Chasing Mrs. Knightly (Chasing #5: Chasing Epilogue) by Pamela Ann Page B
Authors: Pamela Ann
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I feel about this . I don’t even know why you’d bring this up, knowing what I’d say anyway.”
“Sienna ,” he begged. “ Please. You don’t have to do much else if you don’t feel like it. I won’t let our baby hinder your goals in life. You can do as much you want—school, opening your own business, travel, party with friends. Whatever you want, I’d happily go along. I won’t even complain, I swear it.”
I shook my head, having already made up my mind long ago. As much as I wanted to comfort Blake’s worries, I couldn’t bend my wants and needs for someone else’s happiness. “Blake, I can’t. I’m sorry.”
His crestfallen face broke my heart , yet I couldn’t find it in me to undo my words in order to brighten those dimmed depths. We’d had an agreement. He had promised. And I needed him to stick with that promise. Five years.
“Don’t be mad at me, please? You can’t expect me to change my mind just because circu mstances have changed. I haven’t; I’m still the same woman who made that promise to you during our honeymoon.”
“If the situation were reversed, I’d happily give you anything you want, Sienna. I suppose it’s good to know now that you’re different from me .”
How dare he slap this in my face? We’d had an understanding. “You’re asking too much from me. Don’t you see that?”
He shook his head, as if seeing me for the first time. “It’s a baby. Our baby. This little bu ndle of joy will provide you, me— us —more love and fulfillment than what we already know. Being a mother is a blessing, not a curse. If you’re so adamant and terrified about the prospect of it, tell me this, just once, Sienna, will you ever be ready to become a mother?”
His question threw me asunder. Will you ever be ready to become a mother? He didn’t think I’d ever be ready to be one. Was this a test? Because it was a tricky question and one I didn’t appreciate in the least.
“I’m ready when I’m fucking ready. In five years ’ time, ten, heck maybe in the next six months, but that’s up to me to decide.”
I had expected anger to surface in his magnificent features , but I was quite astounded to find sadness marring his beauty. The sadness was etched everywhere, as if I had just crumbled and stomped on his dream because I had thrown a tantrum. But what had he thought? That I’d happily go along with his wants because I was so sick in love I’d bend over backwards to give him the world? There was no question that I loved him, but I also wanted to be prepared to be a mother, so I could be capable of loving my own offspring and not be this distant parent that would turn into an egotistical maniac the second the child threw a hissy fit or cried in vain.
Being a mother was terrifying and should not be taken lightly. For crying out loud, it wasn’t a joke. Even if he vowed to do everything and anything in his power to cater to the child’s needs, the society expected the mother to do the nurturing, not the father. People would talk freely as to how awful I was at being a mother. The scenarios just kept flooding my brain , and I couldn’t, for the life of me, let it go for Blake’s happiness.
I simply couldn’t. I was petrified that he was demanding this from me. In a year’s time, who knew what he’d ask of me then.
“I’m sorry, babe. You know I’d give you anything to make you happy, but I can’t compromise with this request.” I hoped he’d find it in his heart to let this dream go for the time being. “Forgive me.”
He nodded, looking like someone had died. “Me , too. You don’t know how much,” he whispered more to himself, before he gave me one last look and took off.
“Where are you going?” I asked, panicked.
“Heading to the office.”
But it was late. Freaking hell, couldn’t he just cool the fuck down? “Stay home. You need to rest.”
I heard the loud , thudding slam of the front door. Well, there went my answer.
He needed to
“Sienna ,” he begged. “ Please. You don’t have to do much else if you don’t feel like it. I won’t let our baby hinder your goals in life. You can do as much you want—school, opening your own business, travel, party with friends. Whatever you want, I’d happily go along. I won’t even complain, I swear it.”
I shook my head, having already made up my mind long ago. As much as I wanted to comfort Blake’s worries, I couldn’t bend my wants and needs for someone else’s happiness. “Blake, I can’t. I’m sorry.”
His crestfallen face broke my heart , yet I couldn’t find it in me to undo my words in order to brighten those dimmed depths. We’d had an agreement. He had promised. And I needed him to stick with that promise. Five years.
“Don’t be mad at me, please? You can’t expect me to change my mind just because circu mstances have changed. I haven’t; I’m still the same woman who made that promise to you during our honeymoon.”
“If the situation were reversed, I’d happily give you anything you want, Sienna. I suppose it’s good to know now that you’re different from me .”
How dare he slap this in my face? We’d had an understanding. “You’re asking too much from me. Don’t you see that?”
He shook his head, as if seeing me for the first time. “It’s a baby. Our baby. This little bu ndle of joy will provide you, me— us —more love and fulfillment than what we already know. Being a mother is a blessing, not a curse. If you’re so adamant and terrified about the prospect of it, tell me this, just once, Sienna, will you ever be ready to become a mother?”
His question threw me asunder. Will you ever be ready to become a mother? He didn’t think I’d ever be ready to be one. Was this a test? Because it was a tricky question and one I didn’t appreciate in the least.
“I’m ready when I’m fucking ready. In five years ’ time, ten, heck maybe in the next six months, but that’s up to me to decide.”
I had expected anger to surface in his magnificent features , but I was quite astounded to find sadness marring his beauty. The sadness was etched everywhere, as if I had just crumbled and stomped on his dream because I had thrown a tantrum. But what had he thought? That I’d happily go along with his wants because I was so sick in love I’d bend over backwards to give him the world? There was no question that I loved him, but I also wanted to be prepared to be a mother, so I could be capable of loving my own offspring and not be this distant parent that would turn into an egotistical maniac the second the child threw a hissy fit or cried in vain.
Being a mother was terrifying and should not be taken lightly. For crying out loud, it wasn’t a joke. Even if he vowed to do everything and anything in his power to cater to the child’s needs, the society expected the mother to do the nurturing, not the father. People would talk freely as to how awful I was at being a mother. The scenarios just kept flooding my brain , and I couldn’t, for the life of me, let it go for Blake’s happiness.
I simply couldn’t. I was petrified that he was demanding this from me. In a year’s time, who knew what he’d ask of me then.
“I’m sorry, babe. You know I’d give you anything to make you happy, but I can’t compromise with this request.” I hoped he’d find it in his heart to let this dream go for the time being. “Forgive me.”
He nodded, looking like someone had died. “Me , too. You don’t know how much,” he whispered more to himself, before he gave me one last look and took off.
“Where are you going?” I asked, panicked.
“Heading to the office.”
But it was late. Freaking hell, couldn’t he just cool the fuck down? “Stay home. You need to rest.”
I heard the loud , thudding slam of the front door. Well, there went my answer.
He needed to
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