Charming Christmas by Carly Alexander Page A

life.
    Bonnie sniffed. “I feel so stupid.”
    â€œIntelligence and reason have no place in certain matters of the heart; sometimes you fit another person into your life, trimming this and curtailing that to make it a good fit, and the adjustments you make become so second nature that you don’t know how to undo the changes when they’re gone. Suddenly, the guy is gone and so is your self-instinct, your strong sense of choice and direction.” I knew it was true for me, and I thought Bonnie should have the space to take her ex-husband back if that was what she really wanted.
    â€œHold everything.” Lanessa’s hands splayed over the table. “Instead of pulling the man back as a quick fix, wouldn’t it make sense to rediscover your sense of self so you’re not reliant on someone else?”
    Bonnie and I looked at her, then back at each other. “No!” we answered.
    â€œDidn’t I just say that it doesn’t always make sense?” I said.
    While Bonnie dashed to the ladies’ room to wash up, Kate brought us up to speed. “Turtle and I had a huge fight.” Kate twirled her wineglass, not meeting our eyes.
    I bit my lip, waiting for Kate to tell her side of the story. Turtle worked for the same institution as Kate—the National Aquarium, where he was a turtle specialist—and he and Kate had been dating since college, sharing an apartment for almost a year now. Maybe it was because Turtle had more longevity than any of the other boyfriends, but I felt very comfortable around him and was always glad to run into him with Kate or see him at a party. There’s something very turtlelike about his appearance—his helmet of straight hair and pale eyes that seem to recede beneath his glasses—but he’s also a wealth of information and a fun conversationalist. The guy can talk about the stock market or the latest Hollywood scandal just as easily as he discusses captivity of the Indian star tortoise in Singapore or the Aboriginal harvest of long-necked turtles in Australia.
    â€œMaybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing,” Kate said. “Tell me if I’m wrong, but he freaked me out, making a move without discussing it first. He’s applying to an aquarium in San Diego. Can you believe it?”
    Lanessa shrugged. “So is he planning to move?”
    â€œThat’s what I said. I feel like he’s making plans without me. Pulling away.”
    â€œAnd what does he say about that?” I asked.
    â€œHe says no. If he gets an interview, he wants us to fly out together. They’re always looking for marine biologists, and I could probably find a job.”
    â€œCould be good,” I said.
    â€œYou’re right.” Kate sighed. “I just hate it when we fight.”
    Bonnie returned. “So what did I miss?” She squinted at Kate. “Not you and Turtle?”
    â€œSounds like he’s packed his bags for sunny So-Cal,” Lanessa said.
    We ordered mussels (and a burger for Bonnie, who can’t stand to eat anything that resembles a diaphragm) and tried to assess whether Turtle had emotionally checked out of the relationship. Somehow the talk spun back to Lanessa’s new hottie. Nessa was going through various scenarios for getting the man alone in the conference room when two servers delivered our food.
    As they lifted the domes from the steaming clams, I sensed the servers staring at me, studying me. “There you go.”
    The woman, a petite thing with hair streaked in various shades of butter, unfurled the napkin and placed it in my lap.
    â€œHere are some extra hand towels for when you’re done.” The waiter placed a fat wad of them in front of my place. I sensed heads turning toward me in Bertha’s dining room.
    Did they think I was a celebrity? Or was I just looking particularly hot tonight?
    â€œEnjoy your food,” the waiter said. “And let us know if you