of the castle. I didn't really need him to do all that, since the pain wasn't that bad anymore, but I let him since I sensed it made him feel better. He helped me go through the door and then put me on the bed. Hundreds of vases with beautiful flowers filled the entire room and made it look more like a garden than a bedroom.
"They're beautiful," I said and smelled a turquoise rose.
"Only the best for you my dear," Mick said. He smiled with a sigh. "You have no idea how wonderful it is to have you back ... to have you home."
"You have no idea how good it feels to be back here. To be in the light again, to be able to see." I chuckled and reached out to touch his face gently. "To be able to see the ones you love, to look into their eyes, to see the colors of the flowers, to smell them, to ... well to not be in complete darkness. I tell you it was scary in there ..." I was about to say more, but realized that it was too painful for Mick to hear. His eyes were strained and torn with guilt.
"It must have been so awful for you," Mick said. He seemed perplexed like he didn't know how to react, or what to do. He brought me another pillow.
"I think I have enough now," I laughed and pointed at the ten giant pillows already on the bed.
"I'm sorry," Mick said. "I just want to make sure you're comfortable."
I smiled and looked into his blue eyes. "I know you do," I said. "You're always so good to me. You always have been."
Mick grabbed my hands in his and held them tight. Then he kissed them with his eyes closed. "I will never fail you again," he said while lowering his eyes to not look into mine.
"Mick. Look at me," I said.
He lifted his head and looked at me.
"You never failed me."
"Yes I did. A husband is supposed to protect his wife, and I failed at doing so."
I exhaled. "I know you think that, but where I come from a woman is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. There was nothing you could have done differently. I already said that earlier and I'll repeat it until you understand it."
Mick let go of my hand and turned away. He got up and floated to the window. "I was the one who put you in danger. I never should have brought you on such a dangerous trip. You trusted me, you put your life in my hands and I didn't live up to my responsibility. That is the cold fact. I'm determined to make up for it."
I stared at him. His back was still turned to me; his arms behind his back. I had no idea what to say to him. It was clear we came from very different worlds and there was no way I could change the way he saw things just like there was no way he could change mine. I hated that he blamed himself so much for what I thought of as merely an unfortunate accident. I was ready to put it all behind us and move on, but Mick seemed determined to remind himself of his failure and remind us both of what might have happened.
It was like it had hurt his pride and he felt it had also hurt my opinion of him, changed the way I saw him as a husband and a protector.
But that was his way of thinking, not mine.
C HAPTER 12
I N THE COMING days I slowly came to understand how much this event had actually hurt Mick and how much it was about to change everything in our relationship. I stayed in bed as Raphael had told me to and Mick simply didn't leave me alone at all. He was constantly there, waiting for me to ask for something to eat, or drink or an extra pillow or whatever I could make up just to keep him busy so he would feel like he was needed, that he was a good husband. If I didn't ask him for something he would just keep asking me if there was anything I wanted, anything he could get for me and it almost drove me nuts. I, on the other hand, kept busy reading my baby books, but even they began to bore me eventually. So after three days in bed reading all there was to know about spirit-babies and giving birth, I finally closed the book and put it on the table. Mick was sitting in a chair by the window looking at me and
"They're beautiful," I said and smelled a turquoise rose.
"Only the best for you my dear," Mick said. He smiled with a sigh. "You have no idea how wonderful it is to have you back ... to have you home."
"You have no idea how good it feels to be back here. To be in the light again, to be able to see." I chuckled and reached out to touch his face gently. "To be able to see the ones you love, to look into their eyes, to see the colors of the flowers, to smell them, to ... well to not be in complete darkness. I tell you it was scary in there ..." I was about to say more, but realized that it was too painful for Mick to hear. His eyes were strained and torn with guilt.
"It must have been so awful for you," Mick said. He seemed perplexed like he didn't know how to react, or what to do. He brought me another pillow.
"I think I have enough now," I laughed and pointed at the ten giant pillows already on the bed.
"I'm sorry," Mick said. "I just want to make sure you're comfortable."
I smiled and looked into his blue eyes. "I know you do," I said. "You're always so good to me. You always have been."
Mick grabbed my hands in his and held them tight. Then he kissed them with his eyes closed. "I will never fail you again," he said while lowering his eyes to not look into mine.
"Mick. Look at me," I said.
He lifted his head and looked at me.
"You never failed me."
"Yes I did. A husband is supposed to protect his wife, and I failed at doing so."
I exhaled. "I know you think that, but where I come from a woman is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. There was nothing you could have done differently. I already said that earlier and I'll repeat it until you understand it."
Mick let go of my hand and turned away. He got up and floated to the window. "I was the one who put you in danger. I never should have brought you on such a dangerous trip. You trusted me, you put your life in my hands and I didn't live up to my responsibility. That is the cold fact. I'm determined to make up for it."
I stared at him. His back was still turned to me; his arms behind his back. I had no idea what to say to him. It was clear we came from very different worlds and there was no way I could change the way he saw things just like there was no way he could change mine. I hated that he blamed himself so much for what I thought of as merely an unfortunate accident. I was ready to put it all behind us and move on, but Mick seemed determined to remind himself of his failure and remind us both of what might have happened.
It was like it had hurt his pride and he felt it had also hurt my opinion of him, changed the way I saw him as a husband and a protector.
But that was his way of thinking, not mine.
C HAPTER 12
I N THE COMING days I slowly came to understand how much this event had actually hurt Mick and how much it was about to change everything in our relationship. I stayed in bed as Raphael had told me to and Mick simply didn't leave me alone at all. He was constantly there, waiting for me to ask for something to eat, or drink or an extra pillow or whatever I could make up just to keep him busy so he would feel like he was needed, that he was a good husband. If I didn't ask him for something he would just keep asking me if there was anything I wanted, anything he could get for me and it almost drove me nuts. I, on the other hand, kept busy reading my baby books, but even they began to bore me eventually. So after three days in bed reading all there was to know about spirit-babies and giving birth, I finally closed the book and put it on the table. Mick was sitting in a chair by the window looking at me and
Similar Books
