morning, I still haven’t heard anything. That’s not even the worst of it: the tickle at the back of my throat is now a constant bother. I cough my way through therapy, which makes dart throwing impossible. Then I cough my way through breakfast and Mom gives me a look over her fork full of eggs.
“Have you been using the nebulizer meds, Kate?”
I nod and swallow the food in my mouth. “I think there’s a cold going around school.”
Mom’s eyes harden. “Then you’re staying home.”
It’s not a bad idea. At least it would give a particular rumor time to settle down. But I really want to know what’s up with Giana. And since she’s not answering her phone, the only way to find out is to hope she makes an appearance at school today. “I promise to stay away from the sick kids.”
“You’ll have to wear a mask,” Mom says.
I curse the dang mask and cough into the crook of my elbow. “How about I skip the mask but if I feel worse tomorrow, I’ll stay home.”
“And you’ll stay away from anyone who even looks like they’ve got a cold?”
I think of Jack and the wildfire rumor. “Far, far away.”
* * *
I don’t see Giana before school starts. When I walk into first period, Kyler’s there, standing by my desk like he’s waiting to tell me something.
“What?” I walk quickly toward him. “Have you seen Giana?” I check my thoughts and wonder when I became so worried about someone other than myself. Even the sudden cough isn’t bothering me much.
“Yes,” Kyler says. “I don’t think you need to worry, though. She seems fine today. Maybe a little down, but not as bad as you described her yesterday.”
I sigh and a pinch of tension leaves my shoulders. “I wonder why she never returned my call.”
“She’s still a little quiet, which isn’t like her. Maybe she’s got something going on and just needs time to work it out.” Kyler touches my arm and I freeze. Maybe if I don’t move, he’ll keep his hand there forever. “Sometimes life happens, but if anyone can see the good side, it’s Giana.”
Of course he’s right. I’ve never seen Giana anything but happy—which is why her distress bothers me so much. When Kyler pulls his hand away, I want to tell him to stop—to leave it there and whisper nice things into my ear. Really, anything out of his mouth would be nice, especially if it’s soft enough to be whispered. Kyler goes to his seat and I sink into my chair.
Kyler speaks so highly of Giana. Would anyone ever say that about me? Happy and eager to see the bright side? I’ve accepted my disease, I’ve even accepted death. But maybe there’s more to it than that. Mom’s always telling me that accepting something is more than just being resigned to the future. Giana has gone through terrible things. The accident she was in as a girl took away part of her hearing and almost killed her. She doesn’t walk around with a chip on her shoulder like I do.
Maybe if I focus on the good, I’ll be happier with my life. Knowing death could come anytime is one thing. Being okay with it is another.
C hoosing to be happy in spite of it has never been easy.
* * *
Right when the lunch bell rings, I hurry to the cafeteria to find Giana. I’m halfway finished with my meal before she comes through the door, shuffling her feet and gazing at everything like she’s stuck in a dream.
Kyler thinks this is better? Just because she’s not crying doesn’t mean she’s happy. She’s not even okay. I wave her over and she si nks into the seat beside me.
“Where did you go yesterday?” I ask, hoping it sounds casual enough.
A quiet sigh escapes her lips. “I’m sorry. My sister texted me with some bad news.”
“Your sister who just had a baby?”
Giana’s head moves up and down once.
“Is everything okay?” I lean on the edge of my chair and wait for her to tell me what it is.
She shrugs. “I think so. It’s nothing serious yet. But it can turn into something very
“Have you been using the nebulizer meds, Kate?”
I nod and swallow the food in my mouth. “I think there’s a cold going around school.”
Mom’s eyes harden. “Then you’re staying home.”
It’s not a bad idea. At least it would give a particular rumor time to settle down. But I really want to know what’s up with Giana. And since she’s not answering her phone, the only way to find out is to hope she makes an appearance at school today. “I promise to stay away from the sick kids.”
“You’ll have to wear a mask,” Mom says.
I curse the dang mask and cough into the crook of my elbow. “How about I skip the mask but if I feel worse tomorrow, I’ll stay home.”
“And you’ll stay away from anyone who even looks like they’ve got a cold?”
I think of Jack and the wildfire rumor. “Far, far away.”
* * *
I don’t see Giana before school starts. When I walk into first period, Kyler’s there, standing by my desk like he’s waiting to tell me something.
“What?” I walk quickly toward him. “Have you seen Giana?” I check my thoughts and wonder when I became so worried about someone other than myself. Even the sudden cough isn’t bothering me much.
“Yes,” Kyler says. “I don’t think you need to worry, though. She seems fine today. Maybe a little down, but not as bad as you described her yesterday.”
I sigh and a pinch of tension leaves my shoulders. “I wonder why she never returned my call.”
“She’s still a little quiet, which isn’t like her. Maybe she’s got something going on and just needs time to work it out.” Kyler touches my arm and I freeze. Maybe if I don’t move, he’ll keep his hand there forever. “Sometimes life happens, but if anyone can see the good side, it’s Giana.”
Of course he’s right. I’ve never seen Giana anything but happy—which is why her distress bothers me so much. When Kyler pulls his hand away, I want to tell him to stop—to leave it there and whisper nice things into my ear. Really, anything out of his mouth would be nice, especially if it’s soft enough to be whispered. Kyler goes to his seat and I sink into my chair.
Kyler speaks so highly of Giana. Would anyone ever say that about me? Happy and eager to see the bright side? I’ve accepted my disease, I’ve even accepted death. But maybe there’s more to it than that. Mom’s always telling me that accepting something is more than just being resigned to the future. Giana has gone through terrible things. The accident she was in as a girl took away part of her hearing and almost killed her. She doesn’t walk around with a chip on her shoulder like I do.
Maybe if I focus on the good, I’ll be happier with my life. Knowing death could come anytime is one thing. Being okay with it is another.
C hoosing to be happy in spite of it has never been easy.
* * *
Right when the lunch bell rings, I hurry to the cafeteria to find Giana. I’m halfway finished with my meal before she comes through the door, shuffling her feet and gazing at everything like she’s stuck in a dream.
Kyler thinks this is better? Just because she’s not crying doesn’t mean she’s happy. She’s not even okay. I wave her over and she si nks into the seat beside me.
“Where did you go yesterday?” I ask, hoping it sounds casual enough.
A quiet sigh escapes her lips. “I’m sorry. My sister texted me with some bad news.”
“Your sister who just had a baby?”
Giana’s head moves up and down once.
“Is everything okay?” I lean on the edge of my chair and wait for her to tell me what it is.
She shrugs. “I think so. It’s nothing serious yet. But it can turn into something very
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