heard her utter a malicious word about anyone
or seen her act out of spite. So what was she worried about?
“You? What could you have said?”
“I might have mentioned something about the repairs to your
loft being almost finished.”
That didn’t sound so bad. “Did you?”
“Yeah and… I might have asked if you and Emma would be
moving in there together.” Quickly, she added, “I wasn’t trying to start
anything, honestly. I just wanted some idea about how serious she is about you
since you really seem to care about her.”
I wouldn’t mind knowing that either. Emma’s insistence at
the beginning of our relationship that we were strictly temporary still bugged
the hell out of me.
I told myself that we’d evolved since then. Roller coaster
rides, blazing hot sex-- she let me spank her and didn’t deck me!-- and
all the conversation, laughs and what not that we’d shared had seen to that.
But I still didn’t know for sure that she’d changed her mind.
The plain fact was that she knocked me off balance in a way
that I’d never experienced before, not remotely.
No woman could be more passionate and giving in bed or anywhere
else. I’d never felt anything close to what I did with her and I sure as hell
didn’t want to ever go looking for it anywhere else.
She was it for me. Realizing that should have been
terrifying and it was in a way. The thought of her being hurt or frightened or
simply unhappy felt like a knife twisting in my gut. But admitting how I felt also
made me feel rock steady. I had a clear path into a future that I wanted more
than anything. All I had to do was figure out how to get us both there.
“Anything else?” I asked. “Might as well make a full
confession while you’re at it.”
In a rush, my sibling said, “I told Emma that Mom is coming
back from London and is looking forward to meeting her.”
That was more serious. I loved my mom but a couple of her
friends had become grandmothers in the last few years. To hear her tell it,
there was no greater joy in the world to, as she put it, “hold a precious
grandchild in your arms and know that everything you’ve ever gone through in
your life has been worthwhile.”
Apparently, Jared, Caro and I were just necessary stepping
stones on the way to the ultimate, hallowed state of grandmother-hood. Who knew
all those years growing up surrounded by maternal love? She was just bidding
her time.
“And Mom knows about Emma how?” I asked cautiously.
“Jeez, how would I know? The photos from the gala? Or I
might possibly, I can’t quite recall, have said something… You’re not upset,
are you?”
“Of course I’m not,” I assured her. If Emma really was off
somewhere thinking about moving in with me and meeting my mother, I’d be relieved.
However anxious that might make her, I could deal with it. Still, I wasn’t
about to let my sister off the hook that easily.
“I’ll just return the favor when you’re finally serious
about someone,” I said.
Caro snorted. “Don’t hold your breath, big bro’. I’d rather
cuddle up with a warm laptop than any man I’ve met.”
I had mixed feelings about that. The last thing I wanted was
for Caro to ever settle for someone but I didn’t want her to be alone either. I
could worry about my sister’s love life later. First, I had my own to
straighten out.
I got off the phone a few minutes later and tried Emma’s
number again. It still wasn’t answering. Could she possibly be any more
frustrating?
I needed to think--calmly and rationally, two states of mind
that thoughts of Emma definitely did not encourage.
It was a beautiful day. She’d had few chances to get out of
the apartment. Why couldn’t I accept that she might have just gone for a walk?
Because she was worried and worse. Spooked, as I’d told
Feeney. She was out there somewhere, coping with god-only-knew what. And she’d
left me helpless to do anything about it.
Obeying an impulse that I hadn’t know I
or seen her act out of spite. So what was she worried about?
“You? What could you have said?”
“I might have mentioned something about the repairs to your
loft being almost finished.”
That didn’t sound so bad. “Did you?”
“Yeah and… I might have asked if you and Emma would be
moving in there together.” Quickly, she added, “I wasn’t trying to start
anything, honestly. I just wanted some idea about how serious she is about you
since you really seem to care about her.”
I wouldn’t mind knowing that either. Emma’s insistence at
the beginning of our relationship that we were strictly temporary still bugged
the hell out of me.
I told myself that we’d evolved since then. Roller coaster
rides, blazing hot sex-- she let me spank her and didn’t deck me!-- and
all the conversation, laughs and what not that we’d shared had seen to that.
But I still didn’t know for sure that she’d changed her mind.
The plain fact was that she knocked me off balance in a way
that I’d never experienced before, not remotely.
No woman could be more passionate and giving in bed or anywhere
else. I’d never felt anything close to what I did with her and I sure as hell
didn’t want to ever go looking for it anywhere else.
She was it for me. Realizing that should have been
terrifying and it was in a way. The thought of her being hurt or frightened or
simply unhappy felt like a knife twisting in my gut. But admitting how I felt also
made me feel rock steady. I had a clear path into a future that I wanted more
than anything. All I had to do was figure out how to get us both there.
“Anything else?” I asked. “Might as well make a full
confession while you’re at it.”
In a rush, my sibling said, “I told Emma that Mom is coming
back from London and is looking forward to meeting her.”
That was more serious. I loved my mom but a couple of her
friends had become grandmothers in the last few years. To hear her tell it,
there was no greater joy in the world to, as she put it, “hold a precious
grandchild in your arms and know that everything you’ve ever gone through in
your life has been worthwhile.”
Apparently, Jared, Caro and I were just necessary stepping
stones on the way to the ultimate, hallowed state of grandmother-hood. Who knew
all those years growing up surrounded by maternal love? She was just bidding
her time.
“And Mom knows about Emma how?” I asked cautiously.
“Jeez, how would I know? The photos from the gala? Or I
might possibly, I can’t quite recall, have said something… You’re not upset,
are you?”
“Of course I’m not,” I assured her. If Emma really was off
somewhere thinking about moving in with me and meeting my mother, I’d be relieved.
However anxious that might make her, I could deal with it. Still, I wasn’t
about to let my sister off the hook that easily.
“I’ll just return the favor when you’re finally serious
about someone,” I said.
Caro snorted. “Don’t hold your breath, big bro’. I’d rather
cuddle up with a warm laptop than any man I’ve met.”
I had mixed feelings about that. The last thing I wanted was
for Caro to ever settle for someone but I didn’t want her to be alone either. I
could worry about my sister’s love life later. First, I had my own to
straighten out.
I got off the phone a few minutes later and tried Emma’s
number again. It still wasn’t answering. Could she possibly be any more
frustrating?
I needed to think--calmly and rationally, two states of mind
that thoughts of Emma definitely did not encourage.
It was a beautiful day. She’d had few chances to get out of
the apartment. Why couldn’t I accept that she might have just gone for a walk?
Because she was worried and worse. Spooked, as I’d told
Feeney. She was out there somewhere, coping with god-only-knew what. And she’d
left me helpless to do anything about it.
Obeying an impulse that I hadn’t know I
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