me.”
Another stream of curses fly from her mouth, but I barely notice.
Daniel is the mystery buyer? Daniel has bought Bella Flora for
his
family?
I pace the loggia, my eyes shut to the beautiful day. I hear boat motors and the whine
of a WaveRunner. Someone’s shouting for me to “Look this way” and asking, “What’s
your mom serving for Christmas dinner?” but it’s just noise.
The biscuits turn to rocks in my stomach.
“Aren’t you going to fucking say anything?” Tonja Kay demands.
I can barely think let alone speak, so I just keep pacing, even though I’m going to
look like a crazy woman in the tabloids.
Please, God. Not them in Bella Flora. Let it be anyone but them
.
I look in horror now at the playhouse. Did Daniel send it as some sort of sick joke?
My silence has given Tonja Kay time to cool down. A taunting tone steals into her
voice. “Of course, now that I think about it, since we own it, I can bring my contractor
and designer in to fix whatever you’ve done to it.” I don’t respond—I can’t—so she
continues. “I saw this great indoor pool on
Million-Dollar Rooms
.”
I hang up while she’s cackling in my ear about how many walls they’ll have to rip
out to fit in the pool. I stare out over the pass, trying not to picture Tonja Kay
and her brood and the governesses—one for each child—swimming in what is currently
the salon and tramping all over the house that we brought back to life and that did
the same for us.
I have this ridiculous image of Avery chaining herself to the front door and the rest
of us lying down across Beach Road, blocking the driveway and the front steps to keep
them from entering Bella Flora. But there aren’t enough of us. And we’ve already closed.
I don’t think you’re allowed to change your mind once that’s happened and money has
changed hands. And it’s not as if anyone has enough money to give it back even if
we could.
Finally I go back inside. But I can’t bring myself to tell anyone that Daniel has
bought Bella Flora. Not today; not on Christmas. I sit and stare at the slice of apple
pie that someone’s put on my plate. When I feel everyone looking at me, I force myself
to take a bite. It tastes bitter on my tongue and in my mouth. It tastes like disappointment.
And regret.
***
I ignore my mother’s concerned looks and the questions in her eyes while we clear
the table and load the dishwasher. The guys are out on the beach throwing a football
around—how do they get away with that? Everyone’s looking at me by the time we finish
in the kitchen, but I scoop up Dustin and announce that we’re going upstairs to take
a nap. No one argues with this. Around here Dustin’s naptime is almost as sacred as
our sunset toasts.
Upstairs I lie on the bed staring up into the ceiling. Beside me Dustin’s breathing
grows regular and his thumb finds its way into his mouth. I wish I could suck my thumb
or twirl my hair like I did when I was his age, but I’m a grown woman now and those
comforts are no longer available. Counting sheep and trying to regulate my breathing
as if I’m in a yoga class are a bust. So I just lie there with my thoughts flittering
wherever they choose. I think about trying to reach Daniel to ask him why he bought
Bella Flora, but it doesn’t really matter why. And the only time he really listens
to me is when he thinks he has a shot at getting me back into bed.
I must fall asleep at some point, because I wake to Dustin’s chubby fingers cupping
my chin and his face pressed to mine. I open my eyes to stare into his. “Beeeech.”
He says this expectantly. “Castle?”
I look out the window and see that it’s late afternoon, which means we’ve been asleep
for a couple of hours. Sunset can’t be far off.
“Okay.” I throw off the covers, splash water on my face in the bathroom, change Dustin’s
diaper, and carry him down the back stairs. The
Another stream of curses fly from her mouth, but I barely notice.
Daniel is the mystery buyer? Daniel has bought Bella Flora for
his
family?
I pace the loggia, my eyes shut to the beautiful day. I hear boat motors and the whine
of a WaveRunner. Someone’s shouting for me to “Look this way” and asking, “What’s
your mom serving for Christmas dinner?” but it’s just noise.
The biscuits turn to rocks in my stomach.
“Aren’t you going to fucking say anything?” Tonja Kay demands.
I can barely think let alone speak, so I just keep pacing, even though I’m going to
look like a crazy woman in the tabloids.
Please, God. Not them in Bella Flora. Let it be anyone but them
.
I look in horror now at the playhouse. Did Daniel send it as some sort of sick joke?
My silence has given Tonja Kay time to cool down. A taunting tone steals into her
voice. “Of course, now that I think about it, since we own it, I can bring my contractor
and designer in to fix whatever you’ve done to it.” I don’t respond—I can’t—so she
continues. “I saw this great indoor pool on
Million-Dollar Rooms
.”
I hang up while she’s cackling in my ear about how many walls they’ll have to rip
out to fit in the pool. I stare out over the pass, trying not to picture Tonja Kay
and her brood and the governesses—one for each child—swimming in what is currently
the salon and tramping all over the house that we brought back to life and that did
the same for us.
I have this ridiculous image of Avery chaining herself to the front door and the rest
of us lying down across Beach Road, blocking the driveway and the front steps to keep
them from entering Bella Flora. But there aren’t enough of us. And we’ve already closed.
I don’t think you’re allowed to change your mind once that’s happened and money has
changed hands. And it’s not as if anyone has enough money to give it back even if
we could.
Finally I go back inside. But I can’t bring myself to tell anyone that Daniel has
bought Bella Flora. Not today; not on Christmas. I sit and stare at the slice of apple
pie that someone’s put on my plate. When I feel everyone looking at me, I force myself
to take a bite. It tastes bitter on my tongue and in my mouth. It tastes like disappointment.
And regret.
***
I ignore my mother’s concerned looks and the questions in her eyes while we clear
the table and load the dishwasher. The guys are out on the beach throwing a football
around—how do they get away with that? Everyone’s looking at me by the time we finish
in the kitchen, but I scoop up Dustin and announce that we’re going upstairs to take
a nap. No one argues with this. Around here Dustin’s naptime is almost as sacred as
our sunset toasts.
Upstairs I lie on the bed staring up into the ceiling. Beside me Dustin’s breathing
grows regular and his thumb finds its way into his mouth. I wish I could suck my thumb
or twirl my hair like I did when I was his age, but I’m a grown woman now and those
comforts are no longer available. Counting sheep and trying to regulate my breathing
as if I’m in a yoga class are a bust. So I just lie there with my thoughts flittering
wherever they choose. I think about trying to reach Daniel to ask him why he bought
Bella Flora, but it doesn’t really matter why. And the only time he really listens
to me is when he thinks he has a shot at getting me back into bed.
I must fall asleep at some point, because I wake to Dustin’s chubby fingers cupping
my chin and his face pressed to mine. I open my eyes to stare into his. “Beeeech.”
He says this expectantly. “Castle?”
I look out the window and see that it’s late afternoon, which means we’ve been asleep
for a couple of hours. Sunset can’t be far off.
“Okay.” I throw off the covers, splash water on my face in the bathroom, change Dustin’s
diaper, and carry him down the back stairs. The
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