deep inside me to know that my weird magnet, especially when it was turned up as high as it had been for most of a year, put her in so much danger. I was glad she had found Xavier. I trusted him to be strong enough to watch over her and keep my sister as safe as possible. I caught Xavier watching Kerry sleep and realized with a jolt that it was love I saw in Xavier's eyes when he looked at my sister.
"Xavier," I whispered. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, Maire. Anything," he said, carefully turning so he could see me without waking Kerry.
"What you feel for Kerry. It's more than a crush, isn't it." It wasn't really a question
He looked down at my sister and his normally tense expression softened. "Yeah. Definitely more than a crush."
"And you know I don't care about, well, your condition, right?"
Xavier nodded. "Good with weird...like Gram says. You've never even pushed for details like a regular girl would. You're kinda like a boy in a girl's body."
"I'm not sure how to take that," I said, laughing.
"It's a compliment. You kinda feel like a brother to me except that I get weirded out if I think of you that way and then think about Kerry."
"Well, do you mind if I ask for a couple of details now?"
"Nope. I kinda wondered when we'd have this talk actually."
I swallowed hard. This was getting weirder by the moment, but I had to know. I had to protect Kerry.
"How is the virus transmitted? I mean...can Kerry..."
"I'd have to change into my panther to give Kerry the virus, Mairin," he said. "We're only contagious when we're in animal form. The doc doesn't really know why, but I've seen weres in human form fight and cut humans. When we're in our animal forms, blood to blood contact is what carries the disease. In human form, the virus doesn't move from host to victim."
"Oh," I said. I didn't know what else to say without sounding too maternal.
"I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, Mairin. I certainly wouldn't do anything that would endanger Kerry."
"I know, Xavier," I said. "But I'm the big sister. I'm supposed to worry."
"You're in more danger from Mathias than Kerry ever will be from me," he said, stroking Kerry's hair.
"You've watched him long enough to know Mathias won't hurt me, Xavier."
"Not intentionally, no," Xavier said. "But you have to admit his friends are a little more dangerous than my brothers are. And his venom is way more contagious than my virus is. One tiny nick with his teeth and you're a vamp, Mairin. No cure, no turning back. And while furry is for life, it isn't eternity. We age and we die. Vamps don't."
I shuddered. Xavier's assessment was brutal but true. Kerry would never be in the kind of danger I was from Mathias if she were to stay with Xavier and the other panthers. Other than their once a month shape change, the panthers were human. They aged, they lived, and they were able to control themselves. Mathias' family and any other vampires he might know would always be killers in one way or another. They would always be far more dangerous than the panthers. As for Mathias' venom, there were times when I thought of what it would be like to live forever with Mathias. Those dreams were both wonderful and terrible. I knew I would love him for eternity, that there would never be any other man I would love, but I'd had a first hand look at the horror of being a vampire through Mathias' memories. I'd seen what killing had done to him and I didn't know if I could survive it as he had. I also knew I couldn't ask Mathias sacrifice his soul for me.
"He wont even kiss me because he's afraid of infecting me," I admitted.
"Yeah, I'd wondered about that. I've seen how he touches you, Mairin. He is aware of every move he makes, of everything that brings you closer to him. I've never seen anyone be so careful with another human being. It's kind of weird actually."
"I think he's afraid of what might happen if I got hurt and bled near him. The broken ribs last spring weren't a problem because there
"Xavier," I whispered. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, Maire. Anything," he said, carefully turning so he could see me without waking Kerry.
"What you feel for Kerry. It's more than a crush, isn't it." It wasn't really a question
He looked down at my sister and his normally tense expression softened. "Yeah. Definitely more than a crush."
"And you know I don't care about, well, your condition, right?"
Xavier nodded. "Good with weird...like Gram says. You've never even pushed for details like a regular girl would. You're kinda like a boy in a girl's body."
"I'm not sure how to take that," I said, laughing.
"It's a compliment. You kinda feel like a brother to me except that I get weirded out if I think of you that way and then think about Kerry."
"Well, do you mind if I ask for a couple of details now?"
"Nope. I kinda wondered when we'd have this talk actually."
I swallowed hard. This was getting weirder by the moment, but I had to know. I had to protect Kerry.
"How is the virus transmitted? I mean...can Kerry..."
"I'd have to change into my panther to give Kerry the virus, Mairin," he said. "We're only contagious when we're in animal form. The doc doesn't really know why, but I've seen weres in human form fight and cut humans. When we're in our animal forms, blood to blood contact is what carries the disease. In human form, the virus doesn't move from host to victim."
"Oh," I said. I didn't know what else to say without sounding too maternal.
"I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, Mairin. I certainly wouldn't do anything that would endanger Kerry."
"I know, Xavier," I said. "But I'm the big sister. I'm supposed to worry."
"You're in more danger from Mathias than Kerry ever will be from me," he said, stroking Kerry's hair.
"You've watched him long enough to know Mathias won't hurt me, Xavier."
"Not intentionally, no," Xavier said. "But you have to admit his friends are a little more dangerous than my brothers are. And his venom is way more contagious than my virus is. One tiny nick with his teeth and you're a vamp, Mairin. No cure, no turning back. And while furry is for life, it isn't eternity. We age and we die. Vamps don't."
I shuddered. Xavier's assessment was brutal but true. Kerry would never be in the kind of danger I was from Mathias if she were to stay with Xavier and the other panthers. Other than their once a month shape change, the panthers were human. They aged, they lived, and they were able to control themselves. Mathias' family and any other vampires he might know would always be killers in one way or another. They would always be far more dangerous than the panthers. As for Mathias' venom, there were times when I thought of what it would be like to live forever with Mathias. Those dreams were both wonderful and terrible. I knew I would love him for eternity, that there would never be any other man I would love, but I'd had a first hand look at the horror of being a vampire through Mathias' memories. I'd seen what killing had done to him and I didn't know if I could survive it as he had. I also knew I couldn't ask Mathias sacrifice his soul for me.
"He wont even kiss me because he's afraid of infecting me," I admitted.
"Yeah, I'd wondered about that. I've seen how he touches you, Mairin. He is aware of every move he makes, of everything that brings you closer to him. I've never seen anyone be so careful with another human being. It's kind of weird actually."
"I think he's afraid of what might happen if I got hurt and bled near him. The broken ribs last spring weren't a problem because there
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