Cybermancy by Kelly McCullough Page A

trick, I jerked my head at Melchior. “Make a call for me, would you?”
    Bob gave me the gimlet look. “Hold it. You said no smart stuff, just cards. Why should we let you call anybody?”
    “What can it hurt?” I asked. “You’re the biggest, baddest dog in all creation. About the only thing you could have to worry about is if I had Necessity backing me up via my speed dial. But if that were the case I wouldn’t have had to come in the hard way, now would I?”
    “Necessity on your speed dial,” snorted Mort, though he looked a little nervous about the mention of that name. “Good one. He’s got a point, Bob. Why not let him make the call?”
    Bob grumbled a bit, then asked, “Who you gonna call?”
    “A friend. She’s totally harmless, shorter than your shortest tooth.” I reached out and boldly tapped one of Bob’s canines, pricking my finger. “You boys aren’t afraid of a wee tiny webpixie, are you? I just installed a phone circuit for her, and it seems rude to die without giving it a test. Here.” I pressed my bleeding finger to my lips. “By my blood and my honor I swear she is what I say.”
    The twinkle in Dave’s eye returned, brighter this time. “I’m game, if for no other reason than to find out what it is you’re up to.” He raised a questioning eyebrow.
    I just smiled and signaled for Melchior to make the call. Kira arrived a few minutes later. She had to be terrified, but you couldn’t tell it by looking at her; as Melchior had said, attitude enough for a herd of webtrolls.
    “How’s the hardware working?” I asked her.
    “Great.” She landed on my shoulder. “I found this really slick file-swapping software at jollyroger.mag . It’s called Theftster, and I’ve downloaded like nine thousand tunes.”
    “Tunes?” asked Mort, his pupils widening in sudden concern. “What’s this?”
    Cerberus leaped to his feet.
    “Now would be good!” I said to Kira.
    She didn’t need my prodding; Three Dog Night’s “Joy to the World” was already pouring out of her open mouth.
    A paw the size of a Saint Bernard landed on me, pinning me to the ground. One claw point pricked my throat just over the Adam’s apple, and I knew that I’d lost. I closed my eyes and waited for the end. At least I’d reunited Shara and Cerice.
    Seconds went by. Though I could feel a trickle of blood making me a crimson necklace, the pressure didn’t increase, and I didn’t die. Then a new noise joined Kira’s replay, a great rumbling snore. I opened one eye. Mort’s head lay closest to me, its eyes firmly closed, a trickle of drool forming at the corner of his mouth. Slowly and carefully I crawled out from under the paw. Bob was the one snoring. A tiny hint of black fire was just visible under Dave’s left eyelid, as though he were still partially awake. When I looked closer, it flickered closed in what I could have half sworn was a wink.
    I turned to Kira, and whispered, “If you’re willing, I’d love to set you up with a triple headset. I know you’re looking for work, and I think Cerberus would make a great boss. He’s loyal and he’s tough and you’ve got a lot in common personality-wise. What do you think?”
    She looked the big guy over consideringly, then nodded, not answering with words for reasons too obvious to go into.
    “Good enough,” I said. “I’m going to get going now and skip out on the whole rise-and-shine thing. Look me up when you’ve figured out the details, or if it doesn’t work out.”
    I turned to Melchior, who was standing perfectly still against the side of the underworld gate. He was doing a pretty good impression of the stonework he’d pressed himself into.
    “Gate?” I asked. He jerked his chin toward the water’s edge as if to say, “not here,” put a finger to his lips, and headed in that direction. I left the cards where they were and started after him. I’d barely gone two stops before a question occurred to me, and I turned back to Kira. “Why