seeing the confirmation of my fears on his face reopened the wound.
“It was just sex with them. I thought maybe I could forget the pain for a while, but all it did was remind me that no one would ever be you. Anyway, it sounds like you had some fun of your own!”
He was starting to raise his voice and I didn’t like. I got up and put my bathrobe on. It didn’t feel right to be naked with him anymore.
“To tell you the truth, I just started seeing someone. His name is Austin, and he’s a gentleman. He treats me like a queen, and I don’t have to beg him to like me like I had to with you. He found me crying over you and dried my tears. He wants to help me pick up the pieces of my shattered life. The life that you left in ruins, Mason!”
I should have known the sex wouldn’t have solved anything. It was a natural reaction to being close to someone I missed and loved. But now he was going right back to being the old Mason. He was putting his walls right back up and accusing me when he had been the one who walked out on the relationship we had built.
“Who the fuck does this Austin guy think he is? He doesn’t know shit about what we went through. He has no idea how much I loved you. How much I still love you. Are you in a relationship with him?”
“I have only gone out with him once, but I like him already. He at least stayed long enough to dry my tears instead of running from them. And no, he doesn’t know what we went through. The only people who know about that are me, you, and the doctor. I didn’t tell anyone, Mason! I have been dealing with this huge loss alone. How can I ever forgive you for that?”
He got out of bed and started getting dressed. I was so angry that I couldn’t admire his naked body. I was so mad at him that I was shaking, and the room suddenly felt very cold. When he was dressed, he didn’t walk out like I expected. Instead, he came and stood right in front of me.
“Jamie, I don’t care what anyone else says. You and I belong together. I made a huge mistake, but I will make it up to you. I will show you that I am better for you than Austin. You just need to give me a chance.”
He was begging, and it tugged at my heart, but I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget.
“I know that you’re sorry, but it takes more than that to prove that you’re ready for the future. What if we had a child and you decided it was too much for you then? I can’t take that chance without knowing for sure. I need time.”
“I will give you time, but I’m not going anywhere. I will be wooing you and showing you that you are everything I could ever want and need. You are never going to doubt me again.”
My heart wanted to believe what he was saying, but my head knew better.
“I think you should go now. I need time to process all of this. I need to think about whether I can let you back in.”
“Okay, I’ll go. But I hope you will consider it seriously. Baby, I love you so much. You will have my heart until the day I die.”
“I will always love you, too. I just don’t know if it’s enough to save us. I will talk to you soon.”
“I’ll be waiting. I love you, Jamie.”
He leaned over and kissed me softly and turned to walk away. As he was leaving, I said the words that I knew would leave him reeling. Words that I hadn’t spoken to anyone.
“By the way, it was a girl.”
He turned around with wide eyes full of tears, nodded, and walked out of the room.
Talking about her made it real again. She was too small to survive. It was too soon. But Mason hadn’t stuck around to find that out. I had even named her without him. I had a little box with memories of her hidden in the top corner of my closet. I was a mother, and no one knew but Mason and my doctor.
Since it hurt too much to think about her, I pushed the memories aside and focused on the issues at hand. Mason was back and expected me to fall into his arms.
Then there was Austin, with his promises of always being a gentleman
“It was just sex with them. I thought maybe I could forget the pain for a while, but all it did was remind me that no one would ever be you. Anyway, it sounds like you had some fun of your own!”
He was starting to raise his voice and I didn’t like. I got up and put my bathrobe on. It didn’t feel right to be naked with him anymore.
“To tell you the truth, I just started seeing someone. His name is Austin, and he’s a gentleman. He treats me like a queen, and I don’t have to beg him to like me like I had to with you. He found me crying over you and dried my tears. He wants to help me pick up the pieces of my shattered life. The life that you left in ruins, Mason!”
I should have known the sex wouldn’t have solved anything. It was a natural reaction to being close to someone I missed and loved. But now he was going right back to being the old Mason. He was putting his walls right back up and accusing me when he had been the one who walked out on the relationship we had built.
“Who the fuck does this Austin guy think he is? He doesn’t know shit about what we went through. He has no idea how much I loved you. How much I still love you. Are you in a relationship with him?”
“I have only gone out with him once, but I like him already. He at least stayed long enough to dry my tears instead of running from them. And no, he doesn’t know what we went through. The only people who know about that are me, you, and the doctor. I didn’t tell anyone, Mason! I have been dealing with this huge loss alone. How can I ever forgive you for that?”
He got out of bed and started getting dressed. I was so angry that I couldn’t admire his naked body. I was so mad at him that I was shaking, and the room suddenly felt very cold. When he was dressed, he didn’t walk out like I expected. Instead, he came and stood right in front of me.
“Jamie, I don’t care what anyone else says. You and I belong together. I made a huge mistake, but I will make it up to you. I will show you that I am better for you than Austin. You just need to give me a chance.”
He was begging, and it tugged at my heart, but I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget.
“I know that you’re sorry, but it takes more than that to prove that you’re ready for the future. What if we had a child and you decided it was too much for you then? I can’t take that chance without knowing for sure. I need time.”
“I will give you time, but I’m not going anywhere. I will be wooing you and showing you that you are everything I could ever want and need. You are never going to doubt me again.”
My heart wanted to believe what he was saying, but my head knew better.
“I think you should go now. I need time to process all of this. I need to think about whether I can let you back in.”
“Okay, I’ll go. But I hope you will consider it seriously. Baby, I love you so much. You will have my heart until the day I die.”
“I will always love you, too. I just don’t know if it’s enough to save us. I will talk to you soon.”
“I’ll be waiting. I love you, Jamie.”
He leaned over and kissed me softly and turned to walk away. As he was leaving, I said the words that I knew would leave him reeling. Words that I hadn’t spoken to anyone.
“By the way, it was a girl.”
He turned around with wide eyes full of tears, nodded, and walked out of the room.
Talking about her made it real again. She was too small to survive. It was too soon. But Mason hadn’t stuck around to find that out. I had even named her without him. I had a little box with memories of her hidden in the top corner of my closet. I was a mother, and no one knew but Mason and my doctor.
Since it hurt too much to think about her, I pushed the memories aside and focused on the issues at hand. Mason was back and expected me to fall into his arms.
Then there was Austin, with his promises of always being a gentleman
Similar Books
