it. Bethany is twelve flavors of nasty. She’s built like a dude with too much crack, tiny feet, and an oversized gut. She’s a plumber’s plumber with the attitude of a construction worker. Walk by her and she’ll be grabbing crotch and dropping f-bombs at your feet.”
Jamal’s eyes were shining bright in the darkened cab of the truck. His mouth dropped open and he shook his head.
“ Enough about the hot-or-not factor of Bethany Nitshimi. It’s time for some music. We need to turn this bitch up to eleven. Besides, you probably need a little music to serve as motivation for zombie slaying. That’s right. Remember, the modus operandi of the new world order is the destruction of the undead. And what better tune to cull the tragic herd than Pantera’s ‘Revolution is My Name ’ ? Channel that negative energy into something useful, my darling darklings, and help Bethany Nitshimi take down the Zero Day Collective.”
The music ripped out of the speakers and threatened to do damage to anything the sine waves touched. Morgan grabbed her walkie and called up Joshua to tune in. Apparently, the big teddy bear had a soft spot for Dimebag.
Life’s little surprises.
Jamal was still grinning wide.
“ What?”
“ What do you mean what? B, you are seriously famous. That DJ called you our Obi Wan. It doesn’t get more flattering than that.”
“ For a nerd…ya nerd.” I doled out a slap and punch to Jamal’s shoulder. “I can think of much better ways to compliment a woman than to call her Obi Wan, or—before you even start—Princess Leia in that stupid slave bikini!” Another punch to Jamal’s shoulder as a less-than-innocent grin spread across his lips. “Why are men so predictable?”
Before anyone could reply, Josh’s voice squealed from the walkie.
“ Morgan, we have a situation.”
Morgan picked up the radio and replied.
“ I read you. What’s up?”
“ Looks like a gang of Moaners surrounding a car. That could only mean one thing.”
Morgan glanced at me as she spoke into the radio. “Survivors.”
“ Time for some action, Morgan. Are you ready?”
Again, Morgan looked my way. I offered no indication as to my state of readiness to take on another gang of Moaners. She answered Joshua anyway.
“ To protect and sever.”
Morgan sped up the truck to fall in directly behind Joshua.
“ Are you sure it’s wise to be getting sidetracked? We really need to get to Salt Lake.”
Morgan glanced at me by way of the rearview mirror. “I get it, Bethany, I really do. It’s clear we have a bigger mission to accomplish. But the Zombie Response Team has a duty to protect the citizens. So you’ll have to excuse a sidetrack now and then—especially when that sidetrack means we save another life. If you have a problem with that…”
I held up my hands in surrender. “I don’t. You’re right; we can’t just ignore the pleas of survivors. We go down that dark path and we’re no better than the fucksacks who spun up this nightmare.”
Respect flashed across Morgan’s eyes. If she only knew the truth, that all I really cared about at the moment was making it to Salt Lake and locating Jacob, she would have kicked my ass out of the Hummer and bade me farewell. I couldn’t deny my feelings; I also couldn’t keep them from weighing down my gut like I’d swallowed a brick. I’d spent so much time trying to save the planet from imploding that I failed to remind myself what was truly important. Now that it was gone, it was all I could think of or care for.
Fat lot of good that did me now.
The Hummer came to a slow, quiet stop. I was so lost in thought I’d failed to realize Morgan had killed the engine a few hundred feet back. Inertia carried us directly to the side of Josh’s vehicle. Morgan carefully opened the driver’s side door and stepped out of the truck. She met Josh at the tailgate of the lead Hummer and, from the looks of it, nailed out a plan of attack.
They left me out. I
Jamal’s eyes were shining bright in the darkened cab of the truck. His mouth dropped open and he shook his head.
“ Enough about the hot-or-not factor of Bethany Nitshimi. It’s time for some music. We need to turn this bitch up to eleven. Besides, you probably need a little music to serve as motivation for zombie slaying. That’s right. Remember, the modus operandi of the new world order is the destruction of the undead. And what better tune to cull the tragic herd than Pantera’s ‘Revolution is My Name ’ ? Channel that negative energy into something useful, my darling darklings, and help Bethany Nitshimi take down the Zero Day Collective.”
The music ripped out of the speakers and threatened to do damage to anything the sine waves touched. Morgan grabbed her walkie and called up Joshua to tune in. Apparently, the big teddy bear had a soft spot for Dimebag.
Life’s little surprises.
Jamal was still grinning wide.
“ What?”
“ What do you mean what? B, you are seriously famous. That DJ called you our Obi Wan. It doesn’t get more flattering than that.”
“ For a nerd…ya nerd.” I doled out a slap and punch to Jamal’s shoulder. “I can think of much better ways to compliment a woman than to call her Obi Wan, or—before you even start—Princess Leia in that stupid slave bikini!” Another punch to Jamal’s shoulder as a less-than-innocent grin spread across his lips. “Why are men so predictable?”
Before anyone could reply, Josh’s voice squealed from the walkie.
“ Morgan, we have a situation.”
Morgan picked up the radio and replied.
“ I read you. What’s up?”
“ Looks like a gang of Moaners surrounding a car. That could only mean one thing.”
Morgan glanced at me as she spoke into the radio. “Survivors.”
“ Time for some action, Morgan. Are you ready?”
Again, Morgan looked my way. I offered no indication as to my state of readiness to take on another gang of Moaners. She answered Joshua anyway.
“ To protect and sever.”
Morgan sped up the truck to fall in directly behind Joshua.
“ Are you sure it’s wise to be getting sidetracked? We really need to get to Salt Lake.”
Morgan glanced at me by way of the rearview mirror. “I get it, Bethany, I really do. It’s clear we have a bigger mission to accomplish. But the Zombie Response Team has a duty to protect the citizens. So you’ll have to excuse a sidetrack now and then—especially when that sidetrack means we save another life. If you have a problem with that…”
I held up my hands in surrender. “I don’t. You’re right; we can’t just ignore the pleas of survivors. We go down that dark path and we’re no better than the fucksacks who spun up this nightmare.”
Respect flashed across Morgan’s eyes. If she only knew the truth, that all I really cared about at the moment was making it to Salt Lake and locating Jacob, she would have kicked my ass out of the Hummer and bade me farewell. I couldn’t deny my feelings; I also couldn’t keep them from weighing down my gut like I’d swallowed a brick. I’d spent so much time trying to save the planet from imploding that I failed to remind myself what was truly important. Now that it was gone, it was all I could think of or care for.
Fat lot of good that did me now.
The Hummer came to a slow, quiet stop. I was so lost in thought I’d failed to realize Morgan had killed the engine a few hundred feet back. Inertia carried us directly to the side of Josh’s vehicle. Morgan carefully opened the driver’s side door and stepped out of the truck. She met Josh at the tailgate of the lead Hummer and, from the looks of it, nailed out a plan of attack.
They left me out. I
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