Daring to Dream by Sam Bailey Page A

really enjoyed was when the police used to come in to get copies of phone records with reference to various crimes. We didn’t have the Internet then, so it was all stored on a microfiche machine, and I had to go through everything and print off whatever they needed. I loved doing that – and I guess it gave me a bit of a taste of my future career.
    My plan was still to carry on singing and somehow break into it full-time, but in the meantime I went back to doing market research. I had to do things like go into a shop and buy and bra, then take it back and fill in forms to say how well my complaint had been dealt with. I was a mystery shopper, mystery eater, mystery traveller – you name it. Ihad to go to Wembley and interview people outside a Bob Dylan concert to see who drank Carling beer. It wasn’t all bad. Somehow I managed to blag a ticket, so I got to see him live, which was amazing!
    Because I was bubbly, people were always saying to me I should work in a holiday camp, but because I hadn’t been accepted as a Redcoat I felt a bit disillusioned with it all. Then a friend pointed out to me that if you get knocked down you have to get back up, and they were so right. I decided I had nothing to lose by auditioning to be a Bluecoat at Pontins. I was working the following day, so on my break I went to a phone box and called Pontins in Pakefield and asked to speak to the entertainments manager, Sam. The next thing I knew I was doing Frank Spencer impressions and telling jokes down the phone. When I finished Sam said to me, ‘Congratulations, you’ve got a job.’ I was in total shock.
    I was so happy, but of course there was Darren to consider. I thought he was a keeper and that we’d be together forever. I thought I was in love with him, but knowing now what love really is I would say it was more of an infatuation. Still, I was torn as to what to do. I didn’t want to miss out on the job but I also didn’t want to leave Darren behind. Thankfully he made up my mind for me…
    One Saturday night Darren and his mates went out on a big booze-up. My friend Rachel was going out with one of his mates, Paul, and she was convinced he was cheating on her. She asked me if I’d drive up to the pub in Bromleywhere they were drinking to spy on them with her. When we got there we sneaked up this gravel path to the beer garden and we could see them having a beer and a laugh. Nothing untoward was going on, so we didn’t think any more of it. I went back home and waited for Darren, but when he didn’t arrive I went to Paul’s to see if he was there. Paul claimed he’d gone to a lock-in at The Albany, and I was so angry he hadn’t let me know that I went up there to find him. However, I didn’t just find him. When I walked round to the side of the pub, Darren was up against the wall with some girl who looked old enough to be his mother. I laid into the pair of them and she went scuttling off shouting something about Darren claiming he was single. I told him he could forget about ever coming near me again, and I ran off down the road.
    I went straight back to his house and left a note for his nan and granddad saying: ‘Darren and I have split up. Ask him why. Love you with all the world, Sam.’ The next day Darren’s nan phoned me and told me that Darren wouldn’t come out of his room. She ask me to go round and see him and the only reason I agreed was because I needed to get all of my stuff back. When he opened the door to his bedroom, I was so taken aback. He was in tears and he’d had built a shrine to me with photos and candles. It was like I’d died. Instead of feeling sorry for him, I felt even angrier. He was full of self-pity when I was the one who had been wronged.
    Incredibly, after a few weeks Darren did convince me toget back with him. I knew I could never forgive him and I felt so resentful that he’d hurt me, but part of me still