mannered but insistent little kid who couldn’t quite rest until he had a definite answer. “I will stay. I will help, okay?”
My God, what a smile! I looked away. The charm and the flash of it came out of nowhere, and I didn’t want to watch it fade when he realised how little I’d done to deserve it. I went to sit down on a rock, one of the beautiful blocks of polished gneiss that cropped out of the sand along here. To my surprise he followed me and sat down too. There was barely enough room for both of us, but he still managed to keep a good three inches of space in between.
“It’s okay,” I told him. “If you’re worried about, er, the gay thing or anything. I’m not into hitting on strangers. And I’m attached.”
“I’m not worried,” he said, as flatly as I deserved for such an outrageous lie. “I just don’t like touching people. I offended you when I wouldn’t shake your hand.”
“I wasn’t offended.” Another lie. Why was I trying to hide little things about me when I’d already told him the worst? “Okay, I was. But there must have been touching involved when you carried me indoors.”
“I said I don’t like it, not that I can’t.”
So haughty, as if it should be obvious. He sounded very English on pronouncements such as that. I was needled in spite of myself. “What makes you the lord of the manor around here—handing out chalets to the peasantry and suchlike, when they’re not yours to give? And why would you want to heat empty huts?”
“Are you always this aggressive, Mallory?”
I leapt upright. “I am no’ aggressive!” My dad was aggressive. That was who was aggressive around here, and I’d seen and suffered so much of it that I knew way better than to turn it on anyone else. I marched to the edge of the sea, which sighed at me and snaked an icy wavelet at my boots as if in reproach. I turned around and went back to Vivian, hands in my pockets. “I’m sorry. I wondered what you were doing out here, that’s all.”
“I’m working.”
“Oh. You mean you have a job here, someone employing you to fix up the wires?”
“Not quite. I’m a particle physicist.”
I sat back down again, this time careful to observe his three-inch rule. If he was nuts or deluded, I ought to treat him carefully. Sure, he’d disappeared off to university at around the same time I and my North Kerra mates had been finding work in factories and shipyards, but particle physicists went to CERN to poke holes in the fabric of the universe, didn’t they? They didn’t stick around to blow up toasters in the backside of beyond.
“Okay,” I said cautiously. “And what does that entail?”
“A lot of thinking, mostly. Silence, solitude. Miles and miles of cables.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “My father said I could remain here and use up the time I had left for my work. He understood about silence, and thinking, and time.”
I’d never had a father who understood anything more abstract than next week’s lottery numbers. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose one. I looked into his face, but his elegant profile was impassive. He was probably thinking about his wiring again, and my condolences for his loss died on my lips. “When do the developers move in?”
“They’re not developers. I don’t know where that rumour came from, unless NorthEx started it themselves as a cover.”
That rang a deep Peace Warrior bell in my mind. I tried to resist—that part of my life was over—but the fragments of memory flew in. A name on a list of illegal Arctic drillers, painted on the side of a giant North Sea rig. “NorthEx… The oil company NorthEx?”
“That’s right.”
“What the hell do they want here?”
“A new field’s been discovered off Durness. This site will be ideal for the refinery.”
I sat up straight. My guts twisted coldly. I’d already made the gesture of leaping up and walking away, so I sat very still. This
My God, what a smile! I looked away. The charm and the flash of it came out of nowhere, and I didn’t want to watch it fade when he realised how little I’d done to deserve it. I went to sit down on a rock, one of the beautiful blocks of polished gneiss that cropped out of the sand along here. To my surprise he followed me and sat down too. There was barely enough room for both of us, but he still managed to keep a good three inches of space in between.
“It’s okay,” I told him. “If you’re worried about, er, the gay thing or anything. I’m not into hitting on strangers. And I’m attached.”
“I’m not worried,” he said, as flatly as I deserved for such an outrageous lie. “I just don’t like touching people. I offended you when I wouldn’t shake your hand.”
“I wasn’t offended.” Another lie. Why was I trying to hide little things about me when I’d already told him the worst? “Okay, I was. But there must have been touching involved when you carried me indoors.”
“I said I don’t like it, not that I can’t.”
So haughty, as if it should be obvious. He sounded very English on pronouncements such as that. I was needled in spite of myself. “What makes you the lord of the manor around here—handing out chalets to the peasantry and suchlike, when they’re not yours to give? And why would you want to heat empty huts?”
“Are you always this aggressive, Mallory?”
I leapt upright. “I am no’ aggressive!” My dad was aggressive. That was who was aggressive around here, and I’d seen and suffered so much of it that I knew way better than to turn it on anyone else. I marched to the edge of the sea, which sighed at me and snaked an icy wavelet at my boots as if in reproach. I turned around and went back to Vivian, hands in my pockets. “I’m sorry. I wondered what you were doing out here, that’s all.”
“I’m working.”
“Oh. You mean you have a job here, someone employing you to fix up the wires?”
“Not quite. I’m a particle physicist.”
I sat back down again, this time careful to observe his three-inch rule. If he was nuts or deluded, I ought to treat him carefully. Sure, he’d disappeared off to university at around the same time I and my North Kerra mates had been finding work in factories and shipyards, but particle physicists went to CERN to poke holes in the fabric of the universe, didn’t they? They didn’t stick around to blow up toasters in the backside of beyond.
“Okay,” I said cautiously. “And what does that entail?”
“A lot of thinking, mostly. Silence, solitude. Miles and miles of cables.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “My father said I could remain here and use up the time I had left for my work. He understood about silence, and thinking, and time.”
I’d never had a father who understood anything more abstract than next week’s lottery numbers. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose one. I looked into his face, but his elegant profile was impassive. He was probably thinking about his wiring again, and my condolences for his loss died on my lips. “When do the developers move in?”
“They’re not developers. I don’t know where that rumour came from, unless NorthEx started it themselves as a cover.”
That rang a deep Peace Warrior bell in my mind. I tried to resist—that part of my life was over—but the fragments of memory flew in. A name on a list of illegal Arctic drillers, painted on the side of a giant North Sea rig. “NorthEx… The oil company NorthEx?”
“That’s right.”
“What the hell do they want here?”
“A new field’s been discovered off Durness. This site will be ideal for the refinery.”
I sat up straight. My guts twisted coldly. I’d already made the gesture of leaping up and walking away, so I sat very still. This
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