Christmas Corpse Caper by Lois Lavrisa Page B

girls. Not many have liked me back, but I could’ve earned a varsity letter for trying.
    “I’m not afraid to be here alone, Joe,” I said, only revealing half of the truth. “With all the weight lifting I’ve been doing, I could kick some serious butt now.”
    Kim rolled her eyes and smiled at me. “You’re such a dork.”
    “For you, I’ll be a dork or anyone you want me to be.” I leaned on her desk and batted my eyelashes.
    “Enough, lover boy.” Kim shooed my elbow off her desk. She tapped her pen. “Looks like we’ve got a body coming in later tonight, so make sure you answer the back door buzzer.”
    “Yeah, don’t screw up.” Joe scribbled on a form attached to the clipboard he held. “Remember our number one rule here is ‘Clients are Golden’. That applies whether they’re breathing or not. Got it Ginger Gay Guy?”
    Oh maybe Joe’s not so smart, after all, I thought. “You can count on me. I’ll have everything under control.”
    “You’d better.” Joe set the clipboard on Kim’s desk then stood next to me. “Let’s get a move on. I’ve got big plans for tonight, so close this place down.”
    Glancing at the wall clock I saw it was five minutes past closing. “What do you have going on?” I asked, trying to make like we were friends having a normal conversation. At least I tried to be civil. He on the other hand had Neanderthal manners, which meant that he had none.
    “A hot date. Not that you’d know what that’s about, huh, momma’s boy Mark?” Joe smirked.
    “Hey, Joe,” Kim said, pouring a cup of coffee. “Take it easy on him. Just because you’re the owner’s nephew doesn’t give you the right to be so cruel. Plus, no matter what he says, Mark is probably nervous enough being on his own tonight.”
    “Kim, thanks for the support, but Joe’s no problem for me.” I winked at Kim. She needed to know I was a strong guy even if not shown outwardly with rippling muscles. “And Joe, I admit I’m a momma’s boy. After all, she gave birth to me. Because I assume that your mother birthed you, I would say you are one too. And secondly, I can handle anything that comes my way. I’m tough.”
    Joe huffed as he left the office, but stopped somewhere outside of the door to shout back to us, “Clean up and close up.”
    Kim took a sip of her coffee. “Joe’s a jerk most of the time, but he can be really nice. I mean he’s been my neighbor for years. He’s even helped me out when I’ve been short on rent, and loaned me his car when my transmission went out. Just give him a chance.”
    “Did you forget? I gave him four years full of chances in high school. Can’t say that he was ever remotely nice to me then. Certainly isn’t now.” Stirring two packets of sugar into my coffee, I let out a deep breath. “My problem is the fact that his uncle owns this place. I’m afraid Joe could interfere with me getting my mortician license. And this is all I ever wanted to do.”
    “You worry way too much. Joe likes you or he wouldn’t… “ Kim flipped a coffee stirrer into the trashcan.
    “Wouldn’t what?” I asked.
    “Nothing.” Kim set her cup down on the credenza. “Nothing at all.”
    “You can whisper sweet nothings to me all night if you want.” I smiled. Did she know how much I liked her? Sometimes I wondered if I came on too strong and she took me as a joke.
    “Hey, live ones.” Kim pointed at the office glass door.
    In the lobby, on the other side of the door, two women walked toward us. The first one stood about five foot three, with salt-and-pepper, short hair. She had a dusting of snow on the shoulders of her black, calf-length coat. A maroon scarf encircled her neck. The other woman stood a half-foot taller with bright white hair and wore a beige coat. As she got closer, I recognized her as one of our clients, Miss Susan Wallace. Her father currently occupied one of our viewing rooms in a silver and mahogany, top-of-the-line casket. I opened the office