bit’ a rib on my phone so I licked off my screen
Sam: I wasn’t planning on going on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere!
Sam: I’ve said it before Milly and I’ll probably say it again. Peeing outside makes me happy.
C HAPTER 9
The Pirate and Princess Invade
Business has been miserably slow the last four weeks. Lacey warned me that during harvest our town would turn into a ghost town. Coffee business has been steady enough. Thank god people were addicted to that shit.
Lacey and I had been keeping ourselves busy with creating our Halloween costumes instead of bar-hopping. We’re dressing up as Woody and Buzz Lightyear to hand out candy to little ghouls and goblins for the town’s annual Businesses Do Trick or Treat event. Our costumes are quite scandalous for being cartoon characters and involving youngsters. I claimed Buzz, and Lacey was more than happy to dress up as a slutty cowboy cartoon figure.
I wore a green tutu with white tights and boots. (Yep, trying to bring the badass back one Halloween costume at a time!). Lacey tried to convince me to revamp one of my green bras into a top. I passed. Instead, I wore a green tank top that we blinged the shit out of. I made a wide belt to wear similar to Buzz’s and a kick ass headband instead of a helmet. Lacey had no problem sporting a brown bra with fringes for her top. I made her wear a tiny vest over the top of it to de-slut it a wee bit. I didn’t want her giving the old ladies heart attacks and the tweens hard-ons.
We had hordes and hordes of trick or treaters. We each had our own bucket and were passing out candy as quickly as we could.
“Trick-or-Treat,” came a sweet little voice from behind me. I turned to find the sweetest dressed little Belle the Princess. It was Annie! Standing next to her was Cree, who was dressed up as a pirate, complete with a parrot on his shoulder. He had grown dark stubble on his face, which was sexy as hell and complemented his pirate garb quite nicely.
Next to him was a blonde woman with mile long legs and the perfect body. I guarantee she ate air for two out of her three daily meals. She wasn’t wearing a costume, but was dressed up in a beautiful silver sundress with her hair piled on top of her head, and killer red high heels. She was completely stunning and picture-perfect. I totally imagined someone like her as Cree’s wife. Well, shit, this was the moment—I was going to meet Mrs. Fitzpatrick and I was dressed up in a skimpy, homemade Buzz Lightyear costume, for shit’s sake.
“Belle! We have been waiting for your arrival all afternoon,” I said as I stuffed a heaping handful of candy in her bucket.
“You have?” questioned her little voice.
“Why yes! The Beast stopped by earlier and left us with strict instructions to let you get anything your little heart desires here at The Shop.” Annie’s little eyes lit up with joy.
“Did you hear that, Daddy?”
“Yes. What a kind Beast you have, Annie,” replied Cree.
“Oh, all my girlies at the country club are raving about this place. I have to check it out!” howled Blondie.
Lacey led Annie and Blondie into the store. Awkward!
“Then there was a pirate and Buzz…” said Cree, laughing.
“Ahoy, me hearty! So why isn’t your wife dressed up?”
He started laughing uncontrollably.
“What’s so funny? I just asked why your wife didn’t dress up. It’s not like I cracked a joke.”
“Dolly, I don’t have a wife. It’s just me and Annie. I’ve been a single father since she was born.”
Holy shit! The hottest motherfucking guy in town isn’t married…glory, glory…hallelujah!
“Wow!” was the only word I could muster up.
“I don’t even have a girlfriend. Erica is someone my butthead little sister set me up with. I’m going to kick her ass next time I see her.”
“Oh,” I mouthed.
“If I have to listen to Erica name drop or tell me all about the fancy labels she
Sam: I wasn’t planning on going on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere!
Sam: I’ve said it before Milly and I’ll probably say it again. Peeing outside makes me happy.
C HAPTER 9
The Pirate and Princess Invade
Business has been miserably slow the last four weeks. Lacey warned me that during harvest our town would turn into a ghost town. Coffee business has been steady enough. Thank god people were addicted to that shit.
Lacey and I had been keeping ourselves busy with creating our Halloween costumes instead of bar-hopping. We’re dressing up as Woody and Buzz Lightyear to hand out candy to little ghouls and goblins for the town’s annual Businesses Do Trick or Treat event. Our costumes are quite scandalous for being cartoon characters and involving youngsters. I claimed Buzz, and Lacey was more than happy to dress up as a slutty cowboy cartoon figure.
I wore a green tutu with white tights and boots. (Yep, trying to bring the badass back one Halloween costume at a time!). Lacey tried to convince me to revamp one of my green bras into a top. I passed. Instead, I wore a green tank top that we blinged the shit out of. I made a wide belt to wear similar to Buzz’s and a kick ass headband instead of a helmet. Lacey had no problem sporting a brown bra with fringes for her top. I made her wear a tiny vest over the top of it to de-slut it a wee bit. I didn’t want her giving the old ladies heart attacks and the tweens hard-ons.
We had hordes and hordes of trick or treaters. We each had our own bucket and were passing out candy as quickly as we could.
“Trick-or-Treat,” came a sweet little voice from behind me. I turned to find the sweetest dressed little Belle the Princess. It was Annie! Standing next to her was Cree, who was dressed up as a pirate, complete with a parrot on his shoulder. He had grown dark stubble on his face, which was sexy as hell and complemented his pirate garb quite nicely.
Next to him was a blonde woman with mile long legs and the perfect body. I guarantee she ate air for two out of her three daily meals. She wasn’t wearing a costume, but was dressed up in a beautiful silver sundress with her hair piled on top of her head, and killer red high heels. She was completely stunning and picture-perfect. I totally imagined someone like her as Cree’s wife. Well, shit, this was the moment—I was going to meet Mrs. Fitzpatrick and I was dressed up in a skimpy, homemade Buzz Lightyear costume, for shit’s sake.
“Belle! We have been waiting for your arrival all afternoon,” I said as I stuffed a heaping handful of candy in her bucket.
“You have?” questioned her little voice.
“Why yes! The Beast stopped by earlier and left us with strict instructions to let you get anything your little heart desires here at The Shop.” Annie’s little eyes lit up with joy.
“Did you hear that, Daddy?”
“Yes. What a kind Beast you have, Annie,” replied Cree.
“Oh, all my girlies at the country club are raving about this place. I have to check it out!” howled Blondie.
Lacey led Annie and Blondie into the store. Awkward!
“Then there was a pirate and Buzz…” said Cree, laughing.
“Ahoy, me hearty! So why isn’t your wife dressed up?”
He started laughing uncontrollably.
“What’s so funny? I just asked why your wife didn’t dress up. It’s not like I cracked a joke.”
“Dolly, I don’t have a wife. It’s just me and Annie. I’ve been a single father since she was born.”
Holy shit! The hottest motherfucking guy in town isn’t married…glory, glory…hallelujah!
“Wow!” was the only word I could muster up.
“I don’t even have a girlfriend. Erica is someone my butthead little sister set me up with. I’m going to kick her ass next time I see her.”
“Oh,” I mouthed.
“If I have to listen to Erica name drop or tell me all about the fancy labels she
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