“It’s my job; I’m Customs here. Give me your keys.”
‘He saw that I was serious, and realized that the tanker was still in the harbour and able to take him off; I could refuse to put him up at my house and so he would have to go back in her. He threw me the keys with very bad grace, and Durnsford politely handed me his. They were numbered keys, so I had no trouble finding the right boxes for them.
‘That evening I cooked the supper and Morgan gota mess kit out of his tin trunk to eat it in. The man Morgan actually tried to old-soldier Papa Johnson with his row of ribbons. And do you know what they were? Child, one was the Coronation ribbon and one was the Durbar ribbon and one was the Osmanieh, which one gets almost as a matter of routine if one is seconded to the Egyptian Army, and the fourth and last was the M.V.O. of the Third Class.So, pretending to be dazzled, I went off with the frying pan in my hand and changed into my old campaigning tunic, which sported Ashanti, Egypt, China, King’s and Queen’s medals South Africa, and North-West Frontier. Not a routine ribbon among them; they made his display look pretty sick. But I had only two stars up, so he tried to high-hat me with his crown.
‘Believe me, child, there was thedevil to pay about my embargo on wines and spirits; he had brought out twenty cases of Scotch. At first he didn’t realize that Scotch was not drunk on Desolation Island. He saidthat in his opinion it would have been courteous of me, perhaps, to have put a bottle of my own stuff on the table, since I had not taken off any of his with the first boatload. But when I explained how it was, he wentup in the air and bellowed at me as though he was in his Orderly Room and I was a poor devil of a Sudanese recruit. I won’t repeat what he said, child, because a nurse might come in and catch a word or two and misunderstand. I was pleasant but firm; reminding him that I was Lord Chief Justice and Lord High Executioner and everything else on the island and that what I said went. Professor Durnsfordhad been a witness to his threats, I said, and I would subpoena him, if necessary, for the trial. And I quoted
Alice in Wonderland:
“I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury,” said cunning old Fury, “I’ll try the whole cause and condemn you to death.”
‘“You can’t prevent me bringing it ashore,” he said at last.
‘“Can’t I?” I said, in nasty tones, showing my Colt.
‘He broke into worse language than everand the only true things he said about me were that I must be a little insane and that I had a face like Dan Leno on one of his off-nights. He ended: “Remember these words, for they are the last I shall address to you while I remain on this island.” I answered, improving on poor Dan Leno: “Ha, Comma, Ha, among the trumpets. I’m Job’s war horse, and I scent the battle from afar.”
‘Morgan keptit up throughout the meal. If he wanted the salt or beans or mustard when they happened to be right close to my plate, he would ask Durnsford, who sat between us, to pass them to him. I had decided to ship Morgan back home with his whisky the very next day, but when he started this baby game of sending me to Coventry, I was so pleased that I decided to keep him with me. As you know, child, I lovebaby games. It was a nice game, because Morgan and I held the cards and Durnsford was pool for the winner to take. Not that I cared much about Durnsford then, but he seemed a decent little Pekinese of a man, too good to go coupled with an ill-tempered great mastiff like Morgan. They had arranged to come on this expedition together, by letter, before actually meeting. Morgan had written that he couldget permission from the New Zealand Government for them both to put up at my house; and Pekey Durnsford was glad of a companion. Neither of them had been in the Antarctic before.
‘Durnsford was the best possible “kitty” for our game of nap; he tried to be so neutral. Of course, I didn’t go
‘He saw that I was serious, and realized that the tanker was still in the harbour and able to take him off; I could refuse to put him up at my house and so he would have to go back in her. He threw me the keys with very bad grace, and Durnsford politely handed me his. They were numbered keys, so I had no trouble finding the right boxes for them.
‘That evening I cooked the supper and Morgan gota mess kit out of his tin trunk to eat it in. The man Morgan actually tried to old-soldier Papa Johnson with his row of ribbons. And do you know what they were? Child, one was the Coronation ribbon and one was the Durbar ribbon and one was the Osmanieh, which one gets almost as a matter of routine if one is seconded to the Egyptian Army, and the fourth and last was the M.V.O. of the Third Class.So, pretending to be dazzled, I went off with the frying pan in my hand and changed into my old campaigning tunic, which sported Ashanti, Egypt, China, King’s and Queen’s medals South Africa, and North-West Frontier. Not a routine ribbon among them; they made his display look pretty sick. But I had only two stars up, so he tried to high-hat me with his crown.
‘Believe me, child, there was thedevil to pay about my embargo on wines and spirits; he had brought out twenty cases of Scotch. At first he didn’t realize that Scotch was not drunk on Desolation Island. He saidthat in his opinion it would have been courteous of me, perhaps, to have put a bottle of my own stuff on the table, since I had not taken off any of his with the first boatload. But when I explained how it was, he wentup in the air and bellowed at me as though he was in his Orderly Room and I was a poor devil of a Sudanese recruit. I won’t repeat what he said, child, because a nurse might come in and catch a word or two and misunderstand. I was pleasant but firm; reminding him that I was Lord Chief Justice and Lord High Executioner and everything else on the island and that what I said went. Professor Durnsfordhad been a witness to his threats, I said, and I would subpoena him, if necessary, for the trial. And I quoted
Alice in Wonderland:
“I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury,” said cunning old Fury, “I’ll try the whole cause and condemn you to death.”
‘“You can’t prevent me bringing it ashore,” he said at last.
‘“Can’t I?” I said, in nasty tones, showing my Colt.
‘He broke into worse language than everand the only true things he said about me were that I must be a little insane and that I had a face like Dan Leno on one of his off-nights. He ended: “Remember these words, for they are the last I shall address to you while I remain on this island.” I answered, improving on poor Dan Leno: “Ha, Comma, Ha, among the trumpets. I’m Job’s war horse, and I scent the battle from afar.”
‘Morgan keptit up throughout the meal. If he wanted the salt or beans or mustard when they happened to be right close to my plate, he would ask Durnsford, who sat between us, to pass them to him. I had decided to ship Morgan back home with his whisky the very next day, but when he started this baby game of sending me to Coventry, I was so pleased that I decided to keep him with me. As you know, child, I lovebaby games. It was a nice game, because Morgan and I held the cards and Durnsford was pool for the winner to take. Not that I cared much about Durnsford then, but he seemed a decent little Pekinese of a man, too good to go coupled with an ill-tempered great mastiff like Morgan. They had arranged to come on this expedition together, by letter, before actually meeting. Morgan had written that he couldget permission from the New Zealand Government for them both to put up at my house; and Pekey Durnsford was glad of a companion. Neither of them had been in the Antarctic before.
‘Durnsford was the best possible “kitty” for our game of nap; he tried to be so neutral. Of course, I didn’t go
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