the use of the word “oblast,” is part of Russia.
Q:…right.
Scalzi: There’s a small preserve of them just north of Kirensk. Just follow the river and you’ll see them on the west bank. If you hit Yakutsk, you’ve gone too far.
Q: It just seems like an unusual sort of animal, evolutionarily speaking. For one thing, a cat mating with a unicorn.
Scalzi: Or a pegasus. Right, because of the genetics incompatibilities.
Q: I was more thinking that neither unicorns or pegasuses exist, actually.
Scalzi:Well, you know. The unicorn pegasus kitten project goes back to Soviet times. They were doing lots of mad scientist stuff back between the 30s and 50s. The legend has it that during the Second World War Joseph Stalin personally asked Trofim Lysenko to spearhead a hybridization project to develop adorable yet deadly animals to stalk and kill the invading Nazi armies all along the Eastern front. The unicorn pegasus kittens were a spectacular success; the zombie were-koalas, not so much.
Q: There’s still there the problem with the whole “mythical animals” thing.
Scalzi: Unfortunately when Lysenkoism was dropped as a Soviet science policy in the mid-60s, a lot of the paperwork on this project was inadvertently destroyed. There are a few gaps here and there. You can’t expect me to be able to explain everything .
Q: Even with their remote home, you’d think we would have heard about these things before. Because, you know. Unicorn pegasus kittens. They’re pretty marketable.
Scalzi: I think the official Russian government policy is to deny their existence. The Russians aren’t proud of everything their Soviet forebears did, and these experiments are one of those things it prefers not to talk about. If it officially recognizes the unicorn pegasus kittens, then it would also have to recognize The Great Zombie Were-Koala Plague of 1959, which wiped out half the population of the Yakut Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic. There would have to be reparations. Russia can’t afford that now.
Q: So how does one get a unicorn pegasus kitten from Irkutsk to Los Angeles?
Scalzi: Let’s just say you have to know a guy, and leave it at that.
Q: Okay. So when did you all manage to get together?
Scalzi: We did the posing in early April. I was out in LA on other business and so I was able to carve out a couple of hours from my schedule.
Q: Was doing the posing difficult?
Scalzi: No, Jeff’s a real pro. He took a lot of pictures for reference and did a quick sketch of us in our places, and then we were done. The hardest part was keeping the UPK in hover mode.
Q: Aside from the volcanoes, did Jeff take many liberties?
Scalzi: How do you mean?
Q: Well, Wil seems more pumped up, muscularly speaking, than he does in real life.
Scalzi: Are you kidding? Have you actually been in Wil’s presence?
Q: Well, no, I’ve just seen him in pictures.
Scalzi: Dude is ripped , man. I saw him changing his shirt at w00tstock. Each one of his six-pack has a six-pack. He’s got, like, a case-and-a-half pack. The pheromones that waft off him cause fish and amphibians to spontaneously change their sexes. Trust me, Jeff was totally working from life.
Q:I have to say he hides it well in pictures.
Scalzi: Well, the thing is, he’s almost always wearing oversize t-shirts. To hide his form. Because he’s married, you know. Happily. He knows better than to wantonly ignite lust wherever he goes. It’s just not fair to his many admirers.
Q: So you’re saying he’s keeping his awesome musculature under wraps…for the fans.
Scalzi: That’s just the sort of incredibly cool guy he is. I mean, have you ever heard of any other public figure who would do something like that?
Q: Honestly, no.
Scalzi: Exactly. So in some ways it’s a treat from them that the clown sweater shows his true and ample dimensions.
Q: Not to mention the blue hot pants.
Scalzi: I suppose
Q:…right.
Scalzi: There’s a small preserve of them just north of Kirensk. Just follow the river and you’ll see them on the west bank. If you hit Yakutsk, you’ve gone too far.
Q: It just seems like an unusual sort of animal, evolutionarily speaking. For one thing, a cat mating with a unicorn.
Scalzi: Or a pegasus. Right, because of the genetics incompatibilities.
Q: I was more thinking that neither unicorns or pegasuses exist, actually.
Scalzi:Well, you know. The unicorn pegasus kitten project goes back to Soviet times. They were doing lots of mad scientist stuff back between the 30s and 50s. The legend has it that during the Second World War Joseph Stalin personally asked Trofim Lysenko to spearhead a hybridization project to develop adorable yet deadly animals to stalk and kill the invading Nazi armies all along the Eastern front. The unicorn pegasus kittens were a spectacular success; the zombie were-koalas, not so much.
Q: There’s still there the problem with the whole “mythical animals” thing.
Scalzi: Unfortunately when Lysenkoism was dropped as a Soviet science policy in the mid-60s, a lot of the paperwork on this project was inadvertently destroyed. There are a few gaps here and there. You can’t expect me to be able to explain everything .
Q: Even with their remote home, you’d think we would have heard about these things before. Because, you know. Unicorn pegasus kittens. They’re pretty marketable.
Scalzi: I think the official Russian government policy is to deny their existence. The Russians aren’t proud of everything their Soviet forebears did, and these experiments are one of those things it prefers not to talk about. If it officially recognizes the unicorn pegasus kittens, then it would also have to recognize The Great Zombie Were-Koala Plague of 1959, which wiped out half the population of the Yakut Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic. There would have to be reparations. Russia can’t afford that now.
Q: So how does one get a unicorn pegasus kitten from Irkutsk to Los Angeles?
Scalzi: Let’s just say you have to know a guy, and leave it at that.
Q: Okay. So when did you all manage to get together?
Scalzi: We did the posing in early April. I was out in LA on other business and so I was able to carve out a couple of hours from my schedule.
Q: Was doing the posing difficult?
Scalzi: No, Jeff’s a real pro. He took a lot of pictures for reference and did a quick sketch of us in our places, and then we were done. The hardest part was keeping the UPK in hover mode.
Q: Aside from the volcanoes, did Jeff take many liberties?
Scalzi: How do you mean?
Q: Well, Wil seems more pumped up, muscularly speaking, than he does in real life.
Scalzi: Are you kidding? Have you actually been in Wil’s presence?
Q: Well, no, I’ve just seen him in pictures.
Scalzi: Dude is ripped , man. I saw him changing his shirt at w00tstock. Each one of his six-pack has a six-pack. He’s got, like, a case-and-a-half pack. The pheromones that waft off him cause fish and amphibians to spontaneously change their sexes. Trust me, Jeff was totally working from life.
Q:I have to say he hides it well in pictures.
Scalzi: Well, the thing is, he’s almost always wearing oversize t-shirts. To hide his form. Because he’s married, you know. Happily. He knows better than to wantonly ignite lust wherever he goes. It’s just not fair to his many admirers.
Q: So you’re saying he’s keeping his awesome musculature under wraps…for the fans.
Scalzi: That’s just the sort of incredibly cool guy he is. I mean, have you ever heard of any other public figure who would do something like that?
Q: Honestly, no.
Scalzi: Exactly. So in some ways it’s a treat from them that the clown sweater shows his true and ample dimensions.
Q: Not to mention the blue hot pants.
Scalzi: I suppose
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