BWWM Interracial Romance 3: Family Heart by Elena Brown Page A

shrugged.
    “I don’t know. What’s going on with you?” Rosanna sighed.
    “Home alone. Feeling lonely. Since we’ve both struck out on romance tonight, wanna come over, have a couple of beers?” Logan hesitated. He scrubbed at his face. He knew that there was nothing really wrong with visiting his ex-wife—they had a child together, they needed to get along, at least a little bit—but he felt guilty nonetheless. But Jessica had canceled on him; and it wasn’t as though he was going to do anything other than have a couple of beers and talk. “I made your favorite casserole,” Rosanna added, her voice wheedling.
    “I’ll be over in a little while. I need to grab a shower.”
     
    Jessica looked at her phone for a long moment after she hung up, fighting the urge to call Logan back and take back what she had said. She hadn’t wanted to cancel on their date, but as the day had gone on, she’d found herself feeling more and more uncertain about the date; she found herself dreading seeing him. She was consumed with guilt she couldn’t quite shake over the fact that she was so deeply in love with Logan—and she couldn’t make herself stop thinking of the beautiful woman that Logan had divorced, the fact that he hadn’t even talked to her about meeting his son, or what their future might be. She didn’t want to break up with him, but she couldn’t bring herself to go out with Logan when she was feeling so miserable.
    It isn’t his fault, she thought dully, pushing the phone away and curling up in her bed. She knew it wasn’t. Her insecurity, her guilt and grief, were all in her own mind. Since she had started dating Logan, Jessica had been spending fewer nights working overtime; she had more time to herself, and more time to think. In spite of the fact that she felt more and more strongly for Logan every day, she couldn’t forget Evan, and what they could have had together. If Evan hadn’t died, would they have gotten engaged? Would she be planning her wedding—the way her younger sister was doing? She might even have gotten pregnant. Jessica hadn’t been ready for any of those things when Evan had been ripped out of her life by the accident, but once he was gone, the only thing she could think about was how much of a comfort it would have been to have had something of him—something more than the sweater he’d left in her room, the jewelry he’d given her, material possessions that reminded her of him but which didn’t have his soul, his spark.
    When she and Logan had reached the two month mark, Jessica had tried to throw away the things she’d had of Evan’s, reasoning that the only way she could really commit herself to Logan would be to remove all reminders of the man she had loved before. She had gathered up all of the things that Evan had left behind in her life, put them in a box… but she hadn’t been able to make herself get rid of them. Even without the spark of Evan’s life in them, they were the only things she had to show for the relationship that had made her so happy. Her mother had suggested putting them in the attic, waiting for distance and time to do the work. “If you can go a few months without thinking about them, without missing them in your room, then you’ll know you’re ready to get rid of them for good.” Gail had even offered to take them from Jessica’s house herself, to donate what could be used by someone else and throw everything else away without Jessica having to be the one to make the final call. The box had gone to the attic, but Jessica had remained aware of it up there, like poking a bruise that wouldn’t quite fade.
    Jessica reached out blindly for her phone, thinking to call Logan. She knew she shouldn’t be alone; even if she didn’t go out to the museum opening, she could invite Logan over and she knew that he would hold her, cuddle with her, even bring her food—he wouldn’t ask any questions about why she had canceled, and he would talk to her