?”
“We had no reason not to. The Bickleys never informed me until two days ago, and there was no mention of you in the trust, as there is of Alchemy.”
“Is my death part of her delusion?”
“Possibly, yes. With Salome, one never knows. She does not accept ‘psychology’ as existing in the remotest realm of science.”
“Is she sane?”
“That’s a definition question. One’s psychological state is based on a cluster of disparate symptoms that, no matter what any authority claims, we don’t really understand. Thomas Szasz made some good arguments, but mental illness is
no
myth. Salome’s received many reductive diagnoses over the years, ‘severe dissociative disorder,’ ‘depersonalization disorder,’ ‘dissociative fugue,’ ‘dissociative amnesia,’ ‘identity disorder,’ and simple schizophrenia. At first, she was accused of faking to escape arrest for her violent actions. If so, she is an even better actress than her mother.”
Moses’s head tilted forward quizzically.
Ruggles shook his head. “I’m sorry. I should not have said that. In Salome’s first visit here in 1976, the doctors treated her and others with insulin therapy and a primitive form of electroshock, which repulses me.” Ruggles stopped himself, refocused, and continued. “Sorry, I’ve been both too technical and veering off course. As I say, it is difficult for me to make a reductive classification for her. We have adjusted her drug regimen. She certainly has a keen memory when she wants to. The ECT caused some retrograde amnesia and anterograde memory loss, but it has not been significant. She functioned for many years, broke down, and then functioned again. Her accomplishments as an artist are well documented. I believe she can function again. She’s only fifty-seven and physically in excellent health.” Moses did a quick calculation and realized Salome must have been fourteen or fifteen when she had given birth to him. “Right now, with Alchemy being away and Nathaniel Brockton’s physical constraints, her risk of another traumatic …” Ruggles waved his hand and pointed towardsome unknown beyond. “Alchemy, not the Bickleys, is now her guardian and her anchor.”
“Where is he?”
“At a Zen monastery in New Mexico. He’s in the middle of a three-month retreat. It was communicated to him that she is back here, but he’s taken a vow of silence, which I suggest you interrupt immediately.”
“I’m inclined to agree. Let me think about it overnight.”
“The question arises: Should you meet and be introduced to Salome now? Should I tell her? I am at a loss. In all the years I’ve been practicing, and I have experience with extreme and rare cases, never before have I encountered such a conundrum. If you want to meet her, I’ll need at least a few days to prepare myself. And her.” Ruggles rubbed the mole on his cheek with his right index finger and shook his head as if to acknowledge,
You don’t have the time
.
“Meet her? Maybe. No. I think I’ll find Alchemy, and then, who knows? I need to avoid any more blows until, well, things are clearer. I’m not sure it is best for her. Or me. Can I
see
her and
Similar Books
