Christopher Paul Curtis by Bucking the Sarge Page A
Authors: Bucking the Sarge
Tags: United States, Fiction, General, Humorous stories, Family & Relationships, People & Places, Family, Juvenile Fiction, Social Issues, People with mental disabilities, Mysteries & Detective Stories, Parents, Parenting, Mothers, Fraud, African Americans, Special Needs, Flint (Mich.), Group Homes, Business Enterprises
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kitchen cupboards didn't have anything in them except a box of cornflakes.
It looked like Bo was getting some perks from his job at Halo Burger. The next drawer had a bunch of red and white Halo Burger napkins, a bunch more of the coffee creamer and some of those little packs of salt and pepper. That was it!
I checked upstairs next. Other than a few loose sheets of paper and some old gym socks the place looked like it had already been prepped. There were no holes in the plaster, no mystery stains on the ceilings, just a few pictures of the space shuttle thumbtacked to one of the bedroom walls.
I saved the bathroom for last, it's always the nastiest, but the only thing in there was another stack of Halo Burger napkins sitting on the toilet.
It was perfect! I wouldn't even have to scrub the floors or the sink or the toilet or anything! This was a record. I'd be in and out in less than an hour!
I'd gone back to the kitchen to get the garbage bag when I saw them. I don't know how I missed them the first time through. The front door and sides of the fridge were plastered with a bunch of those flat little rectangular refrigerator magnets. They all said:
GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!
CALL ATTORNEY DONTAY ORLANDO GADDY
FOR THE ORIGINAL PITBULL ACTION!!!
REMEMBER:
BIG OR SMALL
HE WILL SUE 'EM ALL!!!
CALL 1-800-SUE-EM-ALL!!!
On one end of each magnet was a picture of a dog showing his teeth. On the other end was a picture of the American flag.
Maybe there'd be something to smile about when this was done after all. Sparky would get a real kick out of these magnets. I started peeling them off the sides of the fridge and making a stack for my dog. Then I noticed what it was the magnets were keeping up.
It looked like not only being neat ran in Bo's family, being smart did too. The magnets were holding up a bunch of tests and certificates and stuff. All of them had the name KeeKee Wilson neatly printed in the upper right-hand corner. That must be Bo's little sister.
Here were a bunch of tests that she got As and Bs in addition on.
Here were a bunch of tests that she got perfect in spelling on.
Here was a room C Citizen of the Month award.
Here was a Book Worm award saying that she'd read eighteen library books in April.
Here was a report card that was tattooed with nothing but As and Bs.
And here were a bunch of one-page essays she'd got mostly As and B-plusses on.
The one on top was called “Admiration.”
She'd written, in penmanship better than mine, spaced out on the paper:
My big brother is 14.
He is smart.
He cares if I'm hungry.
He studies alot and works alot.
I admire him because he is going to fly the space shuddle.
And he keeps his promeses.
And he doesn't pull two hard when he brades my hair.
His name is Bo
And he loves me.
Maybe that would've been too much right there. But I might've been all right if the last four of Dontay Orlando Gaddy's magnets weren't holding up a picture colored with bright crayons. She'd got an A on it, too. Her teacher had written, “Great Work, KeeKee!” It was titled “My Family” and showed three people standing outside of a house with a chimney that had smoke coming out of it. There was a little band of blue sky across the top and a little band of green grass across the bottom. There were five or six “V”s in the empty area under the sky that were supposed to be birds. There was a giant daisy growing next to a little tree. The number on the house was 4309.
She'd drawn a dude and two ladies. The females had skirts that were perfect triangles.
The male was the tallest and was in a burgundy shirtand black pants. Him and one of the females, who was just a little shorter, were reaching their stick arms to their sides and had joined up the three stick fingers that were on each of their hands. They both had bright Crayola red smiles on their bright Crayola brown faces and two black dots for eyes. The female standing off to the side of these two was about half their size and, maybe
It looked like Bo was getting some perks from his job at Halo Burger. The next drawer had a bunch of red and white Halo Burger napkins, a bunch more of the coffee creamer and some of those little packs of salt and pepper. That was it!
I checked upstairs next. Other than a few loose sheets of paper and some old gym socks the place looked like it had already been prepped. There were no holes in the plaster, no mystery stains on the ceilings, just a few pictures of the space shuttle thumbtacked to one of the bedroom walls.
I saved the bathroom for last, it's always the nastiest, but the only thing in there was another stack of Halo Burger napkins sitting on the toilet.
It was perfect! I wouldn't even have to scrub the floors or the sink or the toilet or anything! This was a record. I'd be in and out in less than an hour!
I'd gone back to the kitchen to get the garbage bag when I saw them. I don't know how I missed them the first time through. The front door and sides of the fridge were plastered with a bunch of those flat little rectangular refrigerator magnets. They all said:
GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!
CALL ATTORNEY DONTAY ORLANDO GADDY
FOR THE ORIGINAL PITBULL ACTION!!!
REMEMBER:
BIG OR SMALL
HE WILL SUE 'EM ALL!!!
CALL 1-800-SUE-EM-ALL!!!
On one end of each magnet was a picture of a dog showing his teeth. On the other end was a picture of the American flag.
Maybe there'd be something to smile about when this was done after all. Sparky would get a real kick out of these magnets. I started peeling them off the sides of the fridge and making a stack for my dog. Then I noticed what it was the magnets were keeping up.
It looked like not only being neat ran in Bo's family, being smart did too. The magnets were holding up a bunch of tests and certificates and stuff. All of them had the name KeeKee Wilson neatly printed in the upper right-hand corner. That must be Bo's little sister.
Here were a bunch of tests that she got As and Bs in addition on.
Here were a bunch of tests that she got perfect in spelling on.
Here was a room C Citizen of the Month award.
Here was a Book Worm award saying that she'd read eighteen library books in April.
Here was a report card that was tattooed with nothing but As and Bs.
And here were a bunch of one-page essays she'd got mostly As and B-plusses on.
The one on top was called “Admiration.”
She'd written, in penmanship better than mine, spaced out on the paper:
My big brother is 14.
He is smart.
He cares if I'm hungry.
He studies alot and works alot.
I admire him because he is going to fly the space shuddle.
And he keeps his promeses.
And he doesn't pull two hard when he brades my hair.
His name is Bo
And he loves me.
Maybe that would've been too much right there. But I might've been all right if the last four of Dontay Orlando Gaddy's magnets weren't holding up a picture colored with bright crayons. She'd got an A on it, too. Her teacher had written, “Great Work, KeeKee!” It was titled “My Family” and showed three people standing outside of a house with a chimney that had smoke coming out of it. There was a little band of blue sky across the top and a little band of green grass across the bottom. There were five or six “V”s in the empty area under the sky that were supposed to be birds. There was a giant daisy growing next to a little tree. The number on the house was 4309.
She'd drawn a dude and two ladies. The females had skirts that were perfect triangles.
The male was the tallest and was in a burgundy shirtand black pants. Him and one of the females, who was just a little shorter, were reaching their stick arms to their sides and had joined up the three stick fingers that were on each of their hands. They both had bright Crayola red smiles on their bright Crayola brown faces and two black dots for eyes. The female standing off to the side of these two was about half their size and, maybe
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