Dark Grace by M. Lauryl Lewis Page B

brother Joey. Please believe that.” He was stroking my hair gently.
    I lay my head on his chest and shook my head. I suddenly felt selfish. She was my best friend, but she was Gus’ lover. I should be comforting him now, not the other way around.
    “I’m so sorry, Gus.”
    “We all loved her, Zoe. We all loved her so much. We need to go outside now, and talk to the others.”
    I hadn’t realized we were alone. Susan must have taken the girls out.
    “I want to bury her, Gus. We can’t just leave her.”
    “Of course we will.”
    I wiped my tears and turned back to the body of my best friend. My sister. Her beautiful freckled face was marred by blood that trailed from a single hole in her temple. She was such a beautiful person, inside and out, and never deserved to be harmed like this. I felt faint, so leaned down to rest my forehead on her again. I grabbed one of her hands. Her skin was ice cold, and felt waxy. It was one of the worst feelings in the world. She was completely and utterly lifeless. I stared at her chest, and I could swear I saw her breathing. I had to feel for myself. As I kept my forehead against her chest, I felt absolutely nothing. Even in the dim candlelight I could see that she was a deep shade of blue-gray. Her eyes were lacking the sparkle I had grown to love.
    “Zoe.”
    I finally looked up at Gus.
    “I need a moment with her. I’ll meet you outside, ok?”
    His words stung, but I nodded and respected his wishes. I stood up on wobbly legs and walked outside. As I looked back under the tarp, I could see Gus leaning down giving Emilie a final kiss goodbye. I choked back tears despite wanting to cry for the loss we all had just suffered in losing a true friend.
    I turned and walked back to the campfire, where Boggs waited. No one else was there, except for the bodies of Sadie and Ron. From the shelter behind me, I heard Gus gasping as he cried. His words broke my heart. “I’m so sorry.” I knew in my heart what he was apologizing for.
    “Zoe, I’m so sorry about Emilie.” His eyes were red from shedding his own tears.
    I walked to his open arms and allowed him to hold me. “Boggs, she’s so cold. So still.”
    He tightened his embrace. “Nathan took Susan and the girls to the boat. He’ll be back for the rest of us soon. We need to leave here in case anyone else is around.”
    “We need to bury Emilie.”
    “Gus and I can do that, Zoe. I want you on the boat.”
    “He’s heartbroken, Boggs.”
    “Of course he is. We just have to be there for him.”
    I began shivering. The sun was rising and the rain had stopped.
    “Did you shoot them?” I asked.
    “The guy, yes,” he answered simply.
    “Nathan shot Sadie?”
    “Yes.”
    “Ok.”
    I heard Gus walk up behind me.
    “Sorry Zoe, I just needed a minute alone to say good bye.” He wipes his eyes, trying to put on a front of some sort.
    I stayed in Boggs’ embrace but turned to look at Gus. “I understand, Gus. I’m just so sorry she’s gone.”
    “Gus, brother, I’m so sorry,” added Boggs.
    Gus hung his head, obviously unable to reply.
    “Nathan and I both agree we need to get out of here soon,” said Boggs. “He’s shuttling the girls over to the boat in the raft with Susan then coming back for us. I want to get Zoe over there, and then come back for supplies and to bury Emilie.”
    Gus’s chest heaved, and he picked his head up. “Ok.”
    “I need to be here to bury her,” I said, my voice cracking.
    “Ok then. Let’s get packing. We’ll mourn later,” said Gus. Easier said than done, but I agreed.
    “I need some pants,” I said without emotion.
    “You two start packing out here,” said Boggs. “I’ll grab your pants, Zo.”
    I knew he was sparing me and Gus from going back into the shelter. As he walked away from us, Gus held me to him.
    I knew Emilie would want us to go on, to keep the kids and each other safe. I tried, unsuccessfully, to stop shedding tears.
    “This fucking sucks,” he