Can't Let Go by Michelle Brewer Page A

fantasies were from a long time ago, when she was a silly girl with a freshly broken heart.  Logan Sheppard was simply a man she used to date.  Not only that, but they had both just lost people they deeply cared about.  She took a deep breath, vainly attempting to steady herself.  “Did they ever say anything about what they wanted or—?” 
    He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders and she realized that he was just as lost and shaken as she.  She fought the tears that had formed in her eyes and swallowed hard at the ball in her throat again.  “No—not really.”
    “I figure—so long as they’re together…”  The ball was almost impossible to ignore now, the tears threatening to spill over.  Hold it together, Abby.  
    “That’s what I thought, too.”  He agreed and she nodded, taking a deep breath, again trying to steady herself.  “Should we have a viewing?” 
    “I…”  She shrugged her shoulders.  “I really don’t know.”
    “Allison suggested at least one day of viewing.  She said that Blake and Hayley had a lot of friends—plus it gives people coming in from out of town time to arrive for the funeral…”
    Abby nodded.  “Sure—that sounds fine.”  Memories from her mother’s funeral flashed across her eyes.  She remembered being too afraid to even go up to the casket—too afraid to look.  “Do you think—I mean, maybe Friday?  And the funeral Saturday?”
    Logan nodded now.  “That’s what Allison suggested.” 
    “Then that’s settled.”  She took a deep breath. 
    “We should have a wake.”  And Abby looked up, unexpectedly meeting his eyes.  Even through the heavily tinted glass, she could see the intense gray of them.  Once upon a time, she’d been able to stare into their depths and know exactly what he was feeling—but now she was so startled by their intensity that she was nearly knocked off balance. 
    She felt her heart flutter—a sensation she’d nearly forgotten about. 
    “You know Hayley would hate to have everyone just standing around crying.  She’d want people to remember the good times.”
    He was right.  Hayley would cringe at the idea of people mourning her.  “That’s a good idea,”   Abby told him, breaking the gaze, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.  “ Hayl …she hated people fussing over her.”  Her throat restricted further and the room once again swayed. 
    “Okay—I’ll go let Allison know what we’ve decided.”  She reached out to steady herself, but there was nothing there.  “You okay, Abby?”
    “I just—I need some air,”   She shook her head.  “I’m going to step outside—”
    “You sure?”   She nodded then, desperate for some distance.  She needed to get away from him—from all of this.  She was losing control. 
    “Yeah—yeah, just meet me back outside—”   And with that, she turned away from him, making her way back toward the door she had entered through.  The cool air hit her like a ton of bricks and she braced herself against the railing of the porch, breathing in deep breaths, willing the pain to go away.  It’s okay, Abby.  It’s going to be okay.   She insisted to herself. 
    There was no other option—things had to be okay. 
    She heard the door open behind her and she knew he was there, even without looking.  She’d always had a bit of a sixth sense when it came to Logan Sheppard.  “I told her we would go look at plots today.  She gave me a map to let me know what was available.”  Abby nodded, still unable to speak.  The ball in her throat was too much to bear.  “Are you sure you’re okay, Abby?” 
    “Yeah—yeah, I’m fine,”   she breathed, aware that her voice was strained.  “It’s just been a long night.  I need to go get a room and try to sleep.”  Logan nodded.  “I need to start making phone calls too, though.  It’s such short notice—”
    “I can do that—”
    “No, Logan.  You’ve done plenty.”  She looked up,