home so I didn’t have to deal with his horrible attitude.
But the cars still dark when I get to it; I peer inside the window, thinking maybe I’ll find him sleeping in the front seat. Nothing.
And then I see him, walking slowly across the parking lot, the diner in the distance behind him. His arms hang down at his sides, his usual confidence gone from his over all representation of himself. He looks amazed, shocked even, and a little bit confused all at the same time.
And right away, I know he knows.
I can feel it.
He knows about the wellness center.
Chapter 7
Nathan walks right past me and inside the hotel. He doesn’t even look at me, like I don’t exist to him at all. It’s hard to explain the beating that takes place in your chest when a feeling of anxiety washes over you. It’s like your heart is beating at the speed of light, and no matter how many times you tell yourself to breathe, or to calm down, your body won’t listen. It’s what’s happening to me now, with each step that I take after him toward our room.
Nathans sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, not moving. I close the door behind me, the only sound coming from the beating of my own heart. I can feel the adrenalin that fills the entire room, like at any moment things are about to blow up.
Seconds pass, maybe even minutes, but it feels like hours.
“Please say something,” I say, barely above a whisper.
He finally looks up, and I immediately wish he wouldn’t have. His eyes are filled with such intense pain that it’s almost hard to look at him. He’s looking at me like he knows me even less than he thought he did, which wasn’t much after everything.
“What can I say? What the fuck can I say, Victoria? What the fuck happened? Yeah, I think I’ll start with that. What the fuck happened? Please tell me that lady is just a crazy bitch, please tell me you weren’t in some mental hospital, tell me this isn’t really my life right now?” His chest is beating so fast up and down that he looks like he’s about to explode.
“Nathan,” I try to keep my voice as even as possible, “if you just let me explain.”
He stands up now and starts pacing back and forth in front of the bed. “Explain? Explain? What is there to explain? You go away to some mental ward for three months, and you don’t call, you don’t write, you don’t do shit!”
“You think that was my choice? They wouldn’t let me call anyone! You think I wanted to get dragged out of bed in the middle of night and taken away from the few people I had left?” My voice is getting higher now, I’m trying to stay calm but it’s hard when I’ve been keeping this from him for so long.
He stops pacing now, turning to look at me. “You mean you didn’t go willingly?”
“Of course I didn’t go willingly!” I take a few steps closer to him, but stop when I see the same wounded look on his face, like he’s about to break at any second.
“Then how did you?” Realization crosses over his face. “Jesus, you mean, my mom and your dad?”
I nod, unable to speak.
“Why would they do that? Why the fuck would they ever do anything like that?” His eyes are wide. He’s barely blinking, looking like an absolute crazy person.
I feel my heart start to race even faster, and I can feel a headache starting to form somewhere in the back of my head from all the emotions I have washing over me. I can’t believe this is happening, I had imagined this exact situation so many times in my head, but now that it was actually here, I didn’t feel ready for it at all. I was having a tough time actually dealing with it, actually having to come to terms with everything that had happened to me.
I take a deep breath. “They found out about us.” I look down at the ground immediately after I say it, terrified to see the look of pain that’s sure to continue growing on his face.
“Are you saying this is my fault?” His voice is small again now, so small that I almost
But the cars still dark when I get to it; I peer inside the window, thinking maybe I’ll find him sleeping in the front seat. Nothing.
And then I see him, walking slowly across the parking lot, the diner in the distance behind him. His arms hang down at his sides, his usual confidence gone from his over all representation of himself. He looks amazed, shocked even, and a little bit confused all at the same time.
And right away, I know he knows.
I can feel it.
He knows about the wellness center.
Chapter 7
Nathan walks right past me and inside the hotel. He doesn’t even look at me, like I don’t exist to him at all. It’s hard to explain the beating that takes place in your chest when a feeling of anxiety washes over you. It’s like your heart is beating at the speed of light, and no matter how many times you tell yourself to breathe, or to calm down, your body won’t listen. It’s what’s happening to me now, with each step that I take after him toward our room.
Nathans sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, not moving. I close the door behind me, the only sound coming from the beating of my own heart. I can feel the adrenalin that fills the entire room, like at any moment things are about to blow up.
Seconds pass, maybe even minutes, but it feels like hours.
“Please say something,” I say, barely above a whisper.
He finally looks up, and I immediately wish he wouldn’t have. His eyes are filled with such intense pain that it’s almost hard to look at him. He’s looking at me like he knows me even less than he thought he did, which wasn’t much after everything.
“What can I say? What the fuck can I say, Victoria? What the fuck happened? Yeah, I think I’ll start with that. What the fuck happened? Please tell me that lady is just a crazy bitch, please tell me you weren’t in some mental hospital, tell me this isn’t really my life right now?” His chest is beating so fast up and down that he looks like he’s about to explode.
“Nathan,” I try to keep my voice as even as possible, “if you just let me explain.”
He stands up now and starts pacing back and forth in front of the bed. “Explain? Explain? What is there to explain? You go away to some mental ward for three months, and you don’t call, you don’t write, you don’t do shit!”
“You think that was my choice? They wouldn’t let me call anyone! You think I wanted to get dragged out of bed in the middle of night and taken away from the few people I had left?” My voice is getting higher now, I’m trying to stay calm but it’s hard when I’ve been keeping this from him for so long.
He stops pacing now, turning to look at me. “You mean you didn’t go willingly?”
“Of course I didn’t go willingly!” I take a few steps closer to him, but stop when I see the same wounded look on his face, like he’s about to break at any second.
“Then how did you?” Realization crosses over his face. “Jesus, you mean, my mom and your dad?”
I nod, unable to speak.
“Why would they do that? Why the fuck would they ever do anything like that?” His eyes are wide. He’s barely blinking, looking like an absolute crazy person.
I feel my heart start to race even faster, and I can feel a headache starting to form somewhere in the back of my head from all the emotions I have washing over me. I can’t believe this is happening, I had imagined this exact situation so many times in my head, but now that it was actually here, I didn’t feel ready for it at all. I was having a tough time actually dealing with it, actually having to come to terms with everything that had happened to me.
I take a deep breath. “They found out about us.” I look down at the ground immediately after I say it, terrified to see the look of pain that’s sure to continue growing on his face.
“Are you saying this is my fault?” His voice is small again now, so small that I almost
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