Costume Not Included by Matthew Hughes Page B

while the young man worked it through. "So," he said, when the thinking was done, "do we have an alliance?"
      Chesney did not answer right away. "What would be my part in it?" he said.
      "First, read the Book of Chesney, and see what you think of it."
      "I don't need to read it. I glanced through it once, and that was enough. It is full of things that never happened, and never will."
      "Know thine enemy's mind," said Lucifer, "always seemed part of a good strategy to me."
      Chesney had to agree. "All right," he said, "I'll read it. Then what?"
      "Then we'll see."
      "You don't get my soul."
      Lucifer snorted. "I wouldn't let your soul anywhere near my realm," he said. "You, young man, are trouble."
      And then he was gone.
      "Xaphan!" Chesney called.
      "Here, boss." The demon emerged from the mist.
      "What do you think?"
      "I don't think, boss. Way I see it, it just leads to trouble."
      "As the sparks fly up," Chesney quoted.
      "Say what?"
      "Never mind. Are Melda and my mother still going at it?"
      "Nah," said Xaphan. "In this place, we're out of time. I can put you back right when we left."
      The prospect of stepping back into the middle of a fight between the two women in his life did not entice Chesney. He thought for a moment, then said, "If I was called away to fight crime, I could just leave them to get on with it, couldn't I?"
      "I ain't gonna argue," said his assistant.
      "Then what have we got?"
      "Crimewise? You mean in that burgh of yours?"
      "Yes."
      "Coupla muggin's. And there's this stock boy gonna swipe some steaks from the supermarket when he gets off work."
      "That's it?"
      "It's a quiet night. It's too bad you didn't ask me sooner. There was a murder just before we come out to see his nibs."
      "What! A murder! Why didn't you say anything?"
      "I wasn't on duty. You was gettin' ready to have dinner with mom and the missus. I didn't wanna–"
      Chesney cut him off. "Wait, when was the murder? When exactly?"
      Xaphan produced the big old pocket watch that was attached to the chain that ran across its waistcoat. The demon flipped the gold case open and studied the dial, then said, "Bout five seconds ago, your time."
      "So is the victim actually dead?"
      Xaphan thought about it. "Depends on what you mean by dead. Heart's stopped. Breathin's stopped. Body's on the floor. Brain is windin' down."
      "So not brain dead?"
      "Nah. But pretty soon."
      Chesney was thinking. "Listen," he said, "when we step outside of the world, we step outside of time, right?"
      "Always."
      "Okay. Now, I've never asked you this, but when we step back in, do we have to come in exactly when we left off?"
      Xaphan's weasel brow wrinkled. "I think we're suppose'ta."
      "But do we have ta?'"
      The demon's brow wrinkled even more deeply. "I guess not," it said, after a moment.
      "So if I said, 'Let's go back into the world just before the murder, just in time to prevent it,' how would that be?"
      Xaphan's brow cleared. "Okay," it said, "I know this one. If someone's dead, they have to stay dead, cause otherwise you're calling a soul back from our place, or the other place, and that's not kosher. Traffic goes oneway, ya see?"
      "Oh," said Chesney, "I guess that makes sense. Too bad, then."
      "Wait," said the demon, "I ain't finished yet. You can… what's the word when you bring a dead body sorta back, so you can order it around?"
      "Reanimate? Zombie? Frankenstein?"
      "That's the one! Alphonse and me, and some of the boys, we went to see that picture. Did I laugh!"
      "But I don't want to reanimate a corpse," said Chesney.
      "You sure? They can be a lotta fun at a party."
      "I'm sure. So, dead is dead, and I can't prevent the murder."
      "Oh, sure you can," said his demon. "I was gettin' to it. If the soul hasn't actually taken a powder, you can deal yourself in a little before the deadly deed. Then the