dead? It seemed as if he were in an awful dream, one that he desperately wanted to wake up from. But he knew the relief of morning would never come to him or to anyone in his family. This was no nightmare. He would never wake up. Agnes was gone and she would never come back.
Marion walked to where John stood. She placed her arm around him to steady herself and also to comfort him. “Momma, I can't stay here anymore,” He cried. “I have to go.”
“Don't do this to me. Not now, not tonight.”
“I promised Aggie I wouldn't cause you any trouble with Nathan. But I can't keep that promise if I stay here. I'll fight him, I know I will and that would just kill me!”
“Wait. You promised me that you would wait until you were fifteen. What about your promise to me?”
“Momma, I'll be fifteen in two months. You have to let me go!”
“I know. I know, John. Give me time to get over this, then you can go.”
“I will. Thank you, Momma. I love you so much! I'm so sorry about Aggie. I'm so very sorry!” He sank, weeping into his mother's comforting arms.
Over the next gloomy days they all tried to come to terms with their tragic loss. Daniel Jr. came home for the week with his wife, son and baby daughter. The joy of spending time with them all, helped soften the terrible blow for Marion. But there was a lingering bitterness that would not leave. A bitterness that emerged whenever she looked at Sarah. She didn't want it to be there, Sarah had meant so much to her, but Agnes was her blood child and she had been murdered by Indians. This same savage blood ran through Sarah's veins. Sweet Agnes had been murdered by Sarah's people . When she looked at the child she didn't see her lovely adopted daughter, she saw Indian savages snuffing out the life of one of her own! In her own private battle she tried to overcome these feelings. Nathan made this task as hard as he possibly could for her. He seemed determined to use this grievous loss to forward his own hate against Sarah.
John constantly bit his tongue and she knew it was because he felt he had to keep his promises to both Agnes and her.
A few days had passed when Daniel joined Marion beside the graves of Matthew and the Indian woman. As he placed his hand on her shoulder she quietly sobbed, “I don't know what to do.”
“The sadness will pass.”
“The sadness isn't what bothers me, it's the hate. I've never had hate like this and it scares me. I love Sarah, but every time I look at her all I can see is Agnes suffering and dying. Why did this happen to us?” She began to weep. “We've always tried to live right. We've always helped people and loved everyone. We ignored the danger and took in an Indian orphan. This is how we're repaid? Our own daughter's life snuffed out before she's had a chance to really live it! Why?” Marion cried out as she dropped to her knees and pounded her fists on the grave of the Indian woman. “Why! Why! Why!”
“Stop it!” Daniel took her by her arm and lifted her from the ground and looked deeply into her large brown eyes. “It wasn't these Indians, it was renegades. You can't blame all for what some do, you taught me that, remember? Evil is not confined to one race. Sarah is one of the good ones and she's our daughter.”
Marion buried her face in Daniel's broad chest as she wept. “Help me. Please help me not to hate them all!” But it was too late, the seed of bitterness had taken root.
Chapter Five
* * * *
John turned fifteen. With his birthday came a great feeling of freedom and also the frightening realization that he was now free to live on his own and be fully responsible for himself. He had done it, he'd made it through without responding to any of Nathan's provoking comments against him or Sarah. There had been times when he'd almost succumbed to his fiery temper. It was time he left home to begin making his own way. With a bit of sadness he packed his bags and said goodbye to his family. It was Sarah who
Marion walked to where John stood. She placed her arm around him to steady herself and also to comfort him. “Momma, I can't stay here anymore,” He cried. “I have to go.”
“Don't do this to me. Not now, not tonight.”
“I promised Aggie I wouldn't cause you any trouble with Nathan. But I can't keep that promise if I stay here. I'll fight him, I know I will and that would just kill me!”
“Wait. You promised me that you would wait until you were fifteen. What about your promise to me?”
“Momma, I'll be fifteen in two months. You have to let me go!”
“I know. I know, John. Give me time to get over this, then you can go.”
“I will. Thank you, Momma. I love you so much! I'm so sorry about Aggie. I'm so very sorry!” He sank, weeping into his mother's comforting arms.
Over the next gloomy days they all tried to come to terms with their tragic loss. Daniel Jr. came home for the week with his wife, son and baby daughter. The joy of spending time with them all, helped soften the terrible blow for Marion. But there was a lingering bitterness that would not leave. A bitterness that emerged whenever she looked at Sarah. She didn't want it to be there, Sarah had meant so much to her, but Agnes was her blood child and she had been murdered by Indians. This same savage blood ran through Sarah's veins. Sweet Agnes had been murdered by Sarah's people . When she looked at the child she didn't see her lovely adopted daughter, she saw Indian savages snuffing out the life of one of her own! In her own private battle she tried to overcome these feelings. Nathan made this task as hard as he possibly could for her. He seemed determined to use this grievous loss to forward his own hate against Sarah.
John constantly bit his tongue and she knew it was because he felt he had to keep his promises to both Agnes and her.
A few days had passed when Daniel joined Marion beside the graves of Matthew and the Indian woman. As he placed his hand on her shoulder she quietly sobbed, “I don't know what to do.”
“The sadness will pass.”
“The sadness isn't what bothers me, it's the hate. I've never had hate like this and it scares me. I love Sarah, but every time I look at her all I can see is Agnes suffering and dying. Why did this happen to us?” She began to weep. “We've always tried to live right. We've always helped people and loved everyone. We ignored the danger and took in an Indian orphan. This is how we're repaid? Our own daughter's life snuffed out before she's had a chance to really live it! Why?” Marion cried out as she dropped to her knees and pounded her fists on the grave of the Indian woman. “Why! Why! Why!”
“Stop it!” Daniel took her by her arm and lifted her from the ground and looked deeply into her large brown eyes. “It wasn't these Indians, it was renegades. You can't blame all for what some do, you taught me that, remember? Evil is not confined to one race. Sarah is one of the good ones and she's our daughter.”
Marion buried her face in Daniel's broad chest as she wept. “Help me. Please help me not to hate them all!” But it was too late, the seed of bitterness had taken root.
Chapter Five
* * * *
John turned fifteen. With his birthday came a great feeling of freedom and also the frightening realization that he was now free to live on his own and be fully responsible for himself. He had done it, he'd made it through without responding to any of Nathan's provoking comments against him or Sarah. There had been times when he'd almost succumbed to his fiery temper. It was time he left home to begin making his own way. With a bit of sadness he packed his bags and said goodbye to his family. It was Sarah who
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