about my accommodations.
The bus arrived, and I boarded. Only a few weary eyed passengers sat in the seats. I took a spot near the front, feeling the need for the driver’s protection. It didn’t matter. I knew I was fucked.
The bus dropped me off just a few blocks from the hotel I’d found on my phone. I strode down the street in the over-sized flip-flops, trying to pretend like a bad ass. My blood buzzed through my veins as the cool night air hit my bare legs. A dark face passed me, covered in a hood. His eyes gleamed through the shadows.
Cars zipped by on the four-lane street. A woman in short, glittery shorts bent into the open passenger window of a car. I kept my eyes straight ahead as I made it to the hotel.
The dingy interior of the hotel office felt like a port in a storm as I pushed through the glass door. A small old Asian man sat behind the counter. I handed him my bankcard and took a room key.
As I walked to my second floor room, the sound of drunken laughter mixed with angry shouts. I quickly pushed the key in the door and then locked myself inside. The room had worn office grade carpet and two queen sized beds covered in scratchy thin comforters.
I felt too tired to care. I had work in the morning and school started in three days. Pulling back the blankets, I collapsed on the bed and passed out.
I woke early, pounded the coffee I’d bought the night before, and dialed Stacy’s number until she finally answered.
“Zoe?” she said with sleep in her voice.
“Listen Stacy, I had to get out of the house last night. Chris tried to rape me. I’m not going back there.”
“What the fuck? You need to call the cops.”
“No. I don’t want anyone to know. I just want to get out of there without Max knowing I’m leaving.”
“That’s bullshit, Zoe. We need to call the police.”
“There’s no proof. He didn’t actually rape me. He won’t even get arrested. It will just make everything worse. I don’t want to give Max ammunition to keep my stuff.”
“If you’re leaving, I’m leaving.”
“I need you to bring me some clothes so I can work today. After work, we can figure out how to get our stuff out of the house without them finding out. I’m staying at a hotel on Aurora Avenue.”
I gave her my address and an hour later, she stood outside my hotel room door. I let her inside, and she sat on the bed, grimacing.
“This place is totally sketch.”
“I know, but it’s cheap. I’m so low on cash and I don’t get paid for a week. Even that will be so small it’s ridiculous.”
“Maybe I should call my dad?”
“If you want, but I don’t want Claire to worry. She was so cool about me leaving. I don’t want to disappoint her.”
“Zoe, your sister isn’t going to think worse of you if you need help.”
“She’s done enough for me. I’m going to figure it out myself. If you want to call your dad, go ahead.”
“Fine. We’ll figure it out ourselves. Dad will probably just tell me to come home anyway.”
She left me my work clothes and drove away in her pickup to go to her job. I showered, changed, and took the bus back over to Ballard to get to my shift at the sandwich shop.
I came into work greeted by my manager, Todd, a pimply faced guy in his early twenties, and Darcy, a teenage girl who worked there part time during the summer.
Darcy waved at me from behind the sandwich counter and Todd looked up at me from a clipboard and gave me an unenthusiastic hello. I washed my hands and pulled a green apron over my head.
The normality of work always made me feel more at ease. Most people my age hated working, but I depended on the routine to normalize my otherwise crazy existence. I liked feeling useful and stable.
Up front, Darcy babbled about her boyfriend while I ran lettuce through the shredder behind the counter. I nodded and gave her the appropriate response whenever she needed it. I couldn’t exactly reciprocate with a personal story of my own. My life was ten
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