suck
admitting I let the chance pass me by.”
I nod. “Yeah sure. I’ll say it was great,
you’re huge, and I couldn’t walk in the morning...” I pause, my
mind is racing, and my mouth is on autopilot. “Tell them I sucked
you off after.” I laugh. “Ha! Tell them I swallow. That’s
hilarious!”
Qasim sets the food on the table with an
incredulous smile. “Yeah, we’ll have to re-evaluate that in
the morning.”
I begin stuffing my face. “How old are you?” I
ask through my food.
“28.” He says
I nod. “You’re fucking beautiful.” I confess.
Too much perhaps? But I don’t let that stop me. “When you walked
in, I couldn’t see anything but you. I was terrified. I just knew
I’d make an ass of myself...” I pause to swallow and reflect. “Good
thing that didn’t happen huh?” I laugh and Qasim laughs with
me.
“Then I opened my mouth.” He says.
I nod. “And all my anxiety evaporated, leaving
me free to be the suave, social genius I truly am.” I
snort.
Qasim reaches over and brushes my hair behind
my ear. “You want to shower?”
My eyes light up. “You joining me?”
He grins: it’s amazing. “No, but you said you
don’t like all that junk in your hair.”
“Oh yeah.” I shrug. “I don’t know, I’m pretty
woozy. What time is it?”
“Just midnight.”
“Really? Shit.”
There’s a long pause in conversation while we
both attack the cheese sticks.
“You could sleep it off.” He says at
last.
“That sounds good.”
Qasim leads me to the bedroom, where I remove
my shirt and bra because I can. I lie down on the bed and he spoons
up behind me, cupping my left breast in his hand. I’m having
thoughts about how we’ll probably have sex when we wake up, and
maybe more than that. Maybe we’ll be a couple, at least for a
while. We could hang out, call each other, and have sex a lot. I
could become friends with the other band chicks. I get the
impression Qasim’s thinking the same kinds of thoughts because he
sighs real sweet, and kisses my shoulder before I fall off to
sleep.
***
I wake in the dark and am disoriented. I’m not
in my bed. I see light from a streetlamp falling through the window
and on the floor. I see a shadow dart across it. I feel an arm
wrapped around me. I lie still holding my breath. The sensation of
the arm doesn’t go away, and now I remember Qasim. I exhale. I
guess he’s awake because he asks, “What is it?”
A shiver passes over me and I blurt out. “I’m
not truly very cool Qasim. I’m actually kind of crazy,
schizophrenic maybe.”
He stiffens, removing his arm form around me.
“You don’t need to make shit up, Meegan. I knew you wouldn’t be
that into me sober.”
Well, that made me angry. I sit up and face
him. “Remember when we got out of the cab and I said I liked you
and then my head jerked?”
He nods, defensive but listening, which begs
the question, why am I telling him this?
“Well, I saw a shadow bird, and you didn’t see
it, so I know I was hallucinating. It flew right by our
heads.”
Qasim narrows his gaze. He hasn’t decided if
I’m telling the truth or not so I go on.
“I see them all the time, all over the place,
but mostly around my apartment, and they're not always birds.
Sometimes they’re just orbs or blobs, like, floating. They used to
be literally just moving shadows out of the corners of my eyes, but
now sometimes they’re solid and I can see them straight on. They’re
not always dark, sometimes they're light. Also I’ll get this
feeling and then see someone standing behind me, over my shoulder.
When I turn there’s no one there. Also...” I go on, I can’t stop
now. “I feel things: taps on the shoulder, breath on my neck, hands
on my back, I’ve been pinched. And there’s never anyone there.” I
stop and catch my breath for a second. “I don’t know why I’m
spilling my guts here. Maybe it’s because, if you want to hang out
or whatever, more than just tonight, then I
admitting I let the chance pass me by.”
I nod. “Yeah sure. I’ll say it was great,
you’re huge, and I couldn’t walk in the morning...” I pause, my
mind is racing, and my mouth is on autopilot. “Tell them I sucked
you off after.” I laugh. “Ha! Tell them I swallow. That’s
hilarious!”
Qasim sets the food on the table with an
incredulous smile. “Yeah, we’ll have to re-evaluate that in
the morning.”
I begin stuffing my face. “How old are you?” I
ask through my food.
“28.” He says
I nod. “You’re fucking beautiful.” I confess.
Too much perhaps? But I don’t let that stop me. “When you walked
in, I couldn’t see anything but you. I was terrified. I just knew
I’d make an ass of myself...” I pause to swallow and reflect. “Good
thing that didn’t happen huh?” I laugh and Qasim laughs with
me.
“Then I opened my mouth.” He says.
I nod. “And all my anxiety evaporated, leaving
me free to be the suave, social genius I truly am.” I
snort.
Qasim reaches over and brushes my hair behind
my ear. “You want to shower?”
My eyes light up. “You joining me?”
He grins: it’s amazing. “No, but you said you
don’t like all that junk in your hair.”
“Oh yeah.” I shrug. “I don’t know, I’m pretty
woozy. What time is it?”
“Just midnight.”
“Really? Shit.”
There’s a long pause in conversation while we
both attack the cheese sticks.
“You could sleep it off.” He says at
last.
“That sounds good.”
Qasim leads me to the bedroom, where I remove
my shirt and bra because I can. I lie down on the bed and he spoons
up behind me, cupping my left breast in his hand. I’m having
thoughts about how we’ll probably have sex when we wake up, and
maybe more than that. Maybe we’ll be a couple, at least for a
while. We could hang out, call each other, and have sex a lot. I
could become friends with the other band chicks. I get the
impression Qasim’s thinking the same kinds of thoughts because he
sighs real sweet, and kisses my shoulder before I fall off to
sleep.
***
I wake in the dark and am disoriented. I’m not
in my bed. I see light from a streetlamp falling through the window
and on the floor. I see a shadow dart across it. I feel an arm
wrapped around me. I lie still holding my breath. The sensation of
the arm doesn’t go away, and now I remember Qasim. I exhale. I
guess he’s awake because he asks, “What is it?”
A shiver passes over me and I blurt out. “I’m
not truly very cool Qasim. I’m actually kind of crazy,
schizophrenic maybe.”
He stiffens, removing his arm form around me.
“You don’t need to make shit up, Meegan. I knew you wouldn’t be
that into me sober.”
Well, that made me angry. I sit up and face
him. “Remember when we got out of the cab and I said I liked you
and then my head jerked?”
He nods, defensive but listening, which begs
the question, why am I telling him this?
“Well, I saw a shadow bird, and you didn’t see
it, so I know I was hallucinating. It flew right by our
heads.”
Qasim narrows his gaze. He hasn’t decided if
I’m telling the truth or not so I go on.
“I see them all the time, all over the place,
but mostly around my apartment, and they're not always birds.
Sometimes they’re just orbs or blobs, like, floating. They used to
be literally just moving shadows out of the corners of my eyes, but
now sometimes they’re solid and I can see them straight on. They’re
not always dark, sometimes they're light. Also I’ll get this
feeling and then see someone standing behind me, over my shoulder.
When I turn there’s no one there. Also...” I go on, I can’t stop
now. “I feel things: taps on the shoulder, breath on my neck, hands
on my back, I’ve been pinched. And there’s never anyone there.” I
stop and catch my breath for a second. “I don’t know why I’m
spilling my guts here. Maybe it’s because, if you want to hang out
or whatever, more than just tonight, then I
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