relieved. “Thank you for that, David. Very, very much.” Her chair creaked as she shifted slightly in it. “Anyway… There are several options that might help you deal with your condition. I don’t think you’ll like any of them.”
“Try me,” I suggested. “Something’s got to better than… This.”
“We could give you drugs,” she explained. “To reduce your libido. But I’ll warn you—they’ll make you more passive as well. More accepting of the status-quo, like the other Rabbits. The two are inextricably linked in your kind.” Her brows knitted. “David… You’ve already done a lot both for the House and for bunnies everywhere. Most Rabbits are actually very happy creatures, deep down where it matters. For the first time, you’d truly be one of your own kind. It’d be quite a change for you, yes. A profound change, even. But—”
“No,” I replied. “There’s too much at stake. If it were only about me, well… I might consider it. But… No.”
“All right. Another option is to modify a doe for you. While Frieda was meant to appeal to you on many levels—her intelligence, personality, even her physical appearance—the prime factor involved is one of scent. If we can make a doe smell enough like Frieda, that just might do the trick.”
I felt the corners of my mouth twist downwards into a scowl. “Are you telling me—“
“Yes,” she interrupted. “I am. We’re all animals in a sense, David, including we humans. Scent is important to us. I know that this seems a bit demeaning, but—“
“No,” I replied. “Even if it amounts to pretty much the same thing as… Well, just ‘no’.”
“I wouldn’t either,” she admitted. “That’s probably why I’m a spinster, or at least part of it.” Her smile faded. “That leaves only one last alternative, David.”
“And that is?”
“Tough it out, kiddo. Get a counselor to help you deal with the emotional void, take long, cold showers to help with the physical need… Think of it as an incurable illness, and find ways to minimize your suffering. Because it is an illness in a sense, you see, and one that’s not likely to ever get any better. It won’t be easy, but you can do this if you really try. It won’t break you—I know it won’t!”
I looked down at the floor. But I needed Frieda so much! “How do you know?” I asked. “Because you’re still single yourself? Or is it because you were the one who designed me?”
“Neither,” she replied, crossing her arms. “It’s because I knew your father. Who had to deal with exactly the same situation after your mom’s accident, if you think about it. And you know what? If anything, he was the stronger for it.”
11
I spent the next few months wondering if Dr. Cunningham had spoken the magic words on purpose, or if it was merely fortuitous. “If your father could take it, so can you,” she’d as much as said. And that was that; she’d cited the highest authority possible. I didn’t respect anyone or anything like I did my father, and the highest praise anyone could offer was to compare me to him. After that, if anything I took pride in my suffering. It was one more thing I shared in common with the greatest Rabbit I’d ever known.
The cold showers helped too.
The psychiatrists of old had been obsessed with sexuality; they claimed that repressed urges always came out somewhere else. In my case I deliberately emulated Dad and threw myself into my work harder than ever. Perhaps the habit made me a bit dull socially, but it certainly got things done! My ground-facilities experts suggested that we take over one corner of a shipyard in Lord Hubert City, and I backed their decision wholeheartedly. Sure, the Imperials had wrecked the place. But then again they’d wrecked everything else on the planet as well, and in this case at least they’d made a less-than-thorough job of it. The drydock was of
“Try me,” I suggested. “Something’s got to better than… This.”
“We could give you drugs,” she explained. “To reduce your libido. But I’ll warn you—they’ll make you more passive as well. More accepting of the status-quo, like the other Rabbits. The two are inextricably linked in your kind.” Her brows knitted. “David… You’ve already done a lot both for the House and for bunnies everywhere. Most Rabbits are actually very happy creatures, deep down where it matters. For the first time, you’d truly be one of your own kind. It’d be quite a change for you, yes. A profound change, even. But—”
“No,” I replied. “There’s too much at stake. If it were only about me, well… I might consider it. But… No.”
“All right. Another option is to modify a doe for you. While Frieda was meant to appeal to you on many levels—her intelligence, personality, even her physical appearance—the prime factor involved is one of scent. If we can make a doe smell enough like Frieda, that just might do the trick.”
I felt the corners of my mouth twist downwards into a scowl. “Are you telling me—“
“Yes,” she interrupted. “I am. We’re all animals in a sense, David, including we humans. Scent is important to us. I know that this seems a bit demeaning, but—“
“No,” I replied. “Even if it amounts to pretty much the same thing as… Well, just ‘no’.”
“I wouldn’t either,” she admitted. “That’s probably why I’m a spinster, or at least part of it.” Her smile faded. “That leaves only one last alternative, David.”
“And that is?”
“Tough it out, kiddo. Get a counselor to help you deal with the emotional void, take long, cold showers to help with the physical need… Think of it as an incurable illness, and find ways to minimize your suffering. Because it is an illness in a sense, you see, and one that’s not likely to ever get any better. It won’t be easy, but you can do this if you really try. It won’t break you—I know it won’t!”
I looked down at the floor. But I needed Frieda so much! “How do you know?” I asked. “Because you’re still single yourself? Or is it because you were the one who designed me?”
“Neither,” she replied, crossing her arms. “It’s because I knew your father. Who had to deal with exactly the same situation after your mom’s accident, if you think about it. And you know what? If anything, he was the stronger for it.”
11
I spent the next few months wondering if Dr. Cunningham had spoken the magic words on purpose, or if it was merely fortuitous. “If your father could take it, so can you,” she’d as much as said. And that was that; she’d cited the highest authority possible. I didn’t respect anyone or anything like I did my father, and the highest praise anyone could offer was to compare me to him. After that, if anything I took pride in my suffering. It was one more thing I shared in common with the greatest Rabbit I’d ever known.
The cold showers helped too.
The psychiatrists of old had been obsessed with sexuality; they claimed that repressed urges always came out somewhere else. In my case I deliberately emulated Dad and threw myself into my work harder than ever. Perhaps the habit made me a bit dull socially, but it certainly got things done! My ground-facilities experts suggested that we take over one corner of a shipyard in Lord Hubert City, and I backed their decision wholeheartedly. Sure, the Imperials had wrecked the place. But then again they’d wrecked everything else on the planet as well, and in this case at least they’d made a less-than-thorough job of it. The drydock was of
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