regretting the words when they came out.
“On select projects,” he said, his words heavily laden with double meaning. Dear Lord, how did everyone in the room not hear the subtext? It was enough to make her overheat. She wished she’d brought her cup of ice with her.
“Yeah, fine, in my office,” she waved her hand and headed back into the room, waiting for him again, before closing the door behind them.
“I’m having déjà vu from this morning,” he said.
“You’re a nuisance, Mr. Anderson.” Her lips twitched. “I’m sorry, I can’t say that without laughing.”
“What?”
“Mr. Anderson. The Matrix. ”
“Okay.”
“You know what, that makes you even worse. How do you not know The Matrix? ”
“When did it come out?” he asked.
“Ninety-nine.”
“Oh yeah, I was getting laid.”
“You’re a nuisance, Anderson,” she said again, irritation spiking through her blood stream.
“Am I?”
“Yes. You’re out there being all…friendly with my staff and they have work to do. Much like for me, a job isn’t a little game they try to amuse themselves with for a couple weeks at a time before they go back to a slothful existence of sleeping till noon and taking Jell-O shots off the stomachs of coeds.”
“You must have been at last year’s spring break event down in Puerto Vallarta.”
“I don’t want to know if what I just said was true!” she wrinkled her nose. “The point is, this is serious business to us.”
“Yes. Weaponized unicorn horns and some ridiculous space-themed TV show on repeat on all the monitors on the walls. Serious business, I get it.”
“It’s our passion, Anderson,” she said. “You get off on picking up random chicks at bars. We get off on this. More than that, we need it. It’s our livelihood and our future. So don’t come in here and screw with it. With your suits and your…your shoes and your expensive hair.”
“I didn’t come here to mess anything up.”
“No, you were here for the nooky. Sorry I ruined your plans.” She was just annoyed now. Which was kind of nice because it made her feel less stumbly and awkward.
“Oh, I’m still here for nooky,” he said.
“What?” The stumbly and awkward was back.
“That’s why I’m anywhere, Evie.”
She coughed. “You have a problem.”
“Is it really a problem if you’re totally happy with it? Though, I did tell you I’d help with the flirting stuff. And I will.”
“Fine.” She opened and closed her hands. “Have a seat. I have app crap to show you so pay attention.”
“I think ‘Unicorn Strike’ is probably more to my taste level.”
“Too bad, bitch,” she said, “you signed yourself up for this project, now you’re going to help. You’re a manwhore, you ought to be able to help me figure out just how to lay out all this pertinent info. And you can tell me if any of the tips are BS. In that regard, your role as consultant makes perfect sense.”
“I think I’m flattered. Let me see what you’ve got.”
She handed him her phone. “Okay, what I’m working on right now is some kind of interactive features for the lists so they don’t seem stagnant. But the problem with the sex tips is that everything I think of is pornographic.”
He laughed. “Really?”
“Yes, really. Okay.” She sat at her computer. “Scroll through. I’ve got the most up-to-date beta version on my phone.”
“Yeah…” he said, “I think including pictures of women licking popsicles on your blow job tutorial section is a touch overboard.”
“Well, I couldn’t put them licking actual penises. I have standards.”
He actually laughed at her. “I like it when you talk dirty.”
“This is an issue, Caleb. And it is now your job. Oversee.”
“It’s a no on the popsicles. I mean, if you’re concerned about people being offended, which is sort of funny considering the content of the article. But strange things offend, trust me.”
She leaned back in her chair. “I imagine
“On select projects,” he said, his words heavily laden with double meaning. Dear Lord, how did everyone in the room not hear the subtext? It was enough to make her overheat. She wished she’d brought her cup of ice with her.
“Yeah, fine, in my office,” she waved her hand and headed back into the room, waiting for him again, before closing the door behind them.
“I’m having déjà vu from this morning,” he said.
“You’re a nuisance, Mr. Anderson.” Her lips twitched. “I’m sorry, I can’t say that without laughing.”
“What?”
“Mr. Anderson. The Matrix. ”
“Okay.”
“You know what, that makes you even worse. How do you not know The Matrix? ”
“When did it come out?” he asked.
“Ninety-nine.”
“Oh yeah, I was getting laid.”
“You’re a nuisance, Anderson,” she said again, irritation spiking through her blood stream.
“Am I?”
“Yes. You’re out there being all…friendly with my staff and they have work to do. Much like for me, a job isn’t a little game they try to amuse themselves with for a couple weeks at a time before they go back to a slothful existence of sleeping till noon and taking Jell-O shots off the stomachs of coeds.”
“You must have been at last year’s spring break event down in Puerto Vallarta.”
“I don’t want to know if what I just said was true!” she wrinkled her nose. “The point is, this is serious business to us.”
“Yes. Weaponized unicorn horns and some ridiculous space-themed TV show on repeat on all the monitors on the walls. Serious business, I get it.”
“It’s our passion, Anderson,” she said. “You get off on picking up random chicks at bars. We get off on this. More than that, we need it. It’s our livelihood and our future. So don’t come in here and screw with it. With your suits and your…your shoes and your expensive hair.”
“I didn’t come here to mess anything up.”
“No, you were here for the nooky. Sorry I ruined your plans.” She was just annoyed now. Which was kind of nice because it made her feel less stumbly and awkward.
“Oh, I’m still here for nooky,” he said.
“What?” The stumbly and awkward was back.
“That’s why I’m anywhere, Evie.”
She coughed. “You have a problem.”
“Is it really a problem if you’re totally happy with it? Though, I did tell you I’d help with the flirting stuff. And I will.”
“Fine.” She opened and closed her hands. “Have a seat. I have app crap to show you so pay attention.”
“I think ‘Unicorn Strike’ is probably more to my taste level.”
“Too bad, bitch,” she said, “you signed yourself up for this project, now you’re going to help. You’re a manwhore, you ought to be able to help me figure out just how to lay out all this pertinent info. And you can tell me if any of the tips are BS. In that regard, your role as consultant makes perfect sense.”
“I think I’m flattered. Let me see what you’ve got.”
She handed him her phone. “Okay, what I’m working on right now is some kind of interactive features for the lists so they don’t seem stagnant. But the problem with the sex tips is that everything I think of is pornographic.”
He laughed. “Really?”
“Yes, really. Okay.” She sat at her computer. “Scroll through. I’ve got the most up-to-date beta version on my phone.”
“Yeah…” he said, “I think including pictures of women licking popsicles on your blow job tutorial section is a touch overboard.”
“Well, I couldn’t put them licking actual penises. I have standards.”
He actually laughed at her. “I like it when you talk dirty.”
“This is an issue, Caleb. And it is now your job. Oversee.”
“It’s a no on the popsicles. I mean, if you’re concerned about people being offended, which is sort of funny considering the content of the article. But strange things offend, trust me.”
She leaned back in her chair. “I imagine
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