bleeding out of him. The light rolled off him like heat waves on a desert road, but it wasn’t a warm radiance. That light was cool. Not that I felt it or anything. That’s just how it looked. Cold.
False.
“ Hello, Robbie, ” he said. “ Come and give your grandpa a big hug. ”
I tried to speak, but my mouth was dry. My tongue and lips felt like they were swelling. The smells grew stronger.
“Come on,” he insisted. “It’s been so long. I’ve missed you.”
He held out his arms to me the way he used to, and I remembered how safe I’d felt with them wrapped around me, squeezing. I didn’t feel that way now, and I imagined that if I went to him, the squeeze would be something less than tender or caring. I stayed where I was. In truth, I don’t know if I could have moved even if I’d wanted to. My feet felt like they were ankle deep in cement. I glanced over at Russ and Christy. They both stared into the darkness, gaping in the same direction as I’d been, but judging from their reactions, neither was seeing what I saw. I wondered what they were seeing instead. Then I turned back to my grandfather and he smiled.
“Go away,” I whispered.
“ Come on, Robbie, ” he urged again. “ At least come over here where I can see you better. You’re all grown up now. All that blond hair and those blue eyes. You look like your mother when she was your age. ”
He beckoned. The darkness seemed to flow around him like ripples in a black, oily pool.
“Go away,” I repeated, closing my eyes. “Please go away. You’re not my grandfather. You’re not real. You can’t be. You died.”
“ I’m real, ” he said. “ Touch me, Robbie. Feel me. I’m solid. ”
I opened my eyes. His eyes seemed to blaze with that cold light. It flared and sparked around his frame, billowing from his head and shoulders and fingertips. He still hadn’t moved.
But Russ had. While my eyes were shut, he’d shuffled toward the darkness. He stretched his arms, reaching for something I couldn’t see. He had a shocked, confused smile on his face.
“But why didn’t you call?” Russ peered into the shadows. “If you had just let me know you were coming, I could have picked you up at the airport.”
I glanced in the direction he was staring. There was nothing there that I could see. I turned to Christy, but she seemed oblivious to us both. Weeping, she knelt in the middle of the road, wiped her eyes and nose with her hands, and repeated, “I’m sorry,” over and over again.
“Don’t be silly,” Russ said, smiling. “It’s no trouble at all.”
“ Robbie, ” my grandfather called. “ Don’t worry about them right now. I need you to come closer. It’s hard to see you. ”
Ignoring him, I ran after Russ. He was just a few feet away from that thin razor line where the darkness became the absence of light. His smile had grown broader, and he nodded in response to something I couldn’t hear.
“Sounds good to me,” he said. “I missed you, too. You don’t know how much. Let’s go back to my place. The past is the past.”
“Russ!”
He paused but didn’t turn to face me. I hurried to catch up with him and grabbed his wrist. He turned to me as if half asleep. The confused smile was still on his face.
I squeezed his wrist. “Where are you going, man?”
“Robbie?” He blinked. “Hey, I want to introduce you to somebody.”
“There’s no one there, Russ. It’s a trick.”
“Are you nuts? She’s standing right there. Look!”
I did, and she wasn’t. I told him so. Then I told him about my grandpa.
“ Robbie, ” my grandfather interrupted, as if on cue. “ Hurry up now. Enough of this foolishness. ”
“Shut the fuck up,” I shouted.
“Who are you hollering at?” Russ seemed puzzled.
“My grandpa. You didn’t hear him, right? And I bet that you can’t see him either, can you?”
Russ nodded, frowning. He glanced into the darkness and then back at me.
“And I can’t see or hear
False.
“ Hello, Robbie, ” he said. “ Come and give your grandpa a big hug. ”
I tried to speak, but my mouth was dry. My tongue and lips felt like they were swelling. The smells grew stronger.
“Come on,” he insisted. “It’s been so long. I’ve missed you.”
He held out his arms to me the way he used to, and I remembered how safe I’d felt with them wrapped around me, squeezing. I didn’t feel that way now, and I imagined that if I went to him, the squeeze would be something less than tender or caring. I stayed where I was. In truth, I don’t know if I could have moved even if I’d wanted to. My feet felt like they were ankle deep in cement. I glanced over at Russ and Christy. They both stared into the darkness, gaping in the same direction as I’d been, but judging from their reactions, neither was seeing what I saw. I wondered what they were seeing instead. Then I turned back to my grandfather and he smiled.
“Go away,” I whispered.
“ Come on, Robbie, ” he urged again. “ At least come over here where I can see you better. You’re all grown up now. All that blond hair and those blue eyes. You look like your mother when she was your age. ”
He beckoned. The darkness seemed to flow around him like ripples in a black, oily pool.
“Go away,” I repeated, closing my eyes. “Please go away. You’re not my grandfather. You’re not real. You can’t be. You died.”
“ I’m real, ” he said. “ Touch me, Robbie. Feel me. I’m solid. ”
I opened my eyes. His eyes seemed to blaze with that cold light. It flared and sparked around his frame, billowing from his head and shoulders and fingertips. He still hadn’t moved.
But Russ had. While my eyes were shut, he’d shuffled toward the darkness. He stretched his arms, reaching for something I couldn’t see. He had a shocked, confused smile on his face.
“But why didn’t you call?” Russ peered into the shadows. “If you had just let me know you were coming, I could have picked you up at the airport.”
I glanced in the direction he was staring. There was nothing there that I could see. I turned to Christy, but she seemed oblivious to us both. Weeping, she knelt in the middle of the road, wiped her eyes and nose with her hands, and repeated, “I’m sorry,” over and over again.
“Don’t be silly,” Russ said, smiling. “It’s no trouble at all.”
“ Robbie, ” my grandfather called. “ Don’t worry about them right now. I need you to come closer. It’s hard to see you. ”
Ignoring him, I ran after Russ. He was just a few feet away from that thin razor line where the darkness became the absence of light. His smile had grown broader, and he nodded in response to something I couldn’t hear.
“Sounds good to me,” he said. “I missed you, too. You don’t know how much. Let’s go back to my place. The past is the past.”
“Russ!”
He paused but didn’t turn to face me. I hurried to catch up with him and grabbed his wrist. He turned to me as if half asleep. The confused smile was still on his face.
I squeezed his wrist. “Where are you going, man?”
“Robbie?” He blinked. “Hey, I want to introduce you to somebody.”
“There’s no one there, Russ. It’s a trick.”
“Are you nuts? She’s standing right there. Look!”
I did, and she wasn’t. I told him so. Then I told him about my grandpa.
“ Robbie, ” my grandfather interrupted, as if on cue. “ Hurry up now. Enough of this foolishness. ”
“Shut the fuck up,” I shouted.
“Who are you hollering at?” Russ seemed puzzled.
“My grandpa. You didn’t hear him, right? And I bet that you can’t see him either, can you?”
Russ nodded, frowning. He glanced into the darkness and then back at me.
“And I can’t see or hear
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