Cupcakes at Carrington’s (Carringtons Department Store 1) by Alexandra Brown Page B

in to conduct some kind of review. I’ve got a meeting with her on Tuesday, so I’ll guess I’ll find out more then.’ A trickle of panic starts. I try and shake the feeling off, desperate to keep an open mind.
    ‘Maybe you’ll get a promotion, you never know,’ she says gently, and I know that she’s only trying to make me feel better.
    ‘Perhaps,’ I say wryly. The feeling of panic lurches up again. What if I really do lose my job? Everything I’ve worked so hard for could disappear overnight. I don’t even have any savings – nothing to fall back on – and my credit cards are all maxed out. And then there are the loans …
    ‘Well, let’s not worry about it until it happens, and I don’t for a minute think it will. Now, will you tell me if you like this please?’ she says, handing me a miniature heart-shaped sparkly pinkberry cake. ‘It’s a new recipe I’m trying out for Valentine’s Day.’
    ‘Mmm, it’s divine,’ I say, after taking a bite. I manage to put a smile on my face, although I can’t help thinking that it’s OK for Sam – she’s never been poor, or even had to struggle, how can she ever know what it really feels like? ‘Will we still be friends if I lose my job and end up in some dingy dump surviving on Super Noodles?’ I ask, trying to lighten the mood, but remembering the early days when I left care, I relied so heavily on overdrafts, even paying by cheque for groceries, just to buy me an extra few days until payday when the same horrible cycle would start all over again.
    ‘Don’t be so dramatic. You know that’s never going to happen. People don’t just lose their job, you know, unless the company they work for goes bust or they’ve done something really bad, and then it’s usually their own fault …’ Sam’s face drops when she realises what she’s said. ‘Oh Georgie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.’ She tries to grab my hand, but I quickly pull it away.
    ‘Like what?’ is all I can muster. I lean back in the seat. My mind leaps back to the hideous day at school when I was summoned to Miss Braintree’s office and ordered to pack up my things. I was on the next train home and in the local school playground the following morning in my ill-fitting second-hand uniform, being slapped around for ‘talking posh’.
    ‘Well, you know. That business with your dad,’ Sam whispers the word ‘dad’.
    ‘But I’m not my dad, I’m me. I haven’t done anything wrong, have I?’ I know I’m shouting, but the feeling is mounting. I’ve worked twice as hard to prove I’m not like him.
    ‘No. Of course not. Georgie, honestly, everything will be OK, really it will. You’re my best friend and always will be because you’re funny, kind, really brave given what you’ve been through, smart … even if you do have a tendency to put two and two together and come up with five on occasion.’ She smiles kindly. ‘Look, try not to panic. You’re going to be fine.’ Sam leans forward to stroke my arm and I feel tears stinging my eyes. I swallow hard and silently pray that she’s right. ‘But if you’re really worried then you must cover every eventuality. Why don’t you look for another job, just in case?’ There’s silence while I take in what Sam has said.
    ‘The thought has crossed my mind, but what if Maxine finds out? I don’t want her thinking I’m disloyal to Carrington’s or lacking in confidence over my position here.’
    ‘She won’t. Not if I talk to Dad, discreetly,’ Sam suggests. I think of Alfie, her lovely father. During those lonely years at Nanny Jean’s I would fantasise that Alfie would come and rescue me. He had even contacted social services and said I could live with him and Sam, but they had not allowed me to as he travels too much and Sam was looked after by a nanny in the school holidays after her interior designer mum ran off to LA with a rock-star client when Sam was just a baby. Said I needed stability.
    ‘Oh Sam,