I got the chance to know what it’s like,” Dustin replied with a smile. “I think I’ll always appreciate it.”
Vince pointed ahead of them toward a hill overlooking most of the property. “We’re going up there,” he explained, trying to lighten the subject.
“What’s up there?” Dustin asked.
“A cabin, like the ones you guys live in, but without heat or plumbing. Used to be Mom’s special quiet place where she’d spend time writing. She’d ride up there and write poems all afternoon, especially as she got sicker. Mandy or I would go with her then, to make sure she was okay. Never Dad. She said she was enough of a burden to him at all other times of the day. But Mandy and I would do our homework with her or work on the garden we built just for her.”
“So you still use it?” Dustin questioned cautiously.
Vince nodded. “Dad didn’t want it to fall apart, because that’s not what Mom would have wanted. It doesn’t get used much now, but it’s nice to have it there for her. Mandy used to keep the garden nice all summer. Not sure what’ll happen now that she’s living an hour away with Jeff. I go out every few weeks and make sure the animals don’t start calling it home. Even in the winter. There’s a little corral for the horses, too.”
“It just sits there looking habitable but not being used most of the time?”
Vince shrugged. “Basically. Sometimes when I need to relax, I take Xander and move up there for a few days. Took Jane there for a weekend once. It’s mainly one of those things you don’t really need but you keep for sentimental reasons. It doesn’t take much to maintain, just some roof tiles each year and some pest-repellants. And whatever Mandy does for the garden. Water only when we use it for the horses.”
Dustin looked at him curiously. “No bathroom?”
“That’s the part I personally don’t care for,” Vince replied with half a smile. “The stupid outhouse. And if you stay there a couple of days, you’re forced by your own grossness to either come back or take a hose bath.”
“Better than what I had for a while,” Dustin commented.
Vince suddenly realized what he’d said. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “That was—”
“It’s fine,” Dustin assured him. “If I don’t joke about it, I’ll never be okay. I know what it’s like to wish you could take a long, hot shower. If you don’t remember, it’s practically the first thing I did when I got here.”
Vince had to laugh. “I thought I was going to melt when I dropped your clothes off. I didn’t realize that little shower could generate that much steam.”
Dustin laughed, too. “It was the best shower I have ever had.”
Vince let his smile fade. “This might not be okay to ask, so you don’t have to answer… I was just wondering; how did you survive being homeless for two years?”
“By doing a lot of things I’m not proud of,” Dustin replied quietly, not looking at him. “I stole things when I had to. Let myself be raped when I had to. Ate out of trashcans. Drank filthy water. Things I had to do to survive.”
“You didn’t have to answer,” Vince told him, stunned and deeply disturbed. “Jesus. What about the homeless shelters?”
Dustin shrugged. “I stayed in a couple for a few days. But I felt confined, that I’d rather be on the streets. Plus the workers there are always asking questions, trying to catch runaways and get them back to their families. The only thing I am proud of is not taking up drugs or drinking. When I couldn’t stand living like that anymore, I moved out into the woods.”
“How did you live out there all winter?”
“I stole two tarps from someone’s backyard. Used those and a bunch of tree branches and dirt to build a shelter, used snow to reinforce it when it started. Stole food from a store down the road—mainly nuts. I felt like a fucking squirrel. I also got as many packages of hand warmers as I possibly could, whenever I could.
Vince pointed ahead of them toward a hill overlooking most of the property. “We’re going up there,” he explained, trying to lighten the subject.
“What’s up there?” Dustin asked.
“A cabin, like the ones you guys live in, but without heat or plumbing. Used to be Mom’s special quiet place where she’d spend time writing. She’d ride up there and write poems all afternoon, especially as she got sicker. Mandy or I would go with her then, to make sure she was okay. Never Dad. She said she was enough of a burden to him at all other times of the day. But Mandy and I would do our homework with her or work on the garden we built just for her.”
“So you still use it?” Dustin questioned cautiously.
Vince nodded. “Dad didn’t want it to fall apart, because that’s not what Mom would have wanted. It doesn’t get used much now, but it’s nice to have it there for her. Mandy used to keep the garden nice all summer. Not sure what’ll happen now that she’s living an hour away with Jeff. I go out every few weeks and make sure the animals don’t start calling it home. Even in the winter. There’s a little corral for the horses, too.”
“It just sits there looking habitable but not being used most of the time?”
Vince shrugged. “Basically. Sometimes when I need to relax, I take Xander and move up there for a few days. Took Jane there for a weekend once. It’s mainly one of those things you don’t really need but you keep for sentimental reasons. It doesn’t take much to maintain, just some roof tiles each year and some pest-repellants. And whatever Mandy does for the garden. Water only when we use it for the horses.”
Dustin looked at him curiously. “No bathroom?”
“That’s the part I personally don’t care for,” Vince replied with half a smile. “The stupid outhouse. And if you stay there a couple of days, you’re forced by your own grossness to either come back or take a hose bath.”
“Better than what I had for a while,” Dustin commented.
Vince suddenly realized what he’d said. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “That was—”
“It’s fine,” Dustin assured him. “If I don’t joke about it, I’ll never be okay. I know what it’s like to wish you could take a long, hot shower. If you don’t remember, it’s practically the first thing I did when I got here.”
Vince had to laugh. “I thought I was going to melt when I dropped your clothes off. I didn’t realize that little shower could generate that much steam.”
Dustin laughed, too. “It was the best shower I have ever had.”
Vince let his smile fade. “This might not be okay to ask, so you don’t have to answer… I was just wondering; how did you survive being homeless for two years?”
“By doing a lot of things I’m not proud of,” Dustin replied quietly, not looking at him. “I stole things when I had to. Let myself be raped when I had to. Ate out of trashcans. Drank filthy water. Things I had to do to survive.”
“You didn’t have to answer,” Vince told him, stunned and deeply disturbed. “Jesus. What about the homeless shelters?”
Dustin shrugged. “I stayed in a couple for a few days. But I felt confined, that I’d rather be on the streets. Plus the workers there are always asking questions, trying to catch runaways and get them back to their families. The only thing I am proud of is not taking up drugs or drinking. When I couldn’t stand living like that anymore, I moved out into the woods.”
“How did you live out there all winter?”
“I stole two tarps from someone’s backyard. Used those and a bunch of tree branches and dirt to build a shelter, used snow to reinforce it when it started. Stole food from a store down the road—mainly nuts. I felt like a fucking squirrel. I also got as many packages of hand warmers as I possibly could, whenever I could.
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