life story out loud. Despite his belief to the contrary, I had no interest in making Zeph out to be a villain. Maybe because I didn't exactly come out of things smelling like a rose, either. Or maybe just from my old fear of opening up to other people. Still, I couldn't expect them to be comfortable confiding in me if I wasn't willing to do so in return.
I took a deep breath and started to open my mouth, but Cara spoke first. "Here's what I don't understand. How did you get pulled into this Warden training when you were only eight years old? Your parents were just okay with it?"
I blinked, nonplussed. "Of course. My mother was overjoyed."
"And your dad?"
"Never had one. Or at least she never said anything about him. It was just the two of us as far back as I can remember. Then, the summer before I started third grade, these men came to our house. Society agents, though I didn't know it at the time. They were dressed like doctors--they did the basic tests, and took a few vials of my blood. A few days later, my mom woke me up and told me I was going to a new school for 'special kids.'" I snorted. "Which was a load of crap. It was just me and a bunch of tutors."
Sara frowned. "But...did she know what they were doing to you? That training sounds pretty harsh."
"Oh, yeah. She knew." I fell silent as I remembered the last words she'd ever spoken to me, the last time I'd called and begged her to let me come home. Precious few people are ever able to atone for the sins of their fathers, little girl. You'd best be grateful for the chance. I'd gotten word four years later that she'd died, without ever contacting me again. Which pretty typical of our relationship. We'd never been very close.
Sara's voice drew me out of my reminiscence. "So what does any of that have to do with you and Zeph?"
"Nothing. Well, a little, I suppose, since I was younger than the average Warden when I went through my training. See, I only gave you the basics before, but there's another, more...physical aspect to warding. By the Society's rules, I couldn't handle that part of things until I turned eighteen."
Two sets of eyebrows arched in mirrored surprise. "We're not talking about S-E-X here, are we?" Cara asked.
"No, but that's where it led, eventually. It's a very bonding experience, and well...I'd been in love with him for years."
"Yeah, I can see how that would happen."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh sure, he's gorgeous. That's part of it. But more than that, he needed me. And, naïve idiot that I was, I mistook that for his love in return. During those first few years, there were other Wardens that came and went, but I was the one who stayed with him. I was the one he called for by name. And when I was old enough, there was only me." I sighed with the memory. "The first time he kissed me, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven."
"Boss?"
"Huh?" I startled, and realized I'd been staring off into space for several seconds.
Cara's smile turned sympathetic. "So things went bad eventually?"
I nodded. "Big time. It got to be like an addiction after a while, for both of us. Do you remember how intense your feelings seemed around him last night?" When they both nodded, I went on. "Imagine loving someone that strongly. Imagine the sex."
They goggled. "Wow."
"Yeah, wow. And Zeph got a double dose--his own gratification, plus the echoes of mine. After a while, the sensations were all he cared about."
"So he was siphoning from you?" Sara asked, surprising the hell out of me.
"You heard me say that word last night," I recalled, shaking my head. "I forgot."
"Yeah. What does it mean?"
I had to wonder how much of our conversation they'd overheard through the office wall. "In short, it's psychological torture. Dark angels keep their Siphons trapped in their emotional state of choice and feed off them over a long period of time. Lust is the norm, though some of them prefer other, darker things. After a while, the Siphon really ceases to be a person anymore, just
I took a deep breath and started to open my mouth, but Cara spoke first. "Here's what I don't understand. How did you get pulled into this Warden training when you were only eight years old? Your parents were just okay with it?"
I blinked, nonplussed. "Of course. My mother was overjoyed."
"And your dad?"
"Never had one. Or at least she never said anything about him. It was just the two of us as far back as I can remember. Then, the summer before I started third grade, these men came to our house. Society agents, though I didn't know it at the time. They were dressed like doctors--they did the basic tests, and took a few vials of my blood. A few days later, my mom woke me up and told me I was going to a new school for 'special kids.'" I snorted. "Which was a load of crap. It was just me and a bunch of tutors."
Sara frowned. "But...did she know what they were doing to you? That training sounds pretty harsh."
"Oh, yeah. She knew." I fell silent as I remembered the last words she'd ever spoken to me, the last time I'd called and begged her to let me come home. Precious few people are ever able to atone for the sins of their fathers, little girl. You'd best be grateful for the chance. I'd gotten word four years later that she'd died, without ever contacting me again. Which pretty typical of our relationship. We'd never been very close.
Sara's voice drew me out of my reminiscence. "So what does any of that have to do with you and Zeph?"
"Nothing. Well, a little, I suppose, since I was younger than the average Warden when I went through my training. See, I only gave you the basics before, but there's another, more...physical aspect to warding. By the Society's rules, I couldn't handle that part of things until I turned eighteen."
Two sets of eyebrows arched in mirrored surprise. "We're not talking about S-E-X here, are we?" Cara asked.
"No, but that's where it led, eventually. It's a very bonding experience, and well...I'd been in love with him for years."
"Yeah, I can see how that would happen."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh sure, he's gorgeous. That's part of it. But more than that, he needed me. And, naïve idiot that I was, I mistook that for his love in return. During those first few years, there were other Wardens that came and went, but I was the one who stayed with him. I was the one he called for by name. And when I was old enough, there was only me." I sighed with the memory. "The first time he kissed me, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven."
"Boss?"
"Huh?" I startled, and realized I'd been staring off into space for several seconds.
Cara's smile turned sympathetic. "So things went bad eventually?"
I nodded. "Big time. It got to be like an addiction after a while, for both of us. Do you remember how intense your feelings seemed around him last night?" When they both nodded, I went on. "Imagine loving someone that strongly. Imagine the sex."
They goggled. "Wow."
"Yeah, wow. And Zeph got a double dose--his own gratification, plus the echoes of mine. After a while, the sensations were all he cared about."
"So he was siphoning from you?" Sara asked, surprising the hell out of me.
"You heard me say that word last night," I recalled, shaking my head. "I forgot."
"Yeah. What does it mean?"
I had to wonder how much of our conversation they'd overheard through the office wall. "In short, it's psychological torture. Dark angels keep their Siphons trapped in their emotional state of choice and feed off them over a long period of time. Lust is the norm, though some of them prefer other, darker things. After a while, the Siphon really ceases to be a person anymore, just
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